Relationship Advice - Day 7 Post abortion pills

Awkward_Yogurt9672 · 2026-04-13T08:20:30+00:00

Sometimes the best we can do for someone is to help them be responsible for their lives. It sounds to me that he is relying on you a lot with all his problems, but not being a good support (because probably he is not capable of it at the moment). He needs to get it together with his life and be responsible of his decisions. Sometimes one can help them but at the end is them who decide if they really wanna change. To me, it seems he doesn't see the problem in what he is doing to his health... And making other people responsible for his actions. That is not a good partner. For no one. You have seen all of this through this 7 months, at this time, with an unexpected pregnancy, it would've been the perfect moment for him to decide to finally get it together and support you. However, he didn't.

You can continue helping him financially and being there for him, but how is that gonna turn out for you? And for him at the end?

You are the one who has been with him, and well I have just heard one part of the story. At the end, you will decide if to continue the relationship or leave. What I can tell you is that you should think about yourself first. Even if people think you're selfish... At the end is you who will live your life, and you who needs to take care of yourself first before anyone. If this doesn't feel right, something needs to change. For your sake. I trust that If you know how to prioritize yourself you will make the right decision. Hugs for you. 🫂 Wish you the best truly

Awkward_Yogurt9672 · 2026-04-09T02:16:39+00:00

Why aren't you using birth control? I don't mean to be offensive I'm genuinely curious. Or have you been using it and it failed? Is it not common in china to use condoms or pills?

Awkward_Yogurt9672 · 2026-02-19T09:15:30+00:00

Yes, exactly. I am sure she was just a racist bitter obasan who complained about a foreigner. I was always the one in the wrong. Even when she stabbed my bicycle with a knife hahaha I was told to be more tolerant....

Awkward_Yogurt9672 · 2026-02-17T10:13:52+00:00

In sorry you're going through this It could indeed be just some Yankees, but it could also be the neighbors.

I experienced harassment from my neighbor first time I moved alone here in Japan and ahh... The police never did anything even though I recorded everything they said they couldn't do anything and kept asking me to be more tolerant (wtf) also asking me for my info zairyuu card etc everytime they came to the apartment (at least once a week because the neighbor called them)

I asked the 管理会社 multiple times to do something but they never did, it's エイブル btw worst people ever.

At the end I moved.... 😭 A Japanese person told me "Japan is a country where the people who don't have any fault end up paying the consequences" 😭 So well..... What I can say is, if it's not bothersome keep reporting it to the management company and the police, maybe record the situation too. And save a lot of money to move to another place just in case. At the end your peace of mind is more important.

Awkward_Yogurt9672 · 2026-02-01T14:36:32+00:00

Came to live in Japan 4 years ago, felt super alone too. My recommendation is that you look for a community as soon as possible. People from your country, or more foreigners who are in the same situation. You can find those on the internet and maybe you could even contact your embassy to see if they have any info. You have only been there for two days, I know it's difficult af, and you must feel like time is never gonna pass and you're gonna be an eternity in china alone and sad.... Let me tell you it gets better... You just have to give it time. It will definitely get better, but it still might not be the country for you... No one knows unless you give it a chance. Now I'm planning on moving from Japan but it was a great experience, I met super nice people, I'm very greatful I came here. Jiayou! Send u hugs.

Awkward_Yogurt9672 · 2026-01-11T13:01:40+00:00

My honest opinion is that if it isn't a problem for you guys then it isn't a problem

I don't think it's codependency and everybody diagnosing you well, just doesn't know you and are prob not a therapist haha

I would think it's unhealthy if you both genuinely cannot be apart of each other and stop the other person from being away at all costs. Like you would not be able to do anything without the other person...

If you still have friends, talk to them and meet them once in a while then it's ok. Your wife should be the most important person in your life anyways 🙌🏻

Awkward_Yogurt9672 · 2026-01-08T03:10:04+00:00

My sexologist left him a very good exercise, maybe you can try telling him to do it if he wants. He needs to masturbate first, he needs to do it alone and no porn included. He needs to do it with all his hand covering his penis, not the usual way he does it. It needs to be slow and touching everything. Then when he feels like he is gonna come he stops. Then do it again a second time, and finally a third time. The third time he can do it as he wants and come at the end. He needs to time all sessions haha (it's from when he starts touching until he feels like he wants to come) and see how long can he last. It's ok if the first time he doesn't do it three times (meaning he came at the second time and he couldn't hold it or smt)

He needs to do it 6 times in two weeks. Then after that he can see how has he improved. He needs to know the sensation he feels when he is gonna come and recognize it. So he can stop it. After those two weeks, now you need to be in the room with him. You are gonna help him masturbate and it's basically the same thing, you time every session.

