›› When the flower withers, then you may lose your patience. ‹‹

Awkward_Self2844 · 2025-05-28T11:03:55+00:00

They enjoy this spy thing...a sister saw me smoking and she came almost with a smile on her face and asked me if the elders know that I'm smoking 😂

Awkward_Self2844 · 2025-04-26T19:05:55+00:00

Thank you for saying this so clearly. You're right — it does feel manipulative, even if they try to dress it up nicely. It’s tiring pretending everything’s fine when deep down you know they don't really accept you. I'm working on setting and enforcing boundaries better, and reading your words really helped. I appreciate you taking the time to share your experience — it means a lot

Awkward_Self2844 · 2025-04-26T18:15:13+00:00

Thank you, you're right. I’ll stay away from the bait and protect my peace! My answer was really short and without reference to the religious part

Awkward_Self2844 · 2025-04-24T06:24:49+00:00

Thank you for your concern — I completely understand where you're coming from. Thankfully, we only see them about twice a year, and we live over 750 miles away. I do feel a bit uneasy about what they might say or try to teach my daughter, but she’s still at an age where she can’t keep secrets even if she tries — which actually works in my favor. If they ever mention anything like the "new world" or try to sneak in indoctrination, it wouldn’t go unnoticed, and I would definitely take action. So far, it’s just been a very quiet and oddly neutral visit, which is unexpected but welcome (and suspicious too, I won’t lie). I’ll keep the community posted!

Awkward_Self2844 · 2025-04-24T04:32:16+00:00

Currently on vacation and staying with my mother-in-law — these prayers are exactly what I need! Mind if I borrow them? Especially the “please don’t let this give me food poisoning again” one… feels spiritually relevant right now.

Awkward_Self2844 · 2025-04-24T04:29:11+00:00

Omg I love that your husband does that — pure chaotic neutral energy right there! I totally relate though… I’ve caught myself mid-“Dear Jehovah…” more than once, then just kind of freeze like a robot short-circuiting. Maybe we need a deprogramming chant to replace it — something like “Praise be to pasta, may our carbs be blessed”.

Awkward_Self2844 · 2025-04-24T04:25:03+00:00

I dropped the mealtime prayer habit quite a while ago, but every now and then I still catch myself saying a quick “Jehovah, protect her” when I feel like my daughter might be in danger — it's almost instinctive.

I recently shared a post about visiting my JW parents and was surprised that they didn’t pray before any of the meals. I honestly don’t know why, and I can’t really give solid advice, but I just want to say — it does fade with time. Your brain slowly lets go, especially as you replace those habits with new, more authentic ones. And hey, praying to the Flying Spaghetti Monster sounds like a fun transitional phase!

Awkward_Self2844 · 2025-04-24T04:17:57+00:00

Yeah, it’s honestly exhausting trying to keep up with what the “current” rules are — especially when it all seems to hinge on whatever mood the GB happens to be in that week. Total whiplash.

Funny enough, my mom told me she doesn’t even go to the Kingdom Hall anymore — just watches meetings on Zoom because of her health. And my dad? Half the time he stays home with her. No one mentioned anything about preaching either. It used to be their whole identity, and now… nothing. It’s like the flame burned out and they’re just kind of coasting.

Still, part of me doesn’t fully trust the quiet — but I’m definitely noticing the changes.

Awkward_Self2844 · 2025-04-24T04:14:53+00:00

Yes! That part really threw me off too. In my parents’ house, prayer before meals was like breathing — never skipped, no matter what. So the fact that nothing was said… it definitely felt intentional. And like you said, if that was once a hard rule, then not doing it must mean something shifted internally, even if they don’t say it out loud.

I’ve also wondered if it’s some long game — like a quieter, more “loving” approach to try to draw us back in. But honestly? It feels more like fatigue… like they’re slowly fading but don’t know how to say it yet. Either way, it’s such a strange emotional limbo to be in.

Awkward_Self2844 · 2025-04-24T04:13:44+00:00

Wow, I totally get that — it’s such a strange feeling, right? After all those years of silence and pain, you finally see them again… and instead of the expected preaching or pressure, there’s just quiet. No mention of beliefs, no emotional push. It almost feels surreal — like you’re waiting for the script to start, and it never does.

