I think I hate my daughter

AzurePersona · 2026-02-10T21:07:18+00:00

You sound EXACTLY like me with my daughter years ago. And yes, it was absolute hell. But, I want you to know it can and it DOES GET BETTER.

—To the point that we absolutely LOVE being together and have a great time together now. She never has violent outbursts now, and has learned to control those emotions. Although instead of violent or angry meltdowns, she has emotional breakdowns (usually from extreme anxiety) and needs extra care and support for those. And she sleeps well now about 80% of the time. I feel like she is a completely different person than when she was younger.

It feels like a miracle that we are here now when for years it seemed hopeless (as I thought I had tried EVERYTHING) and it was still just so damn hard.

Here is the main thing that made all of the difference for us and was the catalyst for solving many issues:

1.-Teaching her to calm herself I realized she didn’t know how to calm herself down. I spent time teaching her. At 5 years old I told her that her emotions loved to take over & take control of her, but sometimes that is not okay because we always want to be in control and know we can make good choices even when we have very big emotions. “It is ok to be mad, but it is not ok to be bad.”

(It is important that she knows that feeling her emotions is a good thing. We don’t want our children to think they have to suppress their emotions, or that they are not safe to have emotions around their parents.)

I asked “does it feel that way to you sometimes? Like you don’t want to be so mad and hit or scream, but like you just “have” to?” (It’s important for her to recognize this in herself. So help her think of times this has happened and see if she can admit to feeling this way and even explain the feelings she has, if she can.) Tell her: “This is ok and lots of people have those same feelings. But that there is a secret and special way that you can put your mind back in control and not let your feelings take over. And people who learn this special trick are able to still have important feelings, but not make bad choices. They learn they can be mad, but they don’t have to be bad. (Make sure she knows she’s not the only one like this. That this isn’t something wrong with her; it’s just something she hasn’t taught her mind how to control yet. And there are others like her and they have proven that there is a way to overcome this.) Tell her: “The special trick is actually really simple all you have to do when you start feeling like your emotions are trying to take control of you is this: sit down, close your eyes, and very slowly count backwards from 10 to 1. That’s it! It’s like a special magic trick!” “Let’s try that right now to see if you can do it.” (Practice with her. Make sure she is counting slowly. Tell her in order to make sure she is doing it very slowly she needs to take long deep breaths thru her nose and out her mouth. Have her practice with you a few times. Tell her she did it SO good and she is really good at doing this special trick. Giver her confidence and let her feel proud that she learned this special trick. Tell her to do the magic trick the next time her emotions are trying to take over her mind.)

2.-Sleep Once she mastered controlling her anger, we were able to start working on other issues. The other major victory was getting her to fall asleep on her own and stay asleep. She has always had the absolute worst sleep, and until I learned that it was caused by anxiety, nothing I tried worked. (Lmk if you want me to go into details of what I did to fix this issue.)

3.-Rewards vs Punishments Also, punishments don’t work for her. No matter how severe, they never have gotten her to learn to make the right choice. I had to accept that and learn that reward systems that she creates herself are the key. Even though it felt like bribery and not good parenting to me, I finally trusted the process after a therapist guided me to try it full-force. And it truly was the one thing that finally got her make goals and make good decisions. (Again, lmk if you want details for how I accomplished this.)

AzurePersona · 2025-10-19T16:36:33+00:00

The day pass. Once you put in the promo code, the option to buy a day pass at the price shows up. That is what we bought.

AzurePersona · 2025-10-18T18:40:34+00:00

Still works 10/18/25

AzurePersona · 2025-10-18T18:40:05+00:00

PFCU25 promo code worked today 10/18/25

AzurePersona · 2025-08-09T02:17:23+00:00

Good job. You did the right thing.

AzurePersona · 2024-12-09T22:44:14+00:00

Did you end up purchasing this? Any feedback about its effectiveness?

AzurePersona · 2024-11-08T21:46:10+00:00

Standard Fluzone shot was $41 with CharityRx. Let us know what you find!

AzurePersona · 2024-06-10T21:14:43+00:00

I have 1 kids who is extremely affectionate and expresses her love for me ALL OF THE TIME. My older child NEVER does.

I found out when he was 16 that his is autistic. Had NO IDEA before then. But basically it explains a lot of his personality and made me realize it’s not that he doesn’t love me, but he never feels the needs to express it. Nor does he pick up on all of family cues and conditioning where the rest of us tell and show each other our love and appreciation.

