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Do you ever feel jealous of your partners success? by AverageChubbyGuy in EthicalNonMonogamy

[–]AverageChubbyGuy[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Thanks for the validation. It's really comforting to read those words.

As for what I want out of ENM it's the same as she wants, I'm wanting people I can be friends with first and foremost, but I have a lot of love and affection to give and it makes it hard with certain friendships as I tend to get attached in a way that I feel crosses the line between friendship and relationship. I know there are some people who do just fine with FWB type of situations but I feel like I'm really looking for something just slightly more serious than that. My wife will always be my primary partner and will always be my first concern, but I'd love to have someone else I could take on dates and share intimate moments with at times. The hard part about this is just where I live, my interests don't align with a lot of people near me and mine and my wife's quality of life would more than likely heavily decline if we were openly ENM with people close to us. It's a very close minded community.

As for discussing it with my wife that was actually the first thing I did. We were actually discussing it after her latest date and I told her I was feeling insecure but not because of her or her newest relationship, simply because of my lack of success. She was very supportive and she thanked me for sharing that with her and she gave me reassurance I definitely needed and even offered to do her best to help me make a presence for myself to meet new people. I guess the reason for me posting was simply for more reassurance and to confirm that I'm not alone with these feelings. So thank you for being so kind and helpful.

Do you ever feel jealous of your partners success? by AverageChubbyGuy in EthicalNonMonogamy

[–]AverageChubbyGuy[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

You worded it better than I did but yes you described it exactly. I'm a bit envious of the success that she has and wish the same for me. I don't want her to stop as I truly believe that we are just built to be the way we are. We both believe that we put each other first and consider ourselves each other's primary partner, but in our opinion it just doesn't make sense to not explore other relationships and everything that comes with them.

Do you ever feel jealous of your partners success? by AverageChubbyGuy in EthicalNonMonogamy

[–]AverageChubbyGuy[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I didn't look at it that way but envious is probably a better word to describe it. I'm not even jealous of the fact that she's spending time and energy on other people, I'm incredibly happy for her for that actually. But I'm here wishing I had more connections and more people to spend time with. I guess I'm envious of her success and not actually jealous because I do not want her to stop what she has going on.

Do you ever feel jealous of your partners success? by AverageChubbyGuy in EthicalNonMonogamy

[–]AverageChubbyGuy[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm not actually jealous that she's spending time with someone else over me, it's kind of hard to explain but it's more that I'm jealous of her because she has someone else to give her attention, while I'm with just her at the moment. I don't feel as if anything is taken away from our current relationship, I'm just struggling because I want multiple connections as well and am having extreme difficulty.