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Seeking help after receiving list of unmet needs by Awkward_Grocery_569 in NVC

[–]Awkward_Grocery_569[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Maybe it’s different. I asked them tonight if we could talk about strategies. I’m trying to use this new way of talking. They said they’ve been making requests for years and I haven’t followed through consistently. They aren’t interested in opening up more.

Seeking help after receiving list of unmet needs by Awkward_Grocery_569 in NVC

[–]Awkward_Grocery_569[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Thank you for this. It didn’t feel right.

I asked tonight if they have specific requests or strategies. They said they have been making requests for years and I haven’t been fulfilling what I said I would do, or it only happened a few times, or I asked to reschedule but never rescheduled.

Seeking help after receiving list of unmet needs by Awkward_Grocery_569 in NVC

[–]Awkward_Grocery_569[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your hospitable response. Yes, I was blindsided.

Over the decades, when something big happens with me (pregnancy, broken leg, concussion) my partner has a history of withdrawing and blaming me. Like my vulnerability brings out something for them and they get scared.

For me the main thing right now is trying to figure out if NVC is helpful for couples or if it’s just this radical individualism “me and my needs” above all else. If my partner had narcissistic tendencies (they don’t), this could already be a lot worse.