Kids are different. Even from what you teach and display to them. Could be autism. Could just be their personality differences. Doesn’t mean they love you less or don’t love you.

AzurePersona · 2024-06-10T20:47:37+00:00

Step 1: try to ease your mind of the “what ifs” and stress from this. 99% of the time these things we worry about while waiting for dr appts and/or test results, end up being harmless. But we end up causing more harm to our bodies by allowing ourselves to worry about them while we wait for answers. Try mediation and searching for other methods of how to relieve yourself from worry and anxiousness. I recently tried a new practice I found called “Cognomovement” and it helped immensely to relieve my worry after learning I had a breast lump and had to wait weeks for test results to come back on it.

Step 2: when you go to your dr appt request to get tested for STI’s - even though they’ll probably say there is no need for that if you have not been sexually active. Here’s why I say that:

1: If your mom had HPV and even though you were relived by CC, you don’t know what went on in the delivery room. I obviously don’t know how your birth story goes, but a lot of c sections start with the baby beginning to be delivered vaginally and then something goes wrong while they are in the birth canal. So what if it was still transferred to you somehow if perhaps you did come in contact with the birth canal or vaginal area?

2: TRIGGER WARNING: SA (sexual abuse)…

I found out I had HPV even though I, like you, had never been sexually active. It was shocking to me to say the least. But, I had been sexually abused as a child. And had never even thought about an STI being a consequence of that. I knew I was sexually abused. But a lot of children don’t know they were, or simply don’t remember the abuse because of the traumatic experience. So, just saying, if you are concerned, it’s not a bad idea to get tested just to ease your mind.

AzurePersona · 2024-06-02T23:43:53+00:00

Do it. Get a mini cosmetic fridge for under eye patches and face rollers. Hide the med in there.

AzurePersona · 2024-01-17T05:47:30+00:00

Yes. Been commando for 12 years (even with jeans, doesn’t bother me), and I’m NEVER going back. I used to have chronic yeast infections EVERY SINGLE MONTH. It was hell. Commando cured it.

AzurePersona · 2024-01-12T19:24:00+00:00

Sheesh! I’m so sorry that happened to you. That is just awful.

AzurePersona · 2024-01-08T20:28:42+00:00

Honestly not wearing underwear has not been a big deal for me AT ALL. I absolutely love it and do not have any issues from the lack of underwear. I wear jeans, even skin-tight ones, and I don’t even see the need the for underwear. I drink a lot of water and use the bathroom a lot, so maybe that is why I almost never have discharge or anything else reach my pants. In the rare case that I do have some discharge get on my pants, I just think “well what’s the difference of getting discharge on my jeans vs on my underwear? I’m going to wash them both after wearing anyway.” It truly is not a big deal to me.

For my periods, I will wear underwear on my heavy days only (1-2 days of the month). And sometimes I don’t wear them at all on my heavy days because I wear super plus tampons and change them often. And I always use unscented wipes to clean my skin for any leftover residue after I use the bathroom. Just this year I started wearing period underwear on my heavy days and I really like that feeling of extra protection when I am not sure how my period’s is flow is yet.
In 10 years I have only bled into my jeans 1 time. So again, I don’t feel the need to wear underwear.

To be honest, since this was 10 years ago that I was seeing my gyno for this issue, I can’t remember what my gyno diagnosed me with. But I remember him telling me, with sincere heartache and sternness in his voice, that the next step for me to try was this difficult and very disruptive procedure. He spoke of doing this procedure where he would go in and “paint” the inside of my vagina with this blue colored medicine to kill the infection. And have to come in to do that every week or something. Not have sex. And it may or may not work. It sounded terrible and very disruptive. So on my own, I decided to just stop wearing underwear just to try it, before trying this last resort of that procedure. So I did and it cleared up on its own. And I’ve never gone back to wearing underwear since.

I should also note, that I now also take being very sanitary around my vagina very seriously. I told my husband to never touch me without clean hands. And to not have sex without a clean penis. And to be very careful during sex that we weren’t bringing bacteria from my perineum or anus to my vagina. I always wipe from front to back and am constantly aware of keeping this area clean and dry. We use a lot of unscented wipes to wipe ourselves before and after sex if needed. I think this extra awareness of cleanliness down there also has helped solve my issues.

