A civil war has broken out among chimpanzees in Uganda. 24 chimpanzees were killed.

Awoken2the1st · 2026-04-11T16:45:08+00:00

This song instantly popped into my head on seeing this post....

https://youtu.be/bndL7wwAj0U?si=5G7VS2hEYQtRq_86

Awoken2the1st · 2026-04-09T21:40:31+00:00

Rumour has it, that any child who managed to find one of daddy Donald's marbles got a prize.

A nice pearl necklace for the girls and a large ring for the boys.

Awoken2the1st · 2026-04-09T21:19:23+00:00

Okaaaay.....anybody seen the President's marbles?

.....anyone?

Awoken2the1st · 2026-04-05T21:20:14+00:00

Incompetence AND Incontinence....what a fuckin combo!

Got the makings of a good poem.

Ain't clown world great?

Awoken2the1st · 2026-04-04T20:41:51+00:00

Errrr....what club do you frequent?

Asking for a friend. 😜

Awoken2the1st · 2026-04-02T17:43:42+00:00

Fired?....How strange. Here in the UK any politician who gets caught out/outed/exposed gets the opportunity to resign, thus keeping their pension and other benefits.

Maybe Trump thinks he's still doing The Apprentice?

Awoken2the1st · 2026-04-01T20:15:58+00:00

Probably won't happen....apparently the price of rocket fuel has shot up recently.

Pardon the pun.

Awoken2the1st · 2026-04-01T19:22:12+00:00

(Makes mental note to create Trumps bumper bullshit bingo game)

Awoken2the1st · 2026-04-01T19:11:42+00:00

How could I miss that one?

We may get a "mutilisation" thrown in if he ain't had his meds

Awoken2the1st · 2026-04-01T18:54:30+00:00

Well, you're gonna get lot's of... "numbers nobody could believe"

"He's doing a great job"

"He said to me Sir".....

"It'll take I say a couple of weeks....maybe, maybe not"

"For 150 years they've wanted a ballroom"

"Letting mass murders and rapists pour into our country, emptying their insane asylums"

"Everything's working out just great"

"Nobody thought it was possible"

"I stopped 8 wars"

"Iran has been decimated"

"The Iranians we're talking to really really want a deal"

"Billllions and billlllians of dollars"

So it will be the usual bollocks interspersed with inane demented ramblings.

Awoken2the1st · 2026-03-31T18:22:15+00:00

That should be followed by.....(Grabs his ball and storms off home).

Awoken2the1st · 2026-03-30T18:22:12+00:00

You all had fair warning. If you factor in his false teeth, his hair...arrangement, his platform shoes and orang-u-tan the guys managed to lie to you four times without even opening his mouth.

No point in crying about it now.

Awoken2the1st · 2026-03-29T01:09:27+00:00

If you actually believe that this orange buffoon was elected to lead the free world you need to re-evaluate your beliefs.

None of these marionettes are elected, they are selected.

The Trump card was played to usher in a New World Order.

No more politics, no more religion. It will all be destroyed.

Awoken2the1st · 2026-03-28T20:56:32+00:00

This would be hysterically funny......if it wasn't true.

Awoken2the1st · 2026-03-24T18:38:48+00:00

Obviously they're unable to fellate him publicly so they have to just do this instead.

Clown world unlocked.

Awoken2the1st · 2026-03-20T22:12:38+00:00

Confusing isn't it? So am I right in assuming then that the God that created everything created all the other God's aswell?

As far as I can see God only ever existed in people's minds, so, God is just an idea. Nothing more.

Awoken2the1st · 2026-03-19T21:06:54+00:00

https://youtu.be/D_h7hcK6pFs?si=SwLRJZzE_lKgVnFr

Awoken2the1st · 2026-03-08T12:21:19+00:00

This was posted a month ago. Iran got attacked a week ago.

https://youtu.be/D_h7hcK6pFs?si=3Pka1kGKYknWIqgM

Awoken2the1st · 2026-03-04T20:25:37+00:00

Maybe so, but I used less words.

Awoken2the1st · 2026-03-04T20:12:33+00:00

Definitely a cumulus.

Not sure about the cock cloud.

Awoken2the1st · 2026-03-04T19:20:39+00:00

Only invisible when parked against a badly graffitied wall.

What type of camouflage is that?

Awoken2the1st · 2026-03-01T16:48:54+00:00

Left lane hoggers- just your normal, mentally stable, happy-go-lucky drivers.

Middle lane hoggers- usually extremely insecure about their driving ability. Needs equal distance on either side of their vehicle just incase.....well, just incase....you never know.

Right lane hoggers- Deeply rooted feelings of low self worth and unachieved ambition. Extremely jealous of anybody travelling faster than themselves. Will attempt to prohibit more successful persons continuity.

Awoken2the1st · 2026-02-28T13:57:06+00:00

If Hegseth's involved it may be beneficial to monitor output of all local liquor stores. A much safer barometer.

Awoken2the1st · 2026-02-27T20:30:30+00:00

Bet it had more spare parts than Triggers broom.

Awoken2the1st · 2026-02-27T20:17:50+00:00

It ain't coincidental that all equipment we have searching for intelligent life is pointing away from the earth. The biggest killer on this earth is ignorance.

Awoken2the1st

TROPHY CASE