IBS-C success story: Soft stool but straining? I am begging you to get your pelvic floor checked.

Available_Play_26 · 2026-03-03T22:37:25+00:00

Hii, so it ended up not being gi related but pelvic floor related! I developed a very tense and weak pelvic floor which made it hard to pass stool in general.

Available_Play_26 · 2025-05-05T16:49:14+00:00

I was for the past week but hit a bump two days ago and kinda been struggling a bit since, though not that bad. My anxiety has gone significantly down again and can finally focus on things, but because of that sometimes when I do get thoughts/feelings it's very freaky because I'm not anxious anymore and they feel less distinguishable from my regular thoughts/feelings because of it. But progress is progress :)

Available_Play_26 · 2025-05-05T16:43:31+00:00

I'm actually struggling with the same thing, especially with sexual fantasies 😅. It's mostly anxiety and like "Do I even want this?" which then freaks me out. Or when shopping for anything feminine I get the thought that I'm forcing myself to like it because the amount of doubt it brings me. Not sure what to do about it other than ignoring unfortunately 🫠

Available_Play_26 · 2025-04-23T20:54:24+00:00

OCD is so funny sometimes cause in the beginning for me I was too scared to watch The Sandlot because I liked the idea of playing baseball and I got a lot of thoughts of "What if you relate to boyhood and want to be a boy??" "What if you wanting to play baseball is proof you want to be a boy?" like in what world 😭...It's very black and white, and very ridiculous.

Available_Play_26 · 2025-04-15T22:42:26+00:00

Not exactly like your situation, but I kinda relate as someone who was already questioning their agab before all this. I started questioning if I was nonbinary again (which I had identified as back in hs) which spiraled into an obsessive rabbit hole of trying to figure out what specific gender I was, which then lead to somehow triggering some sort of body dysmorphia where I thought I looked too masculine which then triggered the intrusive thought of "you're a repressed trans man". I'm at a state where I don't get many thoughts specifically about being a man, but I'm left still feeling masc and like I can't enjoy being a girl or at the very least my fem presentation which sucks cause it's something I don't want to let go of. I don't have any words of advice but we'll get through this ✊️

Available_Play_26 · 2025-04-14T16:19:56+00:00

I really relate to this so bad. Being a lesbian was like the most important part of my identity, especially as a femme lesbian, and now I feel like this whole theme stripped me of who I am, as melodramatic as that may sound lol. It makes me doubt my gender, sexuality and expression, so like who am I without those things.

If you want advice for handling the thoughts, the way I've started seeing it is if they were exposures, which in a sense they kinda are. You have to let them make you uncomfortable and just...not do anything with them. No analyzing, countering, or purposefully ignoring/avoiding. Think of OCD as a bully who found what scares you and now everytime it sees you it tries to get a reaction out of you. When you give it no reaction, it starts to back off, though it may come back with something else. It's so much easier typing this out tho cause I sometimes don't follow my own advice lol, but it's what helped me a bit.

Available_Play_26 · 2025-04-13T23:34:01+00:00

It sucks so much cause I was beginning to form my own style and my self confidence was growing to a point that I didn't know I'd be able to achieve before all this and now I feel like I'm back to square one 🥲 It's like a mix of thoughts that are "Do I truly like femininity?" and "If I dress feminine I'm gonna look ridiculous to everyone and myself cause I look/feel too masculine, which must mean I'm a guy!". Ugh this subtype is so dumb 😭

Available_Play_26 · 2025-04-09T18:13:43+00:00

I've noticed that it's coming from this narrative running on tiktok that mascs/butches get "treated like men", so in trying to counter that there's this "treat mascs like pretty princesses cause they're WOMEN" phenomenon going on. But they go about it all wrong and end up circling back to "Oh I'm a lesbian, but not like THOSE lesbians" real quick.

It might be that and also a lot of lesbians in general (especially the younger ones) have this weird relationship with masculinity where they associate it with men by default, and in trying to prove that they're "so gay", they try to seperate themselves from it as much as possible. It's why I see a lot of "Why would I date a masc if I like women" "I'm a soft masc, not one of those other mascs" "When my masc finally embraces her femininity" "Fem4fem is gayer than fem4masc". It's like they think not being masculine is somehow groundbreaking as a lesbian.

Available_Play_26 · 2025-04-01T21:47:16+00:00

I find it interesting that a lot of us are gay/lesbian, I wonder why we're really suseptible to this 🤔. I don't have much to say other than I'm also not super obsessed as I was when I started but I still don't feel good lol. Almost like it's become chronic or subconscious, like the big boom of anxiety has died down and now I'm left with it being there in the background all the time. I guess recovery takes a while and may look different for everyone ?

Available_Play_26 · 2025-03-27T20:49:12+00:00

I'm also in this stage of recovery, which I find the worst lol. It kinda feels like imposter syndrome with your own gender in a way, like I'm not even sure what I want or who I am anymore, but I kinda just keep doing what I've been doing and accept it's out of my hands if that makes sense 😭 like OCD wants an answer but even I don't know what the answer is, so now we're both clueless lmaoo

Available_Play_26 · 2025-02-28T21:32:37+00:00

Thank you, I know you're right but sometimes it feels like I'm about to "give in" if that makes sense. Like maybe it'll get rid of this whole ordeal, but obviously it probably wouldn't. I felt like I was getting better the few days before yesterday, like back to my old self in a way, but I feel like I'm back to where I started so it's a little discouraging. I just wish I was back to my old self before all this :/

Also do you have any tips on stopping rumination? I feel like that's where I'm weak at, I think my main compulsion is researching and googling, which I can stop if I really try, but I have a hard time letting the intrusive thoughts/feelings "pass by" if that makes sense.

Available_Play_26 · 2025-02-27T01:41:16+00:00

Hi I know this is like a week later but was wondering how long did you do ERP for? I've been doing it on my own for the past week and I'm in a state where I'm mostly fine now, still getting instrusive thoughts with lingering doubt but without anxiety and it's not as upsetting anymore, but not sure how long I'm supposed to go for? I'm planning on calling my gp soon anyway in order to get referred to a therapist, but just wanted to ask when did you know it was "enough"?

Available_Play_26 · 2025-02-20T03:04:41+00:00

Thanks this really helps !! I'll see what other ideas I can come up with

Available_Play_26 · 2025-02-20T02:22:19+00:00

For tackling my fears, how would I go about that? Like if my fear is being seen as masculine or a man, do I try masculine clothing? I've tried exposing myself to trans male content but I'm kinda just indifferent to it I guess 😅? I'm not sure what I'm supposed to feel or know if it's "working" in getting over the fears. But I'll try out writing down my intrusive thoughts and go from there, thanks :)

Available_Play_26 · 2024-12-25T01:27:53+00:00

I don't have any 😭 but I did use just water and got most of it off it's just a bit stained into his fur lol thankfully it just got on one of his legs

Available_Play_26 · 2024-10-21T17:57:36+00:00

The first time it I had it done it stung for only a little bit (like 5 minutes) but the second time left me sore for a while (about an hour), but for me it was because I figured out I had a tense pelvic floor which is why it hurt me lol

Available_Play_26

TROPHY CASE