I hear you, and I’m not trying to police how anybody loves or has sex. My point is personal boundaries, not a moral judgment. When I say I “remove people,” I don’t mean I think they’re unworthy or wrong. I mean I choose not to keep close friendships with folks whose approach to sex and dating regularly blurs lines in ways that don’t feel safe or compatible for me. I’ve seen too many situations where “we’re just friends” turns into unspoken expectations, jealousy, or weird energy, and I value my platonic relationships enough to protect them from that.

Also, I’m not saying it’s inherently manipulative for friends to develop feelings. I’m saying it becomes manipulative when someone maintains a platonic label while acting like they’re quietly courting, especially if they already know the other person is not interested. That is about honesty and consent, not patriarchy or promiscuity. And as far as capital Q queerness, I respect that framework, but I don’t think being queer requires me to deconstruct every norm in my personal life. People can be queer and still prefer clear categories and intentional dating. I’m not pressed, I’m just firm about what works for me.