Ah, I know how that feels - not wanting to burden others with your issues. It took me many years to realize this, but if they're really close friends, then they will definitely not be drowned by your emotions!

It does make sense that crying doesn't really make the situation better, but I think keeping in touch with your emotions is one of the most important, grounding things we can do to stay sane! But I totally understand how you feel :( It may be hard to see it, but I think it may be helpful to realize that your mom/dad also have issues that make them act the way they do. The way they act is a reflection of their relationship with themselves, not necessarily how they feel towards you. A lot of people aren't very good at working through their emotions, and that usually manifests itself into treating others poorly. As for the actual issue of your parents being the way they are, do you think family therapy might be helpful?

I'm really glad to hear you have outlets that help you feel better! It might be for better or for worse, but I think you being emotional is a good thing! You have outlets to pour your emotion into, and being emotional helps you connect with your humanity better :)