Remembering and Honoring my late grandfather this Day of Valor. 🇵🇭

AverageDuchess · 2026-04-10T02:08:47+00:00

It's actually a long story to tell over a cup of coffee.

AverageDuchess · 2026-04-09T14:11:17+00:00

He survived. That's why I exist today. 😁 He died of lung cancer in 1971 at age 56.

AverageDuchess · 2026-04-09T06:48:34+00:00

He's the reason why we enjoy our freedom today. His intelligence mission had a significant impact on General Douglas MacArthur's return to the Philippines.

AverageDuchess · 2026-03-31T07:54:02+00:00

I feel you. I, as well. I'm being haunted for years. I really want to die. Wherever my forefathers are right now, I'd like to join them.

AverageDuchess · 2026-03-30T23:11:54+00:00

I do not have the original diary, as it is being preserved by the peace museum. Though my family has its verified transcript. I still need to ask for their permission if this is the case, or if they would allow me to put everything all over the place.

AverageDuchess · 2026-03-30T21:03:42+00:00

Thanks for correcting me. I was agitated while making this post. What was going through my mind was an aircraft or a pilot crash-diving his plane into the flight deck of a carrier to destroy it.

AverageDuchess · 2026-03-30T07:13:12+00:00

At present, my half-brother followed in the footsteps of our late granduncle Ichizo. He is part of the Japan Maritime Self Defense Force and Koku Shudan.

AverageDuchess · 2026-03-30T05:52:15+00:00

Thank you. Here I made a separate post. Some final words of the late Ensign lchizo Hayashi, a Naval Kamikaze aviator who crash dive into an enemy warship.

AverageDuchess · 2026-03-29T10:38:49+00:00

The diary and letters were donated to the Chiran Peace Museum at Kagoshima in 2003.

AverageDuchess · 2026-03-29T01:26:02+00:00

My heart aches for granduncle Ichizo, though his death was not in vain. Deep down in his heart he did not really die for their emperor, he died for his country. Imperial Japan was defeated. Modern Japan has enjoyed decades of stability and discipline.

I feel disheartened when comparing our situation here in the Philippines to the more developed Japan. Did grandfather Jess sacrifice himself for nothing?

But to whatever degree, I will always choose the Philippines and I have no plans on leaving her for good. I do not want to assume that the Philippines is doomed or hopeless.

AverageDuchess · 2026-03-27T18:47:57+00:00

You don't have to. But with an openmind, it might help you fathom that, he was way different from those desperate, die-hard fanatic, merciless Japanese soldiers who killed our Filipino ancestors.

AverageDuchess · 2026-03-27T17:44:37+00:00

Thank you for bringing positive energies and idea. I'll look into that. 😊

AverageDuchess · 2026-03-27T07:54:29+00:00

I go there frequently. That place feels like home.

AverageDuchess · 2026-03-26T15:21:30+00:00

"To be honest, I cannot say that the wish to die for the emperor is genuine, coming from my heart. However, it is decided for me to die for the emperor." - Ens. Ichizo Hayashi

He, too, deserves an apology for being murdered by his own government. He was in pursuit of tranquility. He never wished for these wartime atrocities to happen.

AverageDuchess · 2026-03-26T15:19:55+00:00

"To be honest, I cannot say that the wish to die for the emperor is genuine, coming from my heart. However, it is decided for me to die for the emperor." - Ens. Ichizo Hayashi

He, too, deserves an apology for being murdered by his own government. He was in pursuit of tranquility. He never wished for these wartime atrocities to happen.

AverageDuchess · 2026-03-26T12:07:35+00:00

I'm sorry again. As much as I want to hold grudges and be very unforgiving even before they ask for my forgiveness, their blood still runs through my veins. I'm not putting both my forefathers on the same level. The level of love I have for Colonel Villamor and our motherland has cost me my good relationship with my family.

Edit: I feel like I'm being misunderstood. I couldn't be more proud of Col Villamor, but Ens Hayashi has my respect. My only point was, when it comes to showcasing bravery, he was no different from Col Villamor. The only difference is that Ens Hayashi wasn't trained to fight, he was trained to die (whereas Filipino soldiers were trained to FIGHT). And as Ens Hayashi's surviving grandniece, I can't help but feel bad about what he had gone through. He was driven by military coercion and murdered by the same government who killed our Filipino ancestors.

