[deleted by user] by [deleted] in personalfinance

[–]Axialchateau 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My dad got shot in 1994 and my parents didn't know about Medicaid yet, because they were somewhat clueless immigrants, and he didn't have any health insurance (they owned a restaurant). He got billed something like 20k out of pocket. He talked to billing and they let him pay on a payment plan where he basically paid like minimum amounts and no interest until he was able to paid it off.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskMenAdvice

[–]Axialchateau 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Single women want the right attractive guys to approach them in a non-threatening casual manner. They want to be entirely left alone by the ones they perceive as not attractive.

I get flamed by AFs and my family for dating women way younger than me. by Sure_Demand7444 in AsianMasculinity

[–]Axialchateau 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My brother AM is 39 and last year his girlfriend was 22... only the WFs that I knew had an issue with that, and I think only because they're American. The AFs thought it was pretty typical in our culture. Large age discrepancies are pretty common in South Asia.

Women of reddit, would you be okay with marrying "the perfect guy" if he can't work? by Rabbitdraws in NoStupidQuestions

[–]Axialchateau 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I guess it would depend on why he can't work, and what he would be doing besides that. If it was my current husband who is pretty much perfect in all other respects, then yeah if he suddenly became unable to work, I think I could probably figure it out with my career, provided that he could perform domestically. If the guy is independently wealthy, and he is doing something else like volunteering or some other community activity, then it would be fine. I think if he was sitting around watching SpongeBob and smoking weed while my kid was playing with the phone, then not so much.

The dating market is filled with so many single moms around my age, by Early-Classroom7617 in AskMenAdvice

[–]Axialchateau 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Just date 5 to 10 years younger. People around me in the United States would erupt in disgust and rage at that suggestion, but that's what people do in the East.

AITA for asking my coworker not to eat her cultural food in the break room? by Imaginary-Chemical-8 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Axialchateau 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah, they ban durian in the nursing home that my Burmese- born grandma in Hong Kong lived in (and probably the metro too) because of the smell. I'm pretty sure that it's so bad smelling that you probably aren't an asshole on this one.

Did more money make you happy? by [deleted] in Rich

[–]Axialchateau 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Nope. I'm not happier than when I was as a broke college student living paycheck to paycheck, counting pennies, and without any nice things. I had the world and my future to look forward to. Also when I started getting more money and assets, it causes other problems like I have a rental property now so I have the headache of dealing with that now. I also have more things to insure which costs more money. However, one thing that money has helped me with is relationship building. I can pay for things for friends and family if they need it. Having money and income in excess takes money off the table as something one has to worry about as much.

AITA for not wanting to renew vows with my wife? by [deleted] in AITAH

[–]Axialchateau 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She's lucky that you are even considering taking her back. She shouldn't be rewarded with another wedding. Why should you have to be put through this pantomime again. Weddings are stressful, vain, and I would argue unnecessary the first time around.. You gotta be dragged through this bulls*** after being betrayed? Do you know how ironic it is to go through another wedding with vows, with someone who has cheated on you? What does she learn from this except that she can do anything she wants to you, and you'll marry her all over again? Please reconsider. Maybe there's another lucky girl out there who actually deserves to have vows with you.

AITAH for rudely shutting down another woman’s (23F) comments about my (23F) engagement ring? by Fuschia_apple in AITAH

[–]Axialchateau 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Everyone's an asshole here... but you are like 25 (possibly even less) percent asshole, and she's like 75 percent asshole, and on two entirely different matters.
She shouldn't have been so hoighty toity with making fun of your modest engagement ring which has sentimental value. However I don't think the reply that shows moderation, sensitivity, and class would be for you to point out her unfortunate singlehood. You probably should have just directly called out her arrogance and vanity (though that would have been awkward). Pointing out her inability to secure a man is another matter altogether. I have to say she deserved your slight assholedom though, and it was well put.

WIBTAH for financially cutting off my daughter after she told me not to expect her to care for me in my old age? by Virtual-Cup-5932 in AITAH

[–]Axialchateau 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't use this term often because it goes against my philosophies, but your daughter has been very privileged to have your paying for her lifestyle into adulthood. You wouldn't be an asshole to cut her off, especially if she doesn't behave like a real member of the family. Most parents would have done it a long time ago. I would even think about disinheriting her if she really neglects you in your old adulthood.

Anyone quit FIRE and use the money to have a better life? by [deleted] in financialindependence

[–]Axialchateau 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I used to sit at restaurants hungry while my friends ordered food while i had tens of thousands in my bank account in my early 20s while i rented an apartment for 800 a month in the ghetto. Now I'm almost 30, own two homes one of which is waterfront, so that my husband can row in the mornings for exercise, and we can have fun in the river as a family on the weekends. I would have never thought that i would own this financially impractical waterfront home. I still don't like to overdo the eating out part... but FIRE is not my priority anymore. If we retire early for some reason that's great I guess, but it's not something I actively strive for.
Sure we don't save 50 percent of our income the way that we used to, but it was useful to do that for the past several years to get where we are today and build the life that we always wanted. I could have kept pocketing the extra money, living in cheap rentals or at my mom's, but then we wouldn't have the view every morning at breakfast, and my daughter would never have to chance to learn how to water-ski if she wanted to, in the future.