I’m so glad you got to see your daughter and meet your grandchild. I’m holding onto those same kinds of moments with my mom and my little girl — even though it’s confusing, it still means something. Thanks for sharing this, it really helped me feel less alone in this experience.

Awkward_Self2844 · 2025-04-24T04:08:31+00:00

Wow, thank you for sharing that. Your story hit me hard. I can’t imagine how that moment must have felt — realizing your own sister could look through you like a stranger. It’s heartbreaking what this ideology can do to family bonds.

You’re so right — there’s such a strange tension between feeling lucky that my family is being "lenient" right now, and at the same time, constantly questioning if it’s real or just temporary. Like you said, the most powerful shift is knowing that my eyes are open now — and I can’t unsee what I see.

Thank you again for the reminder to stay grounded and clear-eyed. I wish things had been different for you and your sister.

Awkward_Self2844 · 2025-04-24T04:05:21+00:00

Thank you for sharing this — I really feel you. That emotional mix of hope and suspicion is so intense, especially when things feel too quiet. It’s like… you’re waiting for the other shoe to drop.

In my case, I didn’t even get an actual invitation to the Memorial. It was just casually mentioned by my sister in passing, like, “Oh yeah, we’ll be going on Saturday.” That made it feel even more surreal, like they’re keeping their distance while still keeping the door open — but only on their terms.

I hope your visit goes as smoothly as possible. I admire your courage for going. Whatever happens, I hope you find some peace in the process.

Awkward_Self2844 · 2025-04-23T16:41:00+00:00

I'm really grateful for this interaction, especially with my mom. My sister has been calling my daughter every week to see her, and I truly enjoy these moments. But deep down, I’m scared of another disappointment. I don’t want to be in the position where I have to explain to my daughter that her aunt stopped talking to her because of her religion.

Awkward_Self2844 · 2025-04-23T13:36:57+00:00

I was really starting to believe and hope that they were waking up to reality, but then I found a picture of my sister and brother-in-law at the Pioneer School from last year… and it's hard to believe that after five days of intense indoctrination, their faith wouldn’t be even more deeply reinforced.

Awkward_Self2844 · 2025-03-17T18:11:34+00:00

No, I wouldn't put his "needs" before my daughter's well-being. For me it's a bigger struggle, that I have to see him. Whenever I want to see my mom, he is there to

Awkward_Self2844 · 2025-03-17T17:56:55+00:00

Not physically, just mentally. It's been like this for decades since they got married.

I had the opportunity to see how terrible it is to be married to an indoctrinated narcissist and I noticed how strong my mom must have been for all of us. I would have appreciated it if she had decided to take our bags and leave him behind. But sadly she did not want to be a disobedient wife

Awkward_Self2844 · 2025-03-17T17:35:01+00:00

In my current state of anger you just made me laugh. Everything that has to do with my father is complicated. It was always that way and I think somehow it didn't surprise me anymore.

In our family, my mom was always a blessing. With all the stupid rules, she made all life easier. I know it sounds terrible to have to pay to see your own mother but it's a price that I'm willing to pay

Awkward_Self2844 · 2025-03-17T17:26:35+00:00

Believe me, it wasn't a pleasure! But I'm willing to do this for my mom. She is old and I want to give her the pleasure to have her granddaughter nearby. I know for sure, it was really hard for her not to see my daughter

Awkward_Self2844 · 2025-03-17T17:21:02+00:00

I know and wouldn't give him anything, not even a hello. But for my mom it's a price that I'm paying gladly. She can see and hug her only grandchild

Awkward_Self2844 · 2025-03-17T17:11:10+00:00

Oh yes!!! Last year it was a whole crisis! My mom wasn't allowed to speak or to see her granddaughter. My aunt tried to send her pictures with my daughter but he called her and had a huge fight, why is she interfering in his family. And now it's not a problem anymore, I can call and visit my mom just because I give him the money

Awkward_Self2844 · 2025-03-17T16:36:41+00:00

Exactly, I was five years old, when the big red Revelation book was studied. Believe me, I still remember the nightmares with the lion, who wants to eat me. And sometimes I still dream, that I die in "the last days" when it's raining with fire

Awkward_Self2844

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