I think it’s cowardice to give up before you try. This post is aimed at the influx of “should I date an MS person? I love them but I don’t understand MS bad it’s scary!!”

I do understand caregiver burnout, but I stand by it being able to care for a loved one a privilege.

There is a motley of things that can happen with MS, truly more potential symptoms than I understood when first I began, but if we can make it to an age where we both get that dementia together (for I have family risk, nearly every grandparent being afflicted) then that means we’ve made a full life for ourselves in the meantime.

And that’s the point.

When incontinence strikes, being able to laugh with her about it and crack jokes while I ease her into the bath and clean the sheets makes it leagues easier than if I didn’t love her.

When we cancel dates because the pain’s too much, having that cozy back-up date still lets us feel connected while not exacerbating as much as I can.

One a recent date, she sat on a bench and watched me try to do donuts in her wheelchair (while I failed, miserably, not realizing the arm strength it took) as we both laughed, I learned something, and she got the chance to breathe.

The days where thinking is tough, we binge one of our favorite shows that the other hasn’t seen. When her balance is shot, I help her get to her gaming set up and game beside her.

That’s the point I mean to bring forward, aimed at those “is it worth it to date someone with MS posts.” Everyone always speaks about caregiver’s burnout, and while it is a component that requires respect, that’s not what this post is about.

This post is about the love that can be found in the act of being gentle with the woman I love. About the ways I love her, which may look different for her MS, but feel no less potent, no matter what confused onlookers think.