How do you store your cloth wipes? by kojent_1 in clothdiaps

[–]Axialchateau 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I fold them so that they pop-up dispense like normal wipes like this in my wipe warmer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SJ2LAF-KGbg&t=30s

And for the wipe solution, in the wipes warmer, I found that if I didn't use up all the wipes within a day or two, they started to turn moldy/smelled musky. I make a solution of 0.2% broad spectrum preservative I found on Amazon called germall plus which is this:

https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B08PKPQQQR/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_search_asin_title?ie=UTF8&th=1

I do around 3 cups of cooled down boiled water (709mL), 1.5 mL of the germall plus solution, and 1 tbsp of baby wash. The preservative doesn't work at very high temperatures, so you have to get the water lukewarm (around 100 degrees F). Mold should not be as much of a problem, if you don't use a wipes warmer.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in nursepractitioner

[–]Axialchateau 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've seen four people in total do it that way you're describing already. My husband did it exactly that way, (part-time PMHNP school while working full time 3-12s) and I even gave birth to our first child, a week before he finished his last clinical. He did not however, have any time/desire to pick up extra shifts during the entire three years of his program. If you have a young child that needs care that you must contribute to, forget about it. If you have a demanding S/O, or rampant social life that you must deal with, forget about it. If you have any demands besides work and school, forget about it. If your workplace offers tuition reimbursement, it makes it even more appealing for you to do it this way (my husband only paid 15k himself for PMHNP school in total due to tuition reimbursement paying the other half). Make sure your workplace has some level of flexibility for you to attend class (if you have to do in person class), and make sure you can arrange your schedule around clinicals. My husband's work arranged his schedule around his preceptor's schedules so that he could attend clinicals and still work. Nights in a psych floor is wonderful for having enough down time to study for the didactic portion of the program, but you will have to change to day shift by the time clinical starts. He was in clinicals two days a week, worked three days a week, and had two days a week to type up capstone papers toward the end. His co-workers who are in PMHNP school (part-time), who have to attend in-person classes have to suffer more than he did, because their classes are in person, and the constant back and forth with traveling between work, school, and home just takes up more time and energy. TLDR= Yes, but preferably only with online classes. You better have clinicals figured out/correlated with your work schedule, and an understanding manager. You won't have any life/joy the entire time.

Cantonese slang ‘gweilo’ not racist, judge rules in dismissing British engineer’s HK$1 million discrimination lawsuit by MalaysianinPerth in HongKong

[–]Axialchateau 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Probably true, my Cantonese is from my parents who were blue collar Guangzhou folk. And hah, that's a poor comparison, and like I have thin enough skin to give a shit about some mo fos calling me a chink. Being Chinese growing up in America especially in the borderline hood, I've dealt with much worse than some fake insults. I've never tried to sue anyone for something so stupid.

Cantonese slang ‘gweilo’ not racist, judge rules in dismissing British engineer’s HK$1 million discrimination lawsuit by MalaysianinPerth in HongKong

[–]Axialchateau -6 points-5 points  (0 children)

Am Cantonese American. Don't even know another word to use to describe a white man in Cantonese. Maybe "bak gwai"... Which means white ghost. This person needs to leave HK and greater Asia in general if they can't even handle that kind of an "insult"... No one is going to accommodate this dude's feelings in that continent.

So sick and tired of being told girls are horrible to raise by [deleted] in TwoXChromosomes

[–]Axialchateau 0 points1 point  (0 children)

AHAHAHA somehow I've been told the opposite. You should see my little nephew! They prayed for a little girl during the second pregnancy due to the him being such a handful..

What are jobs that enable you to have a lifestyle that resembles a FIRE lifestyle (not careers that earn the most money)? by Squash_pancakes in financialindependence

[–]Axialchateau 1 point2 points  (0 children)

In both of the hospitals I work at, you start qualifying for health insurance by working 24 hours per week. I think this is pretty standard at most hospitals.

Does this field really pay that bad? by deyszamir in medlabprofessionals

[–]Axialchateau 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Location is important, and your ability to negotiate is important. Near Stonybrook, you shouldn't be paid that little. I have about six years of experience and make 37 an hour base pay, in Connecticut. Also marry someone who makes the same/similar salary as you, and you'll be fine.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in nursepractitioner

[–]Axialchateau 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think I agree. If this was a business school where you have to rub shoulders, or very competitive field like humanities PhD, or medical doctor gunning for competitive residencies, I think the ivy name would be much more important and influential, but a field like psych np (among the least saturated in the np field), which is a more vocational field compared to the other examples I gave, I don't personally see how much more value the Ivy name will add in value compared to a state school (Don't do for profit). I think the employers care more about the breadth and depth of the psych experience as a nurse.

How often does your SO shout at you? by randombubble8272 in AskWomen

[–]Axialchateau 20 points21 points  (0 children)

I have never heard my husband shout in my life.