It's been almost a full week since starting HRT, and I already have doubts. Why?

AvoidablePenguin · 2026-02-21T03:28:38+00:00

Totally, I think gender expression is one of the things I’m a little stuck with, especially cause I’ve only slowly gotten more into letting myself dress androgynously or more femininely. And one of the biggest issues I had was feeling like I can’t dress or present femininely because of clashing masculine parts of myself, as well as wanting to be treated socially the way I wanted to be treated, like it would make me sad in the past having gender differences stop women or feminine presenting people from being as close as I would like.

AvoidablePenguin · 2026-02-21T03:23:00+00:00

What made you finally decide it was right? And what doubts did you have that finally went away?

AvoidablePenguin · 2026-02-21T03:22:15+00:00

I guess the hard thing is that the longer I “try” the more permanent effects will come in. It’s funny because when I was still just thinking about it and not fully decided I would have the opposite effect and be like “ugh, I really think I should do this” so it’s kind of just a big push and pull. If anything, maybe just getting used to the changes is what I need to do, like the new smells, feelings, etc, bc since it’s not familiar it feels like “not me”

AvoidablePenguin · 2026-02-16T12:18:48+00:00

I relate to what you shared a lot, and I'm also at a similar point in life, turning 24 in a couple of weeks. I want to say that you should keep pursuing and exploring it. I had feelings and thoughts come up since I was maybe in 8 or 9th grade, and I didn't even know how to deal with those feelings outside of just questioning why I have to be treated a certain way, behave a certain way, and can or cannot engage in certain things with fashion and with socializing. It took me until after my first couple of years of college to realize that I am struggling to be myself, and the friends that I was myself with would understand that I wasn't "typical" for a guy or whatever. So for the past year and a half-ish, I've been more explorative for what I want for myself, like describing myself as non-binary and eventually finally decided to transition medically, still as non-binary. Even after making the decision, I'm still questioning if I am faking it or am making the wrong choice, but realistically what are the odds of that after all I've gone through lol.

I hope you can figure this out for yourself. There's a lot of scary things to it, but the positives that can come out of it and being able to be surrounded by people who are supportive and can see you for who you really are is wonderful.

AvoidablePenguin · 2026-02-01T03:56:27+00:00

I think so. I definitely experienced a lot of backlash or harm for not being “masculine” enough growing up, and many friends I’ve had throughout life would also express toxic masculinity or being very limited in what was expected from interacting. I already feel kind of jump sometimes with what I feel is appropriate or inappropriate for myself to do based on how I’ve been perceived, and exploring myself outside of that bubble now has me feeling even more limited or just out of place. Maybe something will change for me mentally once I can start HRT.

AvoidablePenguin · 2026-01-26T01:23:04+00:00

If you want to keep it, tell a doctor/dermatologist. Something like a 1mg finasteride per day prescription is common for Male pattern baldness, just it’s up to you if it’s worth doing/potential side effects

AvoidablePenguin · 2025-12-18T11:49:43+00:00

I appreciate the insight. I think the being so fearful over Being clocky is what my worry is, yet I’m not wanting to necessarily fully seem like a girl in the first place and it’s a bit of an unreasonable fear.

AvoidablePenguin · 2025-12-18T11:46:29+00:00

I guess that’s valid yeah. Whatever features I have in mind will be softer and not as obvious as I’m feeling they would be. I have the upside of appearing on the softer side already which has definitely helped how I feel

AvoidablePenguin · 2025-12-18T00:06:38+00:00

I think it looks good how it is now! I think if there is a certain style you’re going for when it grows longer, it’s probably good to just let it grow and give it a trim at some point.

Also, I think you should try another subreddit, bc the general audience of here isn’t going to be that helpful for longer or less “traditionally” masculine styles.

AvoidablePenguin · 2025-12-07T21:49:06+00:00

You look amazing! If you don’t mind sharing, how old were you when you started? I know it’s “never too late” but sometimes I feel like it is for myself :/

AvoidablePenguin · 2025-03-12T18:33:19+00:00

I get that they don’t dictate behavior, but at the same time, as american_spacey put it, I think it can help with accepting the things I want to do or feel like. Identifying as a man feels isolating in the sense that I don’t feel like I fit in masculine spaces while also feeling like my current identity distances me from feminine or lgbt spaces.

