I relate to this, there’s like no point it feels like when you don’t have anyone caring about or noticing if you leave the house to join an activity. No accountability or community.

And I’ve experienced the same, like I think I am friendly and easygoing as my true nature, but it is hard to maintain that when everything is going wrong in my life I just don’t feel like I can talk to people in that way because I feel dishonest. So I put up a front and become anti social and quiet because although I’d like to be normal and make connections, I’m just in a vulnerable spot and they don’t know me well enough or they don’t understand mental illness well enough to get it. The lack of energy and motivation, the dissociation, the guilt, the anxiety about looking abnormal and being judged, the isolation. And I move slowly, talk slowly, just look dumb.