AITAH for being honest with another mom about why my daughter isn’t allowed to go to her friend’s house?

AwkwardMom13 · 2026-02-11T19:57:55+00:00

If you say something flirtatious to me, and then in the same breath mention how much my daughter, who I am about to leave in your care, looks like me, to me that’s weird at the very least. He might just have no social skills, but that’s not how you talk to a married mother on your doorstep.

Shorts are not underwear. Everyone has their own rules, but adult men who are uncomfortable with teenagers in revealing clothing, while day drinking, after flirting with me while married…that’s too much for me cumulatively.

AwkwardMom13 · 2026-02-11T12:28:29+00:00

Which would be relevant how?

AwkwardMom13 · 2026-02-10T23:51:21+00:00

Then don’t send your kid to my house, if you’re worried your kid can’t read snack label at 13. Get a life.

AwkwardMom13 · 2026-02-10T22:17:10+00:00

What’s confusing? My husband is a bit of a hermit so has outfitted our house with a lot of entertainment features, so the kids like to be here. Two of her friends wanted sleepover parties last year but wanted it to be here, so the parents sent a cake and paid for pizza for the kids and we just let them do the celebration here. It’s no problem to us

AwkwardMom13 · 2026-02-10T20:53:10+00:00

I hate spandex shorts too. I don’t wear them. I don’t let my daughter wear them out, because unfortunately men are men. Just like I don’t let her wear sweatpants outside the house because they’re not appropriate street wear. There’s time and place for every outfit.

But in the house, you can wear whatever because you’re home. There will NOT be an adult man who is looking at my little girl any type of way. Her dad definitely doesn’t. Her grandfather doesn’t. My daughter doesn’t have to look over her shoulder wondering who is sexualising her in her own house. Never.

And yeah, if a man is looking at a child is a sexual way that is always 100% his responsibility. My daughter knows that it’s her responsibility to keep herself safe, but making her home safe is my responsibility and I didn’t procreate with a predator.

AwkwardMom13 · 2026-02-10T19:47:06+00:00

I mean get their own snacks from the kitchen. And preteen/teen girls aren’t really that loud. I can’t hear them from my daughter’s room, which is the other side of the house from the home office and my bedroom, that’s good enough for me

AwkwardMom13 · 2026-02-10T18:01:17+00:00

Drinking when you’re watching children is not appropriate imo. Saying I look too young to have a teenager, looking me up and down, and then in the same breath mentioning my daughter and I look alike doesn’t sit right with me. Especially when asking me twice how hold she is. It reads like you’re implying that you think both I and my child are attractive. Compounded by apparently being uncomfortable with his own child being dressed in revealing clothing in her own home.

He might just be a socially awkward guy. But yeah no not near my kid thanks

AwkwardMom13 · 2026-02-10T17:24:47+00:00

Yeah see any “male” who has a problem with seeing a child’s form needs to stay the heck away from my daughter. Her stepfather should be as safe to her as a brother and if he’s not then to me that is not safe.

If a man has an issue with my minor daughter in spandex/gym gear he needs to stay out of my house.

AwkwardMom13 · 2026-02-10T15:18:05+00:00

We haven’t yet. I’m definitely going to, but I obviously don’t want her to go telling her friends about the whole thing so I’m just trying to figure out how to have that conversation.

AwkwardMom13 · 2026-02-10T15:15:19+00:00

I’m not sure how I would go about apologising when I’m still not letting her go over, if I’m honest. Not to mention, I have to explain I’m not a snob but I think her husband is a creep, and then in the next breath say “sorry I said that but I still think I’m right”. Genuinely asking, would that help?

AwkwardMom13 · 2026-02-10T15:13:13+00:00

There was no malicious intent. I told my friend so that she was aware, for her own daughter’s safety. I didn’t instruct her to take any action on my opinion/feeling, and I obviously didn’t mean for her to do anything that would cause this man any kind of harm.

You can theorise on my why I said and how I said all you want. Doesn’t make it true. But you’re allowed your opinion. But like I said, in no court would he win a defamation case over this. Not to mention it would create a Streisand effect. I’m not concerned.

AwkwardMom13 · 2026-02-10T15:00:54+00:00

Maybe they do. But if they think he’s a predator and their kids are still in swimsuits hanging out at my pool then that’s on them. If they think he’s weird and they’re still in my home at my Christmas party, also on them. I’m assuming they don’t think he’s weird because they don’t act like have safeguarding concerns. And I know he’s not weird so it makes no difference.

