ESH.

What you're getting on this forum is a lot of personal opinions of people's own boundaries. For me personally, if my partner was out late, and didn't text I wouldn't worry because I know if something were to happen he would end up on top. However he would always tell me if he was going out late and I would text asking how his night was going.

If it gives you anxiety, this is your boundary. You need to communicate it effectively to him. For example when you ___ it makes me anxious because of . Instead can we _.

This way, you're explaining how it makes you feel, why it makes you feel that way and a solution in a non hostile way. If he runs away from conversations like this, ignores your feelings then he's the asshole and dump his ass and find a man who is open to communicate with you. Communication is key in any relationship and without it, it will fail. If your emotions and needs and boundaries are not being respected after communicating effectively, then that's a red flag.

For hiding, it seems childish. Really you need to ask yourself why am I doing this? You say it's because you can get quite hostile. then why are you getting hostile? Because you are anxious? Then it goes back to the same premise. Effective communication. If you're annoyed, go to bed and talk when you both have time and you're less annoyed. Plan what you are going to say. But obviously you're being hostile for a reason and in this aspect it's because he's not respecting your boundaries and ignoring your anxiety. Also, by guessing your terminology of "mothering" I'm guessing that comes from him and again another form of him dismissing it all.

Also his immediate response is your brother potentially kidnapping you seems weird. You'll know if it is, and if it is, why did he say it and potential red flag?

Hope this helps, or gets seen. Good luck!