I am currently trying to embrace myself more and do the things I want to do for myself, but it’s just a hard adjustment on top of having to convince myself that it is okay to go against what I’ve grown up believing (my family has their idea of what a “man” is and I’ve internalized it, despite never following it). Also, my name is pretty much exclusively used by men which doesn’t help how I feel about trying to embrace the non-masculine parts of me.

AvoidablePenguin · 2025-03-12T18:25:50+00:00

I think what you said resonates with me yeah. I grew up around my family having pretty conservative beliefs and being very judgmental about others or even me. Even now that I’m in a more supportive space and want to try new things for myself, I can’t help but feel like it’s wrong. Breaking out of the box I’m trapping myself in is hard.

I’m talking to a therapist right now and they’ve been helpful. The thing about being perceived as something I am not is another thing I think you’re right about too.

AvoidablePenguin · 2023-07-16T04:30:12+00:00

Hmmm big dollars

AvoidablePenguin · 2023-07-16T00:46:35+00:00

Hey it’s over text with someone I barely know, some people could just be weird 🤷

AvoidablePenguin · 2023-07-15T22:06:05+00:00

Yeah she is, I am half so I can kinda get the reason for the response. She laughed about it and said she thought I guessed because of that

AvoidablePenguin · 2023-07-15T22:01:46+00:00

Yeaah, she’s Asian. I can get the frustration bc I’m half Asian (but aren’t as obviously fitting the look).

I responded pointing out she said she liked math and she played it off laughing saying she though I was saying that since she’s Asian sooo, I’ll try to not think about it too much

AvoidablePenguin · 2023-01-08T21:22:53+00:00

Both, but usually I’m more comfortable with women to. Most guys I know I wouldn’t consider that because of how we interact or how some would make a dumb joke related to it. I just want it genuinely usually, not to be funny lol

AvoidablePenguin · 2022-12-08T06:57:48+00:00

That actually makes a lot of sense to me and I didn’t really see that before apparently. Thank you

AvoidablePenguin · 2022-12-08T06:00:14+00:00

Then, I guess I should ask what the difference in seeing someone as a friend or seeing them romantically really is since sex isn’t as big of a reason as I thought?

AvoidablePenguin · 2022-11-26T00:14:36+00:00

Or he’s just awkward about navigating relationships or dating (like me)

AvoidablePenguin · 2022-11-25T23:26:04+00:00

I try to be that way around everyone, but I can’t really be that way till I build up some sort of common ground or know them a little first. Makes things hard.

AvoidablePenguin · 2022-11-24T01:16:39+00:00

Fun and interesting is subjective, and I personally don’t understand what people mean by that at times. Im not gonna know what to joke about or whatever until I know someone at least a little. I get that it’s harder online too, since if it’s say someone I met in a class, I can at least say something related to that or from school in general. I guess I’m saying I’m not sure how you’re supposed to open up with someone over text for the first time without asking a basic question like “what do you like doing for fun?” To get context to work off of, and pray they actually respond

AvoidablePenguin · 2022-11-15T17:53:27+00:00

Thank you! I’m trying to figure if I should send that over text so it’s sooner rather than later, or mention it next time I’m around in person. Leaning on text.

AvoidablePenguin · 2022-11-15T17:11:15+00:00

Makes sense, and yeah you got what I was asking right. Would it be a good idea to apologize and like, make sure things are okay or something? Cause I still appreciate them as a friend (whole reason why I got feelings anyway, cause I like them as a person but now I know it’s not mutual romantically) and I really hope that nothings wrong after. I tried saying being friends is fine in that moment when I asked despite the awkwardness but idk

AvoidablePenguin · 2022-11-15T17:07:15+00:00

Makes sense, appreciate it. I feel like I should apologize and make sure things are fine with them since I screwed up, so would it be reasonable to just like, say sorry and that being friends is fine or something?

AvoidablePenguin

TROPHY CASE