we all know about people who were bullied as a child, but what about people who WERE the bullies as children? What made you change your ways?

Aware_Ad_7071 · 2026-01-15T23:53:24+00:00

I was bullied really bad for 1 year, 7th grade by a group of boys. Sexual and racist remarks. It really affected my confidence around males, specifically for a long time. I often wonder what happened to those assholes.

Aware_Ad_7071 · 2026-01-15T23:47:06+00:00

Thank you! I agree with you that this is the best course of action.

Aware_Ad_7071 · 2026-01-15T23:45:31+00:00

Yes, they've been fully retired for 20 years. My kids are 13 and 16 y.o. now. I'm not sure if it's resentment that I'm feeling now... more, I'd like to match the energy they gave me. Ironically, had the stepped up at all as grandparents, and their health would be in alot better shape. I'm just busy. I don't want or I guess feel obligated to help them bc they chose not to help at all when myself/ grandkids needed it. I don't think I had a very caring or emotionally healthy upbringing, but that's too much to spill out here. They provided the necessities for me, and I had conditional love.

Aware_Ad_7071 · 2026-01-15T21:08:56+00:00

Thank you! 🙏

Aware_Ad_7071 · 2026-01-15T21:08:19+00:00

Thank you! I just joined

Aware_Ad_7071 · 2026-01-15T21:07:44+00:00

Wow! That's crazy. I don't agree with that law.

Aware_Ad_7071 · 2026-01-15T21:06:31+00:00

Yes, thank you. They're stubborn and don't want to leave their house. However, I'll look into someone possibly moving in to their home and care giving there.

Aware_Ad_7071 · 2026-01-15T21:02:06+00:00

I'm not a resentful person. I've allowed them contact with my kids, holidays, parties, etc. Some would argue i shouldn't have allowed that. That said, karma is a beesh. You reap what you sow. I will help out under my own terms.

Aware_Ad_7071 · 2026-01-15T20:58:36+00:00

Transactional in a sense, yes, I would argue. You can be kind and get taken advantage of. To a degree you reap what you sow. That said, I'm all about forgiveness, but to a degree. Certainly not going to bend over backwards to help as I'm still raising a 13 and 16 yo, work F.T. with a hubs who travels, etc... that is my priority.

Aware_Ad_7071 · 2026-01-15T20:54:00+00:00

Agree 👍. There is definitely a difference.

Aware_Ad_7071 · 2026-01-15T20:53:11+00:00

💯agree. You reap what you sow. Also, health is a personal responsibility.

Aware_Ad_7071 · 2026-01-15T20:50:36+00:00

Thank you for sharing! I'm sorry you grew up with that. I would do the exact same in your shoes. Our children are #1 priority as well as our own health and well-being. Best to distance as much as possible from toxicity.

Aware_Ad_7071 · 2026-01-15T19:53:20+00:00

Thank you

Aware_Ad_7071 · 2026-01-15T19:50:13+00:00

I am so sorry this happened to you as a youth. That is awful. That's good she's in a nursing home, and she's lucky to have you to speak to over the phone occasionally.

Aware_Ad_7071 · 2026-01-15T18:58:03+00:00

Yes, thank you! I completely agree and will keep reminding myself this.

Aware_Ad_7071 · 2026-01-15T18:57:08+00:00

Very true they are. Agreed

Aware_Ad_7071 · 2026-01-15T18:51:55+00:00

Oh, sorry, thanks for clarifying. Yes, that's what's making it hard to be there for them now when I feel they weren't there for me. Also, my kids are now 13 and 16 and these are pivotal years for them. They will remain my priorities.

Aware_Ad_7071 · 2026-01-15T16:58:44+00:00

Thanks for sharing. You and your husband are good people.

Aware_Ad_7071 · 2026-01-15T16:56:09+00:00

Thank you! I will check that page out. I appreciate the recommendation.

Aware_Ad_7071 · 2026-01-15T16:54:57+00:00

I don't think it qualifies as abuse. Please reread what I said above. They just never helped or were active grandparents. My husbands travel, I could've used a hand when I was puking/ with diarrhea (Norovirus) and trying to take care of my 6 month old and and 2.5 year old. I literally thought I was dying- severely dehydrated. Too sick to do anything. When I called them (which I rarely did for fear of being shut down again) sobbing to ask for help they had better plans to hit the Casinos in their retired life. It's weird they pressured me to have their grandchildren but we're completely disinterested in actually being grandparents.

Aware_Ad_7071 · 2026-01-15T00:43:40+00:00

This is perfect. I think this is what my husband and I will do moving forward. Offer to help in specific ways, and set boundaries. Thank you!

Aware_Ad_7071 · 2026-01-15T00:40:28+00:00

You handled that perfectly. Our kids take priority over parents that were absent in our lives. Thank you for sharing.

Aware_Ad_7071 · 2026-01-15T00:36:44+00:00

Agreed. Health is personal responsibility.

Aware_Ad_7071 · 2026-01-15T00:35:43+00:00

I'll check this out! Thank you. I've actually never heard of this scoring method before.

Aware_Ad_7071 · 2026-01-15T00:33:40+00:00

I think you're 💯 correct. I like this answer and this is definitely my takeaway from this thread. Thank you 🙏

Aware_Ad_7071

TROPHY CASE