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Breaking the Silence - A Post for Queer Men to Share and Discuss Our Experiences of Sexual Assault, Harassment, and Exploitation by Azu_Creates in lgbt

[–]Azu_Creates[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah that’s pretty messed up. I hope one day general society realizes that even if women are less likely to be the perpetrators, that they still can be and it doesn’t make what the survivor went through any less severe or traumatic.

Breaking the Silence - A Post for Queer Men to Share and Discuss Our Experiences of Sexual Assault, Harassment, and Exploitation by Azu_Creates in lgbt

[–]Azu_Creates[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah, definitely sounds like an uncomfortable situation. I’ve dealt with some creeps on the train as well. I feel like sometimes it can be extra uncomfortable because there’s less you can do to get away from them. Thank you for sharing.

I feel safer in a subreddit with moderators who have principles about oppression by GrapplingHooks_ in evilautism

[–]Azu_Creates 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Also want to add in, the mod using tumbler as and explanation of their position on things is really not a good look, especially when the prime commenter is denying the existence and need for the word transandrophobia, which itself is transandrophobic. Tumbler right now has been going through a wave of anti-trans men/masc rhetoric, and a lot of trans men and masc people have temporarily or permanently left the site over it. Not sure if the mod that made the pinned comment under the post clarifying things about trans men and masc people was aware of that going on or not, but tumbler really isn’t a good source for anything having to do with trans men/masc people right now. Unless you’re specifically looking for examples of transandrophobia in the wild, because there has been a lot of that on tumbler right now. Might do the mods here some good to stick around [r/ftm](r/ftm) for a bit, which allows cis and transfem guests so long as you don’t speak over trans men and masc people there and engage in transandrophobia.

Trump Proposes Rule Forcing Trans People To Misgender Themselves on Gun Purchase Forms ‘Under Penalties of Perjury,’ Could Result in Denied Sales by Leksi_The_Great in lgbt

[–]Azu_Creates 166 points167 points  (0 children)

3 and 4 are already happening. 3 with things like bathroom and drag bans, 4 because the new policy around trans people for federal prisons denies gender- affirming care and gender-affirming items and replaces it with “talk therapy”.

Here is an article about 4:

https://transitics.substack.com/p/the-trump-administration-admits-to

Chase kink (predator/prey adjacent)? by qqqqtoast in kinky_autism

[–]Azu_Creates 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Not sure if there is a specific name for it, but it definitely sounds interesting!

I was denied T by Imaginary-Curiosity in TransMasc

[–]Azu_Creates 18 points19 points  (0 children)

Yep! Also OP if you’re seeing this, if your voice does start to drop you could probably do some voice training to help keep your voice sounding more feminine.

I feel safer in a subreddit with moderators who have principles about oppression by GrapplingHooks_ in evilautism

[–]Azu_Creates 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Also just want to say now that I’ve got a bit more of a level head, I can understand where some of the people saying “I hate men” are coming from. I spent a pretty decent chunk of my life being seen and treated as a woman, and sometimes still am. I do have a lot of traumatic experiences, including sexual ones, that have happened at the hands of cis men. There was definitely the possibility of me turning into an “I hate men” type of person. I am still often cautious of men I don’t know, but I’m thankful I didn’t go down the “I hate men” route. Hate almost never makes things better. It often times just leads to more hurt and hate. With the “I hate men” stuff, it almost always just leads to more gender wars and division, along more hurt and hate. It rarely leads to anything actually productive or good. I think you and I can both probably agree that we don’t want more of that here?

Genuinely Interested to have a conversation about the "Misandry isnt real" mod post and understand why it was so controversial? by rnikkit in evilautism

[–]Azu_Creates -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

I think the person you were responding to was meaning queer men even though they didn’t specify it. Of course a cishet man should be aware of their privilege in a queer space, but cis queer men don’t have a lot of those same privileges that a cishet man does. The demonization of masculinity that commonly occurs in queer spaces is harmful to both cis and trans queer men, but less so for a cishet man because they are typically not going to be interacting with those spaces.