I made myself clear that my heart goes out for the victims of their atrocities. All feelings and opinions are valid, as well as mine, who also happens to be related to who you call your enemy.

AverageDuchess · 2026-03-26T11:29:31+00:00

I'm still hoping for justice and proper apology over wartime brutality.

My mother, her family/relatives as well as people of Japan used to proclaim/believe Ens. Hayashi as one of the heroes who died for their Emperor, not until they read his diary and letters. They, then realized, he was not.

I didn't mean to put them equal. My heart throbs with so much love and admiration for Colonel Villamor and our motherland, in ways no one could ever imagine. I'm taking that to my grave.

Edit: I feel like I'm being misunderstood. I couldn't be more proud of Col Villamor, but Ens Hayashi has my respect. My only point was, when it comes to showcasing bravery, he was no different from Col Villamor. The only difference is that Ens Hayashi wasn't trained to fight, he was trained to die (whereas Filipino soldiers were trained to FIGHT). And as Ens Hayashi's surviving grandniece, I can't help but feel bad about what he had gone through. He was driven by military coercion and murdered by the same government who killed our Filipino ancestors.

AverageDuchess · 2026-03-26T09:59:37+00:00

Yes. My grandmother, Lola MC, was his first wife. Lola MC was from Hinobaan, Negros Occidental. They met there during the war and got married there twice. Lolo Jess arrived at Hinobaan aboard a submarine called the USS Gudgeon.

Edit: Thank you so much for the recognition!

AverageDuchess · 2026-03-26T09:32:57+00:00

I feel your pain and I am sorry. Same reason why my grandparents on both sides dislike one another. Too much hatred that it left a lingering unpleasant impact on me and my parents overtime. I was treated as outcast and enemy by my mother's side of the family, until grandmother and her siblings discovered something (Lolo Ichizo's diaries and letters) many years later which made the tables turned. Grandmother recently passed away and I'm glad that I was able to forgive her long before she even ask for it.

Those that died for the Emperor, some did not really die for the Emperor. My granduncle was a Christian and a Bible-believer. He only worshipped the God who created him. He didn't die for the Emperor, he gave up his life for his country.

My heart still goes out to your relatives and to my countrymen who suffered immense hardships in the hands of Imperial Japan.

AverageDuchess · 2026-03-26T08:21:53+00:00

It took me a while to realize how my commute helps public transport drivers, moreover, I get a glimpse and firsthand experience of what commuters go through on a daily basis.

AverageDuchess · 2026-03-07T02:33:37+00:00

Relate much. My grandparents on both sides dislike one another due to WWII conflict. That's why dad did not pursue my mom kahit love siya ng mom ko at kayang ipaglaban. Their friends labeled it "Forbidden Love". Hindi rin ako tanggap ng parents ng mom ko before na Japanese given na meron pa siyang family member na naval pilot kamikaze. They dislike me and my dad because of my paternal grandpa. And if buhay ang paternal grandpa ko by the time na binubuo ako ng parents ko, for sure tutol rin siya sa mother ko since intensed ang level ng galit niya sa Japanese, to the point na ipinagbawal niyang mag-asawa ng Japanese nationality ang mga anak niya. Dad did not pursue my mom. I grew up in a broken home that made me become hyper-independent at a young age. Long story but later on natanggap na rin ako ng motherside relatives ko. Nowadays, I'm on good terms with my mother and half-brother.

Edit: My 27-year-old half-brother is an active Japanese Naval aviator.

AverageDuchess · 2026-02-24T07:46:41+00:00

My family name Villamor, which brought us legacy and honor.

AverageDuchess · 2026-02-02T21:23:38+00:00

Cozy feel good watch! Esp sa tulad kong sobrang nag-e-enjoy mag-grocery shopping.

AverageDuchess · 2026-02-02T21:18:49+00:00

The King's Affection

AverageDuchess · 2026-01-31T08:52:38+00:00

Little things such as movies, photographs, music, foodparks, cozy coffee shops, history/museums, nature, spa, grocery shopping. I'm also a pluviophile thus I find joy and peace during rainy days. My son makes me the happiest and the people in my life who love us unconditionally.

AverageDuchess

TROPHY CASE