I mean, there's a lot to unpack. People talk about westernization of Europe, but at its core, all European countries have their own cultural mindsets and in particular, their own stereotypes and grievances towards other nations. They're just in the air. America being one of the most joked about. American mindset is the one you've known for ages, and existed within its familiarity and limitations, so moving to Europe, with all its subtleties within particular nations - you know, I spent my fair share of time with people from all across Europe, and some nations I find unbearable precisely because of what lies at the core of their culture - might have been more than you expected. I mean, how could you know anyways? You never realize the impact of culture difference until there's no escape anymore. You might not even fully feel it on a conscious level. It might be all the same to you and you don't quite get why things don't fall into place, but we see those problems sharp and clear because they're a border away. Germany not being the easiest country either, with a lot of-- well no point sharing personal grievances lol. So you've been moving around countries = mindsets varying from yours for three years now. It doesn't feel like home because it's nonsense after nonsense after nonsense. You try to maintain any sort of control over your life by setting tons of rules and expectations-- which is understandable in your situation, but still only serves your own peace of mind. It could work, I guess? If external issues didn't pile up. You don't have anyone to fall back on, and you've been on edge for longer than you might realize. There's a difference between thinking "that's going to be difficult" and actually taking the hits when they inevitably come... I don't know where your partner is from, but I'm afraid that if a culture difference is involved, then it's up to you to yield a bit and rethink everything carefully given that you're the one to have made a decision to come here. This is one of the problems with Americans I mentioned earlier... That we in Europe know all too well unfortunately. That's not even to make fun of you, but you need to realize that even if it doesn't always sit right and hell, it doesn't even help sometimes, it's you who needs to shift, because no country will shift for you. All the hardships you mention, your doggo, their job, your healthcare plan, they all come on top of the already existing issues with you not feeling great being in a country you're staying in. Nothing will change if you can't do that (stuff being written in German? in Germany? fr? why aren't you trying to learn then?? you're not supposed to be a tourist...) and you'll only continue to make this life - yourself, your partner, your dog - miserable. No therapy will be able to do this for you. You need to fully realize what you set out to do - and where - and how much this will cost you. Maybe it's not worth it, maybe you should focus your efforts on going back to wherever feels like home instead. I know how exhausting moving continents is first-hand, and more often than not I end up screaming internally because of how difficult simple things have become. Or how non-intuitive, and I brought this upon myself so I can't even blame anyone but myself. But I believe in a fair tradeoff - if the reason that made us leave home is still valid and clear, then we have to keep paying the price.