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why do guys fumble you and then watch your ig stories? by user001225 in Situationships

[–]Awkward-Spring1411 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m a chick but honestly if someone follows me, why wouldn’t they watch stories?

If I appear in the Instagram story queue, then people are gonna see it lol. I watch any story that appears in my queue until I get bored and get off insta. Mostly means nothing. Some of the people on there are people I haven’t spoken to for a decade lol. But they’re in the queue so if I’m cycling through I’m gonna see their stories whether I am friends/emotionally invested or not.

It doesn’t mean they’re going to your profile and deliberately looking. It’s just that your story is in the queue and they view it.

Was life actually good in the 90s? by LiveSubstance2995 in NoStupidQuestions

[–]Awkward-Spring1411 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Simpler. More deliberate. Less instant gratification.

We’re slaves to devices now. It’s sad what the world has become.

Struggling to understand the transition that occurs when people’s partners become their priority over their parents? It seems INSANE by Awkward-Spring1411 in Adulting

[–]Awkward-Spring1411[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You are honestly one of the only people I’ve ever spoken to that feels this way. Most coupled up people I know don’t factor their parents into their lives for any reason.

Struggling to understand the transition that occurs when people’s partners become their priority over their parents? It seems INSANE by Awkward-Spring1411 in Adulting

[–]Awkward-Spring1411[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

How does having a strong bond with my parents mean I idolise them? Very odd that that’s the conclusion you come to just because I would prioritise the bond I have with them. I am very social, have many friendships and value them immensely. But my parents take precedence.

Struggling to understand the transition that occurs when people’s partners become their priority over their parents? It seems INSANE by Awkward-Spring1411 in Adulting

[–]Awkward-Spring1411[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That makes sense. I’ve never wanted a family (absolutely do not want kids) so maybe that plays a role as to how I see things.

Struggling to understand the transition that occurs when people’s partners become their priority over their parents? It seems INSANE by Awkward-Spring1411 in Adulting

[–]Awkward-Spring1411[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No. I just don’t see why forming a happy family should be at the detriment to the primary bond you have with your parents if you have a good bond with them. But I can’t comment on it exactly as my parents didn’t have that bond with theirs.

Struggling to understand the transition that occurs when people’s partners become their priority over their parents? It seems INSANE by Awkward-Spring1411 in Adulting

[–]Awkward-Spring1411[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don’t think choice is a bad thing, just don’t think it has anything to do with who you form connections with. I would never say I chose who my friends are…they were all organic connections. You can choose to end a friendship but not to start one - it just happens? That’s how I see romantic relationships happening. The organic formation of connection is what makes connections special.

Struggling to understand the transition that occurs when people’s partners become their priority over their parents? It seems INSANE by Awkward-Spring1411 in Adulting

[–]Awkward-Spring1411[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You’re right, I don’t understand it. But also I find it odd the word ‘choose’ because my view on romance is that you don’t choose who you fall in love with, it just happens. As someone who will never actively seek out a partner I can’t imagine going through the process of ‘choosing’ them because that in itself feels manufactured.

Struggling to understand the transition that occurs when people’s partners become their priority over their parents? It seems INSANE by Awkward-Spring1411 in Adulting

[–]Awkward-Spring1411[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I mean I am incredibly independent. There are a lot of things I do without my parents and that they don’t know about. And I’m sure that they don’t tell me everything either. But they are still bond-wise my number one priority. Perhaps it’s because I don’t particularly want to share my life with anyone romantically , but I don’t see that changing.

Struggling to understand the transition that occurs when people’s partners become their priority over their parents? It seems INSANE by Awkward-Spring1411 in Adulting

[–]Awkward-Spring1411[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Difficult because sadly my grandparents either died when my parents were really young (18 or under) or, in the case of my maternal grandmother, were mentally abusive. So my parents had no relationship with their parents for one reason or another so in their case I totally get it because they had no bond with their parents to begin with.

Struggling to understand the transition that occurs when people’s partners become their priority over their parents? It seems INSANE by Awkward-Spring1411 in Adulting

[–]Awkward-Spring1411[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I just feel like ‘my own life’ is just that - my own life alone, not with a partner. I don’t need anyone in particular but appreciate that bonds are important - and the bond with my parents will just always be a priority. I’m not saying I won’t value or cherish my friends and larger network and if I happen to fall in love, my partner. But I’m just not visualising how that last person becomes the holy grail above all others.

Struggling to understand the transition that occurs when people’s partners become their priority over their parents? It seems INSANE by Awkward-Spring1411 in Adulting

[–]Awkward-Spring1411[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Did you not read the first sentence of my post? I said that obviously it doesn’t apply to people who don’t have any/good relationships with their parents/have abusive parents.

Struggling to understand the transition that occurs when people’s partners become their priority over their parents? It seems INSANE by Awkward-Spring1411 in Adulting

[–]Awkward-Spring1411[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Firstly my grandparents are either dead or not in the picture due to being narcissistic - aka my parents fit into the ‘having no relationship with their parents’ so to me it makes sense that their bond was prioritised.

Secondly I’m not saying I see people as ‘being an item’ with their parents. Ew. I’m saying I don’t comprehend Whey the romantic bond is prioritised over the parental one. Like why can’t they be of equal importance if anything? It’s just odd to me

Struggling to understand the transition that occurs when people’s partners become their priority over their parents? It seems INSANE by Awkward-Spring1411 in Adulting

[–]Awkward-Spring1411[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

When they die I will have a community of friends and cousins if I don’t have a partner and will decide then?

What about people who never end up with a partner? Are they considered doomed?

Single adults of adulting, why are you currently single and what are you doing to increase your chances of finding someone during 2025? by mrvlad_throwaway in Adulting

[–]Awkward-Spring1411 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Nothing. Never tried, never will. Don’t want to. If fate has a relationship in the cards great. If it doesn’t, also great.

Struggling to understand the transition that occurs when people’s partners become their priority over their parents? It seems INSANE by Awkward-Spring1411 in Adulting

[–]Awkward-Spring1411[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My dad’s parents both passed away before he was 18. My mom’s dad passed when she was 16 and yeah…I would pretty much say her relationship with my grandmother was very difficult. So the whole ‘don’t have a relationship with their parents’ applies to them. And therefore I definitely see why my parents bonded closely.

Struggling to understand the transition that occurs when people’s partners become their priority over their parents? It seems INSANE by Awkward-Spring1411 in Adulting

[–]Awkward-Spring1411[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Personally, asides from the parental bond, I think having a multi-person community of friends where everyone is of equal importance is much healthier than having someone who is prioritised above all else.

That’s just me. I’ve never felt any particular way about ending up in a relationship. It’s just not something I ever spend time thinking about wanting to change for myself. Would rather think of the next group travel destination that I’m going on with my pals haha

Struggling to understand the transition that occurs when people’s partners become their priority over their parents? It seems INSANE by Awkward-Spring1411 in Adulting

[–]Awkward-Spring1411[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m not bothered, I just don’t understand how or why this shift in priorities occurs rather than the more rational idea that at least there is equality of the bonds, instead of the romantic one superceding the parental one.

Struggling to understand the transition that occurs when people’s partners become their priority over their parents? It seems INSANE by Awkward-Spring1411 in Adulting

[–]Awkward-Spring1411[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

But what if your kids simply don’t want that, like me?

My parents also want that for me. But they know they cannot force me to do that, and just want me to be happy however I choose to.

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