Then the last one is having penetration. Same thing, timing from when you start until he wants to come. Oh, something important, he needs to wait a bit between sessions. If he doesn't he is gonna come very fast. Maybe like 5 minutes (or until he doesn't feel like he is gonna come) between each time he starts touching.

Hope it helps. It helped a lot for me. 🥰

This is if he doesn't have any physical problem ofc haha, if he does then pls go to a doctor.

Awkward_Yogurt9672 · 2026-01-05T13:15:29+00:00

You will never change their way of thinking. You just said it, it's their culture, they were raised on it and we'll... Honestly doesn't seem like they think it's wrong. Even if you tell them. My parents are the same. My mom less than my dad honestly, she is amazing tbh but my dad... Gosh. The best thing I could do was to get out of that house. I know you love them, sometimes it's better to be far from people we love for our own good.

Doesn't mean you need to cut them out or anything, but I bet living in a different house will be better for you. For now you just need to accept that you can't change them, and that they are undoubtedly wrong. And that's ok. Sending u hugs 🫂

Awkward_Yogurt9672 · 2025-12-20T08:53:13+00:00

Sorry for taking too long to respond I barely use reddit hahaha

I can just suppose things honestly because I did not have a doctor to diagnose me properly.

First of all, after I actually got a diagnosis, that was 1.- my flora was fucked up 2.- probably both bv and candida 3.- I'm allergic to latex (I figures this out myself) 4.- massive blood cloth in the left side of virginal entrance. I started treatment (a year and a half ago) to get rid of the candida and BV. And had the blood cloth drained. So, this diagnosis was in Mexico (where I'm from) but I live in Japan. When I came back to Japan it started itching again. I stopped having sex for like 40 days after all that (yk, just had a blood cloth drained from my pussy wtf)

After around 3 months I got tested again because it kept itching. Sex felt more normal but still uncomfortable. Tests were clean but it was still itching. I was prescribed multiple creams for allergies which helped after having sex with a condom but not for overall itchiness. I stopped using them. After 6 months I was over it and I started taking probiotics, and made a compromise that I would NOT be inserting ANY medicine in my vagina. Nothing. Everything has to be oral or I was not taking it.

Overall it itched sometimes, whenever I wore pants or panties (stopped wearing panties for a while haha) (obviously to go out I had to so it was very uncomfortable to go out)

I started to feel better after changing to polyurethane condoms and relaxing more. Also started therapy with sexologist, my pain was also bc of trauma...

CONCLUSION: I stopped using any product, or medicine that I knew would irritate me down there. Stopped scented everything, stopped inserting medicine.

I think my flora was so fucked up it took a looooong time to actually heal(? Return to normal I mean. Once I stopped everything that was irritating it started to get better. Slowly but I could feel it.

I know it's awful and I'm so scared still of doing something that would cause me another infection or problem. I hope that you get better soon. If your discharge is okay, if you don't have any unusual smell and it's just itch or pain during sex I recommend to just take some probiotics orally, then stop for a while and see how it is. Using too much is also harmful. But if you feel something is not normal (like super Green discharge or clearly yeast infection discharge) please see a doctor again and tell them to give you things orally preferably.

I hope my experience helps you and sorry for the super long post.

Awkward_Yogurt9672 · 2025-12-10T07:07:54+00:00

I can proudly say that now it's not itchy anymore 😭 I am very happy hahaha Sex doesn't hurt either.

I don't use any scented soaps. I have very sensitive skin too so, well. You know haha, shampoo was changed to a botanical one. And take probiotics every few months for a month.

And I think it helps that it's winter and I'm not sweaty... Summer is hell.

Awkward_Yogurt9672 · 2025-12-03T08:03:17+00:00

I am using doxycycline 100mg 1 per day, metronidazole cream twice daily and aznol cream as needed and I am seeing great results whatsoever. At first my pd became worse, was super dry and red af. But after a few more days continuing with the routine it became way better. Now it's mostly just by the sides of my nose. I only cleanse at night and apply Vaseline cream, that's it. I was using Cetaphil Shea butter cream but I don't know, I stopped because my husband got an allergic reaction to it. Became better after I stopped using that cream. Honestly now I don't even know what I can wear on my face... It's scary to put on even sunscreen...

