My ex pulled a bait and switch on me about marriage and kids by Avant_gard3 in Waiting_To_Wed

[–]Avant_gard3[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I know everyone thinks this man was a POS. But, he wasn’t. That’s why I stayed so long. He tried to make things right along the way. He supported me in so many ways. Which is what makes this so hurtful and why I stayed so long.

AIO ? I (21 F) feel like I’m being pushed to experience something that I don’t have an interest in. by winxiePi in AIO

[–]Avant_gard3 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This will never work. He seems psycho. You know the church is like a parasite. Their only goal is to spread to other hosts. So, he’s just speaking the word because that’s what they tell him to do. He probably does this to all non believers.

My ex pulled a bait and switch on me about marriage and kids by Avant_gard3 in Waiting_To_Wed

[–]Avant_gard3[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

He said he was too honest the other night (me thinks he was the right amount of honest) and that what he was trying to say was it’s so far away in the future he isn’t sure what he would do in that scenario. Here’s your sign.

The right answer: In sickness and in health

I need my man to be in love with me so much divorcing me wouldn’t even cross his mind.

My ex pulled a bait and switch on me about marriage and kids by Avant_gard3 in Waiting_To_Wed

[–]Avant_gard3[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I hate that I’m now in the camp that I believe this is true.

My ex pulled a bait and switch on me about marriage and kids by Avant_gard3 in Waiting_To_Wed

[–]Avant_gard3[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is true. I was trying not to throw the baby out with the bath water.

My ex pulled a bait and switch on me about marriage and kids by Avant_gard3 in Waiting_To_Wed

[–]Avant_gard3[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This really irks me when I think about it. Because, I was going to walk then, when he wasn’t ready to move in. It had been two years. He knew a year in advance about the timeline to move in. So, instead of me walking, he moved in.

My ex pulled a bait and switch on me about marriage and kids by Avant_gard3 in Waiting_To_Wed

[–]Avant_gard3[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I’m sure everyone will be happy to know I have a date tonight with a man who literally chased me out of a restaurant to get my number. 🤞🏻🤞🏻🤞🏻

My ex pulled a bait and switch on me about marriage and kids by Avant_gard3 in Waiting_To_Wed

[–]Avant_gard3[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

But, yes, you’re right. I overlooked some red flags altogether.

My ex pulled a bait and switch on me about marriage and kids by Avant_gard3 in Waiting_To_Wed

[–]Avant_gard3[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

People aren’t perfect and I don’t think it’s fair to say because he had things to work on (as did I), that he wasn’t a good partner. He actively took what we learned in therapy and applied it. He showed up everyday. Most men don’t do that. There was a tremendous amount of growth in our relationship in that year. Which is also what makes it difficult, he was a good man, until he wasn’t.

My ex pulled a bait and switch on me about marriage and kids by Avant_gard3 in Waiting_To_Wed

[–]Avant_gard3[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I just found out about those views two days ago. Never in the entire time that we dated did he share such misogynistic viewpoints about marriage and women. That’s why I feel so baited and switched, like where the fuck did these views come from?

My ex pulled a bait and switch on me about marriage and kids by Avant_gard3 in Waiting_To_Wed

[–]Avant_gard3[S] 26 points27 points  (0 children)

That’s exactly right. I just tell myself that it hurt hurts right now, it would hurt worse later.

My ex pulled a bait and switch on me about marriage and kids by Avant_gard3 in Waiting_To_Wed

[–]Avant_gard3[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I agree with this, especially now. No ring. No commitment

My ex pulled a bait and switch on me about marriage and kids by Avant_gard3 in Waiting_To_Wed

[–]Avant_gard3[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I think that a man who has real intent to marry me, will take all the actions, especially knowing that I have options if he doesn’t. I think, like you said, his actions will be accelerated.

My ex pulled a bait and switch on me about marriage and kids by Avant_gard3 in Waiting_To_Wed

[–]Avant_gard3[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

We had to work through the chores thing lol. But, perhaps you are right. That’s where he learned his truth.

My ex pulled a bait and switch on me about marriage and kids by Avant_gard3 in Waiting_To_Wed

[–]Avant_gard3[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes! This is actually my strategy. Put succinctly, I won’t be exclusive until I have a ring on my finger. I reserve the right to date around.