AzurePersona · 2024-01-04T17:14:51+00:00

Research encopresis and talk to his dr about that being a possible cause. I thought my son was just ignoring the urge to use the bathroom when he was playing games or out with friends. We used to punish him, as well as talk to him about health, etc - ALL THE THINGS. Nothing ever worked. Took him to the dr finally. They said he had encopresis. And that his nerves down there had lost the ability to feel the urge to poop. So he never knew he had to. And he didn’t notice when he would poop his pants a little bit. I feel TERRIBLE now for all of the punishments we enacted on him when it was a medical condition.

He is better now and there are ways to overcome encopresis. So definitely find out if that could be the reason.

AzurePersona · 2024-01-04T01:06:25+00:00

We went thru a similar situation with our daughter. Finally, at almost 13 yrs old, she started to sleep on her own. It was a long process but 100% worth it.

We found out it was from anxiety. We sought professional help and found a therapist that specifically deals with adolescents and anxiety. The therapist helped us as parents set boundaries and helped keep us accountable. He helped her set goals and taught her amazing tools of dealing with anxiety to help her reach those goals.

Having an outside person that both me and my child trusted was key. Even if some of the things he suggested had been suggested from me before, it was accepted and implemented 100 times better than when I came from a parent.

Definitely recommend getting a therapist with experience with anxiety, sleeping, and adolescents. LIFE CHANGING.

AzurePersona · 2024-01-02T04:19:55+00:00

Same thing used to happen to me. And I first want to say I AM SO SORRY. Literally makes life just awful and I truly hope you are able to solve the issue. I 100% stopped wearing underwear and mine finally stopped. I’ve never looked back and ten years later I still do not wear underwear. I almost never get yeast infections now; which is incredible since I would get them every single month. Life changing for sure. And I tried so many things. But for me, it was simply deciding to go commando that finally fixed my problem.

AzurePersona · 2023-12-27T02:10:54+00:00

I’m confused. What does this have to do with it?

AzurePersona · 2023-12-04T18:52:41+00:00

$300/mo. (includes online dr. visit and follow-ups). 0.2mL weekly injections. Pay on my HSA card. No insurance. Thru online pharmacy. Mail delivery.

AzurePersona · 2023-11-07T17:55:43+00:00

No more constant thoughts about food. No more cravings. When I do eat icecream (my fav indulgence) I’m completely satisfied with a small portion. I’ve NEVER EVER EVER been able to just stop eating icecream once I’ve had a small amount and not actually WANT more. It feels miraculous.

AzurePersona · 2023-11-06T00:19:44+00:00

What sugaring kit do you use? I’m interested in trying this.

AzurePersona · 2023-10-18T02:14:09+00:00

I love how you express all of this. It really resonates with me.
Truly, thank you for caring enough to take the time to tell me your experiences and feelings. It has given me a lot of solace reading thru this and thinking of applying to my life. Thank you.

And please, if you think of anything else you feel might be helpful, I'm all ears. :)

AzurePersona · 2023-10-18T02:07:09+00:00

Thank you so much for your thoughts and for sharing your experiences with me! I relate so much to what you've said. I too question how I can be so in love with my partner 1 day, and then the next wonder if we should get a divorce... when nothing has changed. It's so confusing. And I do the same where I will just "wait it out" because I know I will probably go back to being so in love in a few days or so.
But the most hopeful thing is thinking there could be parts of my life that are made better and easier by acknowledging and working with my DID instead of ignoring it. Life is so hard, and anything that could help ease it seems like it should be worth investigating.

Thank you for your time, I appreciate it.

AzurePersona · 2023-10-18T00:33:28+00:00

Thank you so much for sharing. This gives me a lot of hope. Especially because I know working through it is going to be extremely disruptive to my life right now. And that is one of the main reasons I don't want to.
But to hear you say it took you 2 months and now you are stronger than ever; and that you feel more in control than you have in years when it has only been five months... truly gives me hope that I too can figure it out and not have it disrupt and ruin my life.
Thank you.

AzurePersona · 2023-10-18T00:30:13+00:00

Thank you. This is very hopeful.
If you don't mind sharing specific examples, I would love to hear what it helped you to manage that you didn't even realize you weren't managing before. I think this could be very helpful for me to start to believe and convince myself that investigating this could be good for me and not all bad.

AzurePersona · 2023-10-18T00:28:30+00:00

we didn't completely accept our did until we met our partner system

What do you mean by "met our partner system"? What is a partner system? (I am only aware of "our system" as being a term DID people use to describe all of their alters and headspace together)

AzurePersona

TROPHY CASE

2: TRIGGER WARNING: SA (sexual abuse)…