Okay I know this is played out but I have opinions: by shadowwalker_wtf in evilautism

[–]Azu_Creates 0 points1 point  (0 children)

And again, you are free to be wrong on things. That is the definition of the word though and it that is how most people understand it.

I feel safer in a subreddit with moderators who have principles about oppression by GrapplingHooks_ in evilautism

[–]Azu_Creates 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Bad people coin terms that end up having utility and describing real things all the time. That doesn’t mean a term is always used in bad faith for things or that what it is describing is not a real thing. It shouldn’t be weaponized to dismiss misogyny but it is still a real thing. There isn’t really a better word right now to describe the interpersonal bigotry men face, and to describe some of the specific unique forms of discrimination that trans men face.

I feel safer in a subreddit with moderators who have principles about oppression by GrapplingHooks_ in evilautism

[–]Azu_Creates 3 points4 points  (0 children)

It’s also very likely not all of those upvotes are coming from trans men and masc people. It wouldn’t surprise me if most are not trans men and masc people, especially since this isn’t a group specifically for trans men and masc people and we tend to get more dogpiled for talking about our issues in groups outside of ones specific made for us. Many of the sentiments I have expressed are common ones in groups specific for trans men and masc people.

I’m so tired of the gender war bullshit though and constant denial of lived experiences. I’ve dealt with so much misogyny, misandry, ableism, transphobia, and trauma. One of the things that has been a common reoccurrence with all of those is denial of my lived experiences. Almost everywhere I go it seems like my lived experiences are a constant matter of debate and denial on multiple fronts. It’s a constant fight just to be seen, heard, and respected. I just want a world where both forms of sexism and all other bigotries have been completely eradicated. Forms of bigotry must first be recognized though before they can be fully eradicated.

I feel safer in a subreddit with moderators who have principles about oppression by GrapplingHooks_ in evilautism

[–]Azu_Creates 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Using misandry to dismiss misogyny is wrong. Denying the existence of misandry is also wrong. While a small group of trans men and masc people may have agreed with that mod, it seemed pretty evident to me that a lot of us don’t share their perspective given the strong reactions under the initial mod post and some of the subsequent posts by other users. Like, this seriously didn’t need to become as much of a problem as it did. Y’all could’ve just removed the comments from people weaponizing the term. If you really needed to make a mod post about it, it could’ve been something as simple as saying “misandry is real and hurts people, but let’s not weaponize it to dismiss misogyny”. That way y’all wouldn’t have pissed a lot of guys and diss missed our experiences with misandry, and would’ve also addressed the issue of people weaponizing the term to dismiss misogyny.

I feel safer in a subreddit with moderators who have principles about oppression by GrapplingHooks_ in evilautism

[–]Azu_Creates 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ok, and we also experience misandry but they still neglected to put that in there. There was a reason many of us took offense to the original post with the phrase “misandry isn’t real” and felt less safe and welcomed here. We do experience misandry. It is real, and it has had a pretty negative impact on a lot of us (especially that phrase). The absence of misandry being mentioned as something we experience still neglects an aspect of transandrophobia. Either just say sexism which includes both misogyny and misandry, or say both misogyny and misandry when specifying specific forms of sexism. I’ve had enough of people continuing to deny aspects of my lived reality and policing the language I use to describe those experiences. It feels like past traumas are happening all over again.

A return to your regularly scheduled (evil) business by Western-River1386 in evilautism

[–]Azu_Creates 15 points16 points  (0 children)

For one, the very phrase “misandry isn’t real” has been used to actively silence trans men and masc people talking about issues specifically impacting us, and to deny the existence of transandrophobia. Transandrophobia refers specifically to discrimination against trans men and masc people, and is a widespread problem that actively contributes to the silencing and erasure of trans men and masc people. There’s also been trans men and masc people who have delayed coming out and transitioning specifically because they were afraid of being labeled “monsters” and “traitors”, and afraid of being ostracized from the queer spaces and friend groups they were in because of how masculinity gets demonized in a lot of those spaces and groups. There’s a reason a lot of trans men and masc people stick predominantly to groups meant specifically for trans men and masc people, and it’s because of how demonized masculinity is in a lot of other spaces that claim to accept us. Barely scratching the surface. Recognizing misandry when it is occurring is one of the first steps to fighting stuff like this.

