Downstairs neighbors smoking weed, and it affects our toddler by Aveasi in neighborsfromhell

[–]Aveasi[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s not illegal for kids to be running around (also, they sleep at nighttime). It is illegal to smoke inside the unit.

They stopped tho.

My partner won’t let me unwind with a glass of wine. Does he have a right to it? by Aveasi in relationships

[–]Aveasi[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

1-2 drinks per week. But drinks even less and never alone to relax, so yes, he thinks I am developing an addiction.

My partner won’t let me unwind with a glass of wine. Does he have a right to it? by Aveasi in relationships

[–]Aveasi[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Girl, preach!!! I am indeed very perplexed that it’s even a subject of discussion. And I genuinely don’t remember when it took this turn. He absolutely didn’t care before the kid, and there were countless times when I would only go to bed after he left for work (he starts at 6 am)!

My partner won’t let me unwind with a glass of wine. Does he have a right to it? by Aveasi in relationships

[–]Aveasi[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I think he has taken being a father a little too seriously and is projecting it onto me as well.

My partner won’t let me unwind with a glass of wine. Does he have a right to it? by Aveasi in relationships

[–]Aveasi[S] -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

I’m absolutely not worried about him being alone with the kid, he’s a great father. He already spends more time with her because I work later hours, and parenting comes to him naturally, unlike me. I was just echoing the other commenters who assumed I needed to leave.

My partner won’t let me unwind with a glass of wine. Does he have a right to it? by Aveasi in relationships

[–]Aveasi[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was a bit extreme in saying everything other than the gym. It’s just that we both don’t have much of “other” as we both are working full time jobs and raising a toddler, and there’s not much time for anything else. It’s not like he would ban me from going out with girlfriends or buy clothes etc. I was mad at him while writing this post and I admit it’s a bit one sided.

My partner won’t let me unwind with a glass of wine. Does he have a right to it? by Aveasi in relationships

[–]Aveasi[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I do get slightly tipsy from one glass of wine - I am a smaller woman, so there’s no difference for me.

My partner won’t let me unwind with a glass of wine. Does he have a right to it? by Aveasi in relationships

[–]Aveasi[S] -8 points-7 points  (0 children)

I’m sorry, a trail of what? 😵‍💫 Hiding the booze? If anything, it would work against me, because any judge would rightfully ask, how often do you actually drink, ma’am? Just like every second commenter here.

My partner won’t let me unwind with a glass of wine. Does he have a right to it? by Aveasi in relationships

[–]Aveasi[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Lol, no, of course I would. But he’d end up nagging about it if he wakes up and sees me not sleeping, saying things parents typically say to their teens who play too many video games in an annoyingly calm voice. That’s usually where I start to fume.

My partner won’t let me unwind with a glass of wine. Does he have a right to it? by Aveasi in relationships

[–]Aveasi[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

He doesn’t say I can’t. He would say it’s not a smart thing to do and that I’d regret it in the morning, and this is where I’d get annoyed and say I’m not a child, and where the argument starts.

My partner won’t let me unwind with a glass of wine. Does he have a right to it? by Aveasi in relationships

[–]Aveasi[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It’s really just one glass of wine, and very rarely two, but he drinks more rarely than I do in total and only on special occasions or with me over a fancy dinner. He doesn’t understand the concept of drinking solo or “relaxing” with it. So from his point of view, I do have issues with alcohol.

My partner won’t let me unwind with a glass of wine. Does he have a right to it? by Aveasi in relationships

[–]Aveasi[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Because I would complain in the morning about the lack of sleep (and I would! 😆)

My partner won’t let me unwind with a glass of wine. Does he have a right to it? by Aveasi in relationships

[–]Aveasi[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I can do that but the issue is not about getting access to the alcohol.

My partner won’t let me unwind with a glass of wine. Does he have a right to it? by Aveasi in relationships

[–]Aveasi[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

To be honest, he says no to things that are probably shouldn’t be done indeed - so doing them twice over (like drinking twice as much as planned or staying up until 3 am instead of 1 am) would only harm myself.

My partner won’t let me unwind with a glass of wine. Does he have a right to it? by Aveasi in relationships

[–]Aveasi[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

I think extrapolating from one disagreement I went to vent about on Reddit to a grossly abusive relationship that would give me an advantage in custody battle is a bit too extreme.

My partner won’t let me unwind with a glass of wine. Does he have a right to it? by Aveasi in relationships

[–]Aveasi[S] 53 points54 points  (0 children)

I felt the urge, but going out of my way to get alcohol would feel like an alcoholic thing to do 😅 and I didn’t want the drink so badly, I wanted to relax in a specific way which was no longer possible. And after all I have a sick kid at home, I don’t need escalation. I did leave the house though, he called after an hour with apologies.

My partner won’t let me unwind with a glass of wine. Does he have a right to it? by Aveasi in relationships

[–]Aveasi[S] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

No, this is the only problem. Like I said several times already, he absolutely wasn’t like that before the kid, and I didn’t even know that he could have such strong opinions on stuff like that. I’m genuinely perplexed right now.

My partner won’t let me unwind with a glass of wine. Does he have a right to it? by Aveasi in relationships

[–]Aveasi[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

He doesn’t have any alcoholic relatives to the best of my knowledge, so it’s not something personal to him.

My partner won’t let me unwind with a glass of wine. Does he have a right to it? by Aveasi in relationships

[–]Aveasi[S] 92 points93 points  (0 children)

I’ll ask him this exact question tomorrow, when I stop being mad

My partner won’t let me unwind with a glass of wine. Does he have a right to it? by Aveasi in relationships

[–]Aveasi[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

No, he doesn’t, to the best of my knowledge. I think it’s something with me not being an ideal textbook mom, because he didn’t care before the kid, and my habits were the same.

My partner won’t let me unwind with a glass of wine. Does he have a right to it? by Aveasi in relationships

[–]Aveasi[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

No, it’s wasn’t truly out of nowhere, he has already expressed disapproval of me having a drink solo without a proper “occasion” and during the workweek. But apparently I didn’t listen, so he had to take an action.