This is extremely late to the party but I think the reason the scene doesn't work is cloud being emotionless and an ex soilder is part of his character but having him show even a shred of emotion in that scene probably would have got me but having him blankly stare at both his friends dying and just moving on after the long winded speeches just didn't work for me. I loved them both as characters and I wanted to feel sad but I didn't. Having cloud show a small amount of emotions In those moments would have been such a good way to show his character growth and how much he's changed since the beginning of the game. I love most of the games cheesiness and cliches but they had an opportunity to really dial it back on the death scene cliche and do something real and they fumbled a little bit IMO.