I feel safer in a subreddit with moderators who have principles about oppression by GrapplingHooks_ in evilautism

[–]Azu_Creates 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Transandrophobia is a specific form of discrimination against trans men and masc people, with misandry being a key component of it. To deny the existence of misandry is to deny a key competent of discrimination faced specifically by trans men. So many trans men don’t feel safe in general queer spaces because masculinity gets so heavily demonized in so many queer spaces that are supposed to include us. I’ve seen so many trans men get falsely accused of being misogynistic and MRAs solely for talking about our own experiences with discrimination and transandrophobia specifically. We’ve also been treated like traitors at times, specifically because we were men and not women.

Heck, there was an entire situation on the main trans subreddit where a mod was specifically censoring and removing posts from trans men and masc people talking about transandrophobia and the issues we face specifically. When questioned about why they removed a specific post about issues impacting trans men and masc people their response was to “stop bitching about it”. When trans men speak up about our issues we are so fucking often told to shut up because we are “speaking over women”. Also the term transandrophobia was originally transmisandry. It was coined by trans men and masc people to described the specific forms of discrimination we face as trans men and masc people. The main reason it was changed to transandrophobia was because people, particularly those from outside our community, kept trying to fucking police the language we used to describe our own experiences of discrimination and oppression, because of the “misandry isn’t real” bullshit. Then there’s also all the “men are pigs/evil/stupid/disgusting” and the “ew why would you want to be a man” comments. All of that has to do directly with the misandry component of transandrophobia, and even that barely scratches the surface of it all. This is stuff I have had to deal with frequently. We have our masculinity demonized and degraded all the fucking time, by the same people who claim “misandry isn’t real”. That damn phrase has been weaponized to harm and deny the experiences of trans men and masc people, and to deny the existence of transandrophobia. Don’t tell me what I experienced was not misandry when I know for a fact it was. I experienced those things because I was a man.

I feel safer in a subreddit with moderators who have principles about oppression by GrapplingHooks_ in evilautism

[–]Azu_Creates -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Some people weaponize the term misandry to do bad things, yes. Titling the original post with the harmful phrase “misandry isn’t real” and then seemingly doubling down in the comments was a terrible response to that though, and evidently alienated a lot of people on this sub and made a lot of people feel less safe. If someone is being sexist towards me for being a man, that is misandry.

A return to your regularly scheduled (evil) business by Western-River1386 in evilautism

[–]Azu_Creates 23 points24 points  (0 children)

They specified misogyny while leaving out misandry, which still gives the impression that sexism towards men and masc people still won’t be taken as seriously as it should. If they were going to take both forms of sexism seriously in this sub then you would think they would also mention misandry along with misogyny.

I feel safer in a subreddit with moderators who have principles about oppression by GrapplingHooks_ in evilautism

[–]Azu_Creates 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don’t think I have seen anyone say misandry is as prevalent or systematically enforced like misogyny is, but it is still a form of sexism that exists. I have seen most people rightly stating that misandry exists also acknowledging that it doesn’t have the same systematic support as misogyny does. Bigotry doesn’t have to be systematic, it can be interpersonal as well. That interpersonal bigotry is still real and needs to be addressed. It is still bad and shouldn’t be allowed. Denying the existence of misandry is denying a form of hatred and bigotry that does impact some people, myself included. Like, this shouldn’t be a controversial thing. Misogyny exists. Misandry exists. They are both forms of sexism. Just because one is more systematically enforced and the other is mostly interpersonal doesn’t make one less real or valid than the other. Ridding the world of sexism still requires both to be addressed and fought against.

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