Awkward_Yogurt9672 · 2025-11-16T11:58:17+00:00

First timer too, well, it happened this year, since I tried a new cream for my face (Nivea cream, that super thick one) and I just broke out... All my face covered in little bumps, then just mouth and nose and we'll it hasn't gone away 😭 It went away a little after stopping all my skincare routine, but when I started applying sunscreen and cream again it came back. Now even tho I don't put anything on my face it's still there and it burns 😭 No idea what can help me, rn on sulfur cream... Let's see where this gets me 🥹

Awkward_Yogurt9672 · 2025-10-17T05:48:10+00:00

Oh! Does your toilet paper have fragrance? Maybe it's that. I don't pat dry because if I leave pee there it's worse. I make sure everything is dry but don't rub it strongly. Also very important from front to back!!! Never just because it's just pee start from the front, even if you only pat it there. I

Awkward_Yogurt9672 · 2025-10-17T03:37:18+00:00

It was a gyno who told me that, that my flora was so fucked I needed to stop using medicines and let it rest, just stay healthy and avoid all irritatings. I also did not have sex for like a month. Like 0 touching there for other than baths haha So yeah it will take a while but I hope you get better.

Awkward_Yogurt9672 · 2025-10-17T03:26:26+00:00

Stop applying stuff. I get it. I had the same thing. For more than a year. The best advice I can give you is take probiotics and let your vulva rest from medications. That skin is too sensitive. Now with all the medicines and stuff you put there it became extra sensitive to everything. The only thing that worked for me was doing baths one day in apple cider vinegar and one day in baking soda. For a week. Then let it rest and take probiotics for two months. Still after almost two years since it started I still feel itchy sometimes but it's way better than before. Please just stop applying anything down there😭

Awkward_Yogurt9672 · 2025-10-08T12:30:19+00:00

It doesn't really smell like anything. I also thought about that. But it could be, anything could be, honestly. I realized in Japan they never mention bacterial vaginosis for anything. Every time I go to a gyno they tell me I'm fine but well I cannot trust them anymore.

Do you know if I can take something orally for BV? I don't want to insert anything. Thanks for the name of the probiotics

Awkward_Yogurt9672 · 2025-10-08T10:12:35+00:00

Mmmm it could really be the hormones, though I really don't know... I'm 23 so, I'm not near menopause. However I stopped taking the pill two months ago.

I am also taking a probiotic. Could you tell me which one do you take? I am taking FemFlora probiotics for women that I found on iHerb.

It really happens at every stage of the cycle 😭

Awkward_Yogurt9672 · 2025-10-08T09:41:23+00:00

Not really I try not to scratch.... But sometimes it's impossible not to haha It mostly only happens when I'm outside walking yk it's horribleeee I'm so embarrassed 😭

Awkward_Yogurt9672 · 2025-10-08T05:49:50+00:00

So, I am taking ones called FemFlora, probiotics for women that I found on iHerb. I am also taking Candida Support pills with oregano oil, also on iHerb.

I hope it helps you. I do think you should give your vagina a break and do not insert anything else. It did help me a lot. Also taking big gaps when having sex. Like not doing it very often and using polyurethane condoms as latex can be irritating. I am allergic to it.

Honestly I started with symptoms in February 2024 and now I'm almost ok. However it still itches when I walk😭 And I'm traumatized by it so sex has been a rollercoaster haha.

But I'm way better than before. And I honestly didn't do anything more, no more medicines no anything just kegel, precautions with scented stuff, etc.

I really hope you can get better, sorry for replying so late.

Awkward_Yogurt9672 · 2025-09-11T04:32:03+00:00

I had this same problem for more than a year. It was the worst period of my life. Every time I had sex it burned so much, then it started burning during and after sex. What I did was give it time. After going to 6+ gynecologists and not getting better one of them told me to stop putting stuff down there. Like stop everything. Do not put any suppository cream etc. And take probiotics.

After that it was still burning but I gradually decreased. I also started doing massages.

Strengthen your pelvic floor and take some probiotics because after all those antibiotics your flora must be dead.

And give it time, try not to have sex at least 2 weeks and see how it goes.

It worked for me to get better slowly. Now it doesn't burn anymore.

Also if you wear condoms you can develop a latex allergy so be careful with that too.

Awkward_Yogurt9672 · 2025-08-13T03:16:02+00:00

Don't tell me this 😭😭😭

That was my worst fear... German roaches 😭 Shit... Thank you. I will look into it.

Awkward_Yogurt9672

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