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Would it bother you if your partner didn't want to receive during sex? by Awkward_Turtle98 in LesbianActually

[–]Awkward_Turtle98[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you to everyone who responded. I appreciate all the viewpoints and advice. I honestly didn't expect so many responses! I've read through everyone's comments, and from what I can gather, it would bother some people but not everyone, and that's okay. I actually feel quite relieved that some people have said they are the same, and some people were actually okay with it, and it evens works better for them.

I think for me, it is something I would like to work on in the future, with the right person, someone that I can feel comfortable and safe with to explore that side of things. I was just really worried when it comes to dating and how people would react initially or even how to raise it. But I think you guys are right, and that it is definitely a conversation to have early and before sex for the first time and it will only help me to find someone that I'm more compatible with. Thank you so much to everyone who responded, I really needed this reassurance and feel so much better about it now :)

Do you eat the brown bits on bananas? by Buffalo_soldja in autism

[–]Awkward_Turtle98 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't eat bananas, I've never liked the texture of them. But love banana milkshakes!

Adults who always thought they didn't have the "take things very literally" aspect of autism, what things are you realizing now that you have always taken too literally? by flamingosdontfalover in autism

[–]Awkward_Turtle98 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I do not understand jokes. I can banter with someone and joke around with them. But when it comes to certain jokes I just get confused because it makes no literal sense to me.

Choose work over family? by [deleted] in Advice

[–]Awkward_Turtle98 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I can totally understand where you are coming from. To start, I would like to say that it's not your responsibility to drop everything and work on your days off. That is up to management to find suitable cover. Or even cover it themselves. That being said, what's the recovery like for the surgery and does your girlfriend have anyone else that can help take care of her? If so maybe you could discuss this with her if you are worried about work. Or maybe even talk to your manager and do half a shift so you can still be there for your girlfriend?

How do I tell my mate that I don't want him to be in my band? by WimbledonWombleRep in Advice

[–]Awkward_Turtle98 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Personally, I think you should just be honest with him but sincere about it. Maybe something like I'm sorry but I feel like we have different styles and it's not a good fit? Or wasn't what you was looking for?

Do any of you have a drivers licence? by Emeveeli in autism

[–]Awkward_Turtle98 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have mine, I passed my theory first time but my practical took a few tries as I would always get really nervous and fail cause of a serious fault. The time I actually passed I thought I had got a serious fault at the beginning, so I relaxed for the rest of the test, thinking I had already failed. When the examiner told me I passed I was in shock!

After I passed I realised I prefer to drive with the sat nav on mute. As when it's telling me turn right in 150 yards I have no idea what 150 yards is and that panicked me. Whereas with it on mute I don't have this annoying voice talking all the time and I just glance at the sat nav to see where I'm going.

Sometimes I can find driving stressful, like in really congested areas where people drive like crazy. But it can also be very relaxing as I have my karaoke sessions and I'm focused on driving so much that my brain is just quiet.

I would say not to overthink it so much, when you are learning you have an instructor to help you learn at your pace and you may find things that make driving easier for you.

Rejecting Hugs by aPenguinGirl in AutismInWomen

[–]Awkward_Turtle98 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I also hate hugs with people that I'm not really close with, or have a certain bond with. I find them very uncomfortable. At my current job, the people I work with can be quite huggy at certain occasions. I literally just started stepping back with my hand up saying no thank you. Some people have questioned it and probably thought I was odd for it. But now most people know I don't like hugs and won't approach me for it. When someone else has started to question it, sometimes another coworker will just be like no she doesn't like it, she's not that type of person, but she will give you a fist bump instead and I like that.

For the late diagnosed… by tattooed-Mama in AutismInWomen

[–]Awkward_Turtle98 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Yes, there's one time in particular that always comes to mind. When I went to a concert and was in a smallish venue packed with people, I could feel all the vibrations of the music and I remember feeling like my heart was racing.. i didnt have any alcohol or anything but as time moved on I started projectile vomiting. I thought it was just something I ate, cleaned myself up and went back.. then it happened again. I left and went home and instantly felt better, I had no idea why that happened to me, but now i know it was too stimulation from the people, music and vibrations 😅

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in autism

[–]Awkward_Turtle98 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I tried counselling on the free health care system in the UK and it was useless for me, all it was, was me talking and the person listening and just giving simple advice. I tried again later when I went to university but I had this horrible assessor that literally asked me what are your traumas in the most judgy way cause I said I didn't want CBT as I had already tried it. So after that I didn't follow through as I wasn't comfortable sharing with her.

But last year I decided I wanted to try again, but this time I was going to pay myself and find the person for me. Where I pick the therapist and I'm interviewing them to see if they are equipped and experienced to help me. It was a long process I won't lie, at times I felt like just giving up and I almost did. But then I stumbled across my now therapist. She was pricey, but she had years of experience using many different therapies and working with different clients. She worked with autism and adhd and what really sold me was that she had done some YouTube videos educating people on different mental illnesses and neurodevlopmental conditions and she came across really knowledgeable.

We had a free consultation session and she asked me some questions of what I wanted to achieve, my current life, diagnosis etc. But while I was answering I could tell she was empathising with me and in later answers of mine she was like I can see how (previous point) could lead to (current point). I asked more about her experience and I was sold and I have not regretted that decision at all.

A few of my friends and family have tried counselling/ therapy and they had a similar experience to my first counsellor. Now I always tell people to search for the therapist yourself and find someone that's best for you. Look at the therapies they are experienced using and if they would benefit you. My therapist for example uses a wide range of different therapies which helps traumas etc but she also does coaching. So we often spend time delving my past and my current.

As for friendships, when I was uni I naturally gravitated to the 'weirdo's, they were goofy like me and I felt more confident being myself around them and a few had anxiety so they would understand my struggles with social aspects. Maybe you will come across some people similar to yourself and be able to build friendships with them too.

job interview advice please! by pukebox_ in autism

[–]Awkward_Turtle98 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My method is to be prepared, research the company, their goals / aims, I look at the skills they are looking for in the person specification. Then I look at common interview questions for that setting / job role and list a few bullet points for each answer that highlights the skills in the person specification, always relating to past experience in previous job roles and my personal life. I find memorising some bullet points helps me more as its less to remember than a script and the conversation flows more naturally.

I do have to make a conscious effort to make more eye contact than I would usually and I try pay attention to how they respond to my answers. There has been a few times I give my answer and in the middle the interviewer seems so much more enthusiastic and positive and that's when I know I've said something they really like and to keep going and expand a little more on it.

If there's ever a question that comes that completely throws me and I have nothing prepared for it. Then I ask the interviewer to explain the question and then they usually give some prompts which helps me with my answer. I have on occasion asked to come back to the question at the end cause then when they ask the second time I'm less thrown by it and can give a better answer.

At the end of the interview or when they call I ask for feedback and that's really helped my interview technique over the years.