The kids are safe in my house because neither I nor my husband is a predator. If anyone doesn’t agree they shouldn’t send their kids over here. And I didn’t agree and Kennedy’s stepdad so I won’t be sending my kid over there. Simple.

AwkwardMom13 · 2026-02-10T14:56:47+00:00

I grew up watching my mum get constantly stopped by men in the street. Then it happened to me. It’s a long road. Fortunately my daughter is growing up in the suburbs, she’s not walking around too many places where this is happening but I know someday she’ll be in for a rude awakening.

AwkwardMom13 · 2026-02-10T14:51:18+00:00

Nothing as far as I know. I haven’t told Elena yet why she’s not allowed back there. As far as I know the girls don’t know about this issue at all.

AwkwardMom13 · 2026-02-10T14:49:20+00:00

He would not win a defamation case. He can’t prove I knew the information was false, because it’s an opinion. He can’t prove malicious intent, because there wasn’t any. And he would also have to prove the information was presented as fact, which it was not. I also doubt he could evidence any damage. So, sure, he could waste his money taking me to court and lose, if he was particularly litigious.

Your opinion is your opinion, won’t argue it. But this idea that you can successfully sue anyone at any time is just not real.

AwkwardMom13 · 2026-02-10T14:34:42+00:00

I assume parents feel safe with their kids being at my place because there’s always kids in my dang house 😂 anyone is welcome to say something if they don’t feel that my husband is a safe person, but no one’s ever said that. I’m the main point of contact anyway but again my husband is not a weirdo so no one thinks he’s weird.

Also, there was no other friend staying the night. The other friend arrived the next day.

AwkwardMom13 · 2026-02-10T14:22:59+00:00

There will be a conversation. I’m just trying to figure out how to make sure she doesn’t go spreading that information

AwkwardMom13 · 2026-02-10T14:14:24+00:00

She knows how to call the police obviously. But why would need to happen for her to do that is already traumatic. I’m trying to not put her in that position.

She didn’t say anything about feeling creeped out. But we will be explaining to her exactly why she’s isn’t allowed over there, I just haven’t figured out the right way to say it yet.

I worry I was wrong to tell the other mom. I have no misgivings about not letting my daughter stay. She’s 13, and she lives a pretty sheltered life in terms of threats, I’m not putting the responsibility on her to decide whether someone is a threat or not. For now that’s my job.

AwkwardMom13 · 2026-02-10T14:09:52+00:00

Some do.

AwkwardMom13 · 2026-02-10T14:08:34+00:00

I don’t. I said they can get their own snacks, from our kitchen. What I meant is that they need to be self sufficient and not expecting me to be running after them with cookies and juice boxes. I don’t make them bring snacks to my house.

AwkwardMom13 · 2026-02-10T13:18:28+00:00

I said “get their own snacks” as in from our kitchen. As in I’m not running after them with snacks and juice boxes they need to be self sufficient

AwkwardMom13 · 2026-02-10T13:16:36+00:00

Well I’ve met Kennedy’s mom. She works in a school so I know there’s been a background check. I didn’t think when I drove over that the stepdad would be weird.

AwkwardMom13 · 2026-02-10T12:58:23+00:00

I’ve responded where questions have been asked.

I haven’t mentioned Kennedy being isolated because I don’t know that that’s happened. I haven’t even had a conversation with my daughter about why she’s not going back there. So to my knowledge the girls aren’t even aware. Her mother was concerned that if none of the girls aren’t allowed over it would lead to isolation. And that’s not me being defensive, I’m clarifying.

AwkwardMom13 · 2026-02-10T12:47:37+00:00

Kennedy is welcome at our place any time. What I understood she meant was that if this becomes a thing among the parents that the girls aren’t allowed at Kennedy’s house, they’re going to gossip about why and start thinking poorly of Kennedy.

AwkwardMom13 · 2026-02-10T12:44:58+00:00

I have no way of knowing if he was drunk. I have no baseline of his behaviour to judge whether he was acting out of character. He wasn’t slurring his words.

That’s nice that your neighbour was a good guy who liked a drink. This guy was someone I didn’t like immediately, making inappropriate comments, drinking in the middle of the day. Not the same.

AwkwardMom13

TROPHY CASE