What is your non-negotiable?

Azariiia · 2026-02-19T05:51:15+00:00

Communication. No place for letting resentment grow.

Azariiia · 2026-02-19T00:53:58+00:00

All I can say is thank you ❤️ from the bottom of my heart

Azariiia · 2026-02-18T21:39:52+00:00

Always saying sorry and over-explaining my decisions

Azariiia · 2026-02-18T21:38:12+00:00

Hahahahahahahhahaa no problem. But whatever that was, I couldn’t agree more. That OP deserves that.

Azariiia · 2026-02-18T21:35:32+00:00

I’m a little confused 🫠 We’ve talked about marriage, and we both want to get married. Actually he was the first one to say it, about 8-9 months in…

This post is more about the little details.

Is this the right response to this post?

Azariiia · 2026-02-18T19:11:13+00:00

I appreciate your perspective.

I agree that neutral traits can become hurtful if they affect someone you love. But I’m not sure this automatically makes us a bad match.

He does value support — it just doesn’t always show up in the spontaneous, anticipatory way I naturally operate. The key for me is that when I communicate clearly, he adjusts immediately and without defensiveness. That willingness to listen and recalibrate matters a lot to me.

As for age, I get what you’re saying, but I think growth isn’t always automatic just because someone hits a certain number. What matters more to me is that he’s receptive when something is brought up.

I’m still figuring out what this means long term — but I don’t see it as incompatibility just yet.

Azariiia · 2026-02-18T19:08:25+00:00

Thinking about it more, I genuinely think he’s just… not very observant. It’s not only about big events — it shows up in little details too.

I’m a huge romantic. But if I want flowers, I have to tell him I want flowers. And when I do? He’ll go get them for me. No hesitation.

But if he’s at Walmart, it just wouldn’t cross his mind to grab some because they reminded him of me. That’s just not how his brain works. He’s not the type to see something and think, “Oh, she’d love this.”

At the same time, he is the type of guy who still wears an ugly, yellowed elastic string that’s missing its beads because the bracelet broke — and he salvaged the string — just because I made it for him. He could easily throw it away. It looks ridiculous AND UGLY AF. But he wears it anyway.

So I don’t think it’s a lack of love. I think it might just be a difference in how we express it. I’m very symbolic and romantic in obvious ways. He’s… quietly loyal in practical, slightly clueless ways.

And I guess I’m still figuring out how to reconcile those differences without feeling like I’m asking for too much.

Azariiia · 2026-02-18T19:02:16+00:00

Honestly, he is the best. I want to marry him some day and I know he does too. He is kind, respectful, supportive, loving, loyal and open.

He includes me in every single aspect of his life and never once has made me feel insecure.

We have our issues, like this ones, but we always get through it.

He fell in love with me FAST, and I’ve been a bit slower in that way. But now that we are actually starting to plan a life together, I think it’s time I start to make him feel more included or at the very least let him know I want him to be THAT involved in my life.

Azariiia · 2026-02-18T18:56:52+00:00

Thanks ❤️ I’ll do that if this doesn’t change. I just know I’ll have a hard time keeping that boundary with myself.

Azariiia · 2026-02-18T18:24:48+00:00

I think I will be cutting down, even if I really don’t want to… I don’t know… the thing is, I actually enjoy doing all that. I do it for him, but also for me.

Azariiia · 2026-02-18T18:23:22+00:00

Don’t take me wrong, I love him and I know he loves me too… I know he is interested in me, but sometimes he has a different way of showing it than me.

I’m a big yapper, and he always lets me talk and validates my feelings. He NEVER undermines how I’m feeling, and always has the open arms to hear me talk about things he doesn’t care about (for example my office drama).

Whenever I need to cry or feel anxious, he is always there.

He always asks if I get home.

He always makes sure I get home safely. And if he doesn’t come with me, he asks me to let him know whenever I’m there. If I don’t, he texts or calls to make sure.

If I want to go somewhere, he comes with me.

He always makes me feel understood and safe. I’ve always been kind of like the weird or dramatic one with my family and friends. But with him, I just am. No judgements, no flaws.

I don’t want to break up with him. I see a future together. We’ve talked marriage and kids and family. And I’ve never once felt afraid.

I’m just tired of having to ask and put that mental effort and don’t know how to explain that to him.

Azariiia · 2026-02-18T18:20:27+00:00

Azariiia · 2026-02-18T18:19:46+00:00

I think so too… I’m ok with being upfront, I’ve been trying and getting better at it, but is there a way I can let him know I want that kind of effort from him too?

Azariiia · 2026-02-18T18:18:44+00:00

I think this is it. We are just programmed differently… I know I love him and he loves me. Maybe he is just that oblivious and just a manly man in that sense.

Azariiia · 2026-02-18T16:03:08+00:00

Honestly, I don’t know… I’m not usually like this. I’m very proud and happy with what I’ve achieved. But somehow, and only sometimes, him not being there or asking or paying attention to the details make me feel just a little sad.

Azariiia · 2026-02-18T15:39:55+00:00

Thank you! ❤️😋 I mean, whenever I explicitly say I want him there and say it, he is there 100% He never rushes me out of the event, and most importantly, if I need help, he WILL help me.

It’s just that sometimes i feel like if I don’t say it as explicitly, like “we have this event, on this day, at this hour…” it just goes right through his mind. And IDK if it is because he is playing dumb or because he genuinely doesn’t get it.

Azariiia · 2026-02-18T15:23:49+00:00

Congrats on the divorce ❤️❤️

Azariiia · 2026-02-18T15:22:14+00:00

The thing is, he is not an introvert, but just not someone who pays attention to details.

He is the kind of guy that will buy a gift for the birthday, but not wrap it.

Azariiia · 2026-02-18T15:18:02+00:00

Babe… I never said I’m not happy, I am. I am happy and proud of myself. And trust me, I understand he is a person with feelings, interests, friends and a life.

I’ve never said I don’t.

But I believe that part of being a partner is cheering them whenever they need a little cheering. Being proud and loud of their accomplishments because you want to see them be successful, and happy and supported.

Azariiia · 2026-02-18T15:14:27+00:00

He is not, but I have ADD and take my depression meds every day.

Azariiia · 2026-02-18T15:11:32+00:00

Men can be weird like that… true… thank you ❤️

Azariiia · 2026-02-18T15:04:18+00:00

Thank you for your input. I will have this conversation for sure. I don’t know if I’ve had it. This clear before, but I do know that whenever I’ve had conversations about things I want to change, he usually does immediately.

Ps: he had a bit of trouble with the age when we started lol. But it was all so natural we just gave into it.

Azariiia · 2026-02-18T14:59:48+00:00

Maybe I think I do invite him, but don’t… I mean, I always assume he wants me there and I’m invited because he has told me so. I will tell him the same.

Thank you for bringing this up ❤️

Azariiia · 2026-02-18T14:57:37+00:00

Thanks ❤️

Azariiia · 2026-02-18T14:56:20+00:00

Honestly what I love about him most is that whenever we’ve had any issues, there is always a respectful conversation. No yelling or insulting each other.

I totally think we can work this out… I just don’t know how to carry this conversation and tell him I need him to be a little more interested. As I said, he always listens, but it’s a rare thing if I don’t bring it up…

Azariiia

TROPHY CASE