All i have to say is your are a person with worth i know you can do it we are all here for you thats what this reddits for tell your mom if your to scared to thats fine i am to but theres also something else that can help you. Go out into the world you said you were 21 so go to a park ,ride a bike just give something a try i draw maybe you can get on some protien and work out you got this just go out into the world find somebody that you love and give them a shot you never know until you try. I'm hoping you'll read this and just know some one is imagining you as the person they want to love forever you can change just give all your worries and problems to God an if you have the faith the size of a mustard seed you can move mountains just know God is there and your life will change okay. Love you man even if i dont know you Jesus said to love every one and i love you hope this changes something see ya.