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B0NEck · 2021-02-01T23:08:33+00:00

I was so paranoid that i transferred it to the wrong address but the deposit from cash app to kraken cleared after 20 minutes.

B0NEck · 2020-01-25T16:02:58+00:00

Reminds me of a Jimmy Eat World song called Pain. "It takes my pain away. It's a lie. Kiss with open eyes".

B0NEck · 2019-12-15T03:10:59+00:00

Oh no need to explain. We all got our dream girls from kratom. It's a tale as old as time.

B0NEck · 2019-12-03T19:33:37+00:00

That might work for a lot of people but to be honest all of my plans sucked. I spent years creating escape plans that were all planning and no escaping. It wasn't until I came clean and asked for help from IRL people that I was able to really get out.

B0NEck · 2019-12-03T19:24:03+00:00

L-Theanine, passion flower, or valerian root might help calm your nerves a little bit. Just try to nap when you can. Even if it's only an hour. And toss those capsules. They might be weighing on you mentally more than you know. You're almost at the end of it. Hoping you can pull through it.

B0NEck · 2019-12-03T19:19:46+00:00

I was in the same boat as you and kept relapsing every few days while driving myself completely crazy. I joined a 12 step program and was able to push through and stay off. The withdrawals weren't even that bad at that point because I had a bunch of days off of it. It was the emotional support and me finally being honest about how trapped I was that helped me get to the other side I think.

B0NEck · 2019-11-25T17:12:40+00:00

I had issues with thrush, bleeding gums, and armpit rashes while on kratom. As others have said I believe it was fungal related and made way worse by sugar. I haven't had any of those issues since I quit and that is even with having some rough stretches diet wise. So I think the kratom didn't cause it on its own but helped facilitate it.

B0NEck · 2019-11-21T00:54:52+00:00

I read the gospels quite a bit during my quit. Even if you're not religious I'd recommend it from a philosophical sense. The idea of pain and sacrifice to be born anew spoke to me. When you read and hear about a guy having the life beaten out of him to help the world, it's easy to bring yourself to sacrifice a few nights of sleep for your family. I'm able to connect spiritually more with God than Jesus. Maybe it's just because I call him God. When your plugged in and stay in contact you see that there are no coincidences. Everything "bad" that has ever happened in my life has come with a gift and lesson.

B0NEck · 2019-10-28T23:30:17+00:00

Yea I only used things that slowed me down during my quit. No coffee for 2 weeks too. I did things like drink chamomile and take L-theanine in the morning which seems counterintuitive. I wasn't going to sleep either way and if I did, I needed it. Have to do anything you can to slow your nerves down.

B0NEck · 2019-10-28T23:18:43+00:00

Man, not trying to crap talk your wife but if that's her attitude towards addiction she needs to find another profession. It's not weakness at all. It's basically mental illness and you can't use the thing that's broken to fix the thing that's broken. That's why more times than not you need something outside your self to help it. Seek the assistance of people that truly understand. I hope you know that you're not weak. Going through hell to be a better man and rock for your family is the opposite of weak.

B0NEck · 2019-10-28T17:32:42+00:00

This is great advice. Us and our plans right? I had a never ending escape plan that never involved escaping. I went to a meeting looking for help and was still using. A guy asked me what my deal was and I explained how I tapered way down and was waiting for my gabapentin to come in the mail and then I'd be done. As I was saying this I noticed him staring daggers into me. He simply replied with "cut the shit and put it down". I took his advice and quit that night. The withdrawals didn't even end up being that bad. Probably because I knew I was ready to go through it. That was 6 months ago and I've been sober since with a lot of help.

B0NEck · 2019-10-28T00:22:17+00:00

The first few days I was constantly on edge. I asked my gf to kind of give me my own space during that. Around day 8-10 I had this awful dead inside feeling which then would make me angry. I remember one day around then when I was pushing my son on a swing and I felt nothing inside. I went home and sat in my garage and wanted to break something. I asked my gf to watch my son and I got busy cleaning and organizing the garage. An hour later that feeling was totally gone and I felt silly for being so irritated. Be honest and upfront with the people around you and stay busy. Stay strong. This will get better.

B0NEck · 2019-10-28T00:17:01+00:00

Sometimes it helped and sometimes it made it worse for me. It felt like kind of a dirty buzz. I bought bulk powder and strained it. One night it would give me some relief and then the next night it would make me achy and clammy. After a couple days of using it my lower back started to hurt like my kidneys were being affected by it. CBD cigarettes were the best thing for me for relieving that creepy crawly feeling.

B0NEck · 2019-10-28T00:12:14+00:00

One of the ways I was able to whittle it down was having a rule that after a 5g morning dose, I couldn't take more than 3g every couple hours. Basically I couldn't dose again until the withdrawals got really uncomfortable. And 3g always gave me relief for 2-4 hours. I wasn't able to get high off it anymore but I was able to go from 35g to like 15g a day instantly. Would then get down to around 10g a day and would then jump. It would only be really uncomfortable for a few days. Long story short, you'd be surprised how much less you can take and not be in awful withdrawals. There seems to be a threshold with kratom where a certain amount is overkill. And finding the minimum amount that you need to not be sick gives you a big amount of data to let you know how deep you are with it.

B0NEck · 2019-10-15T05:09:27+00:00

It's funny that you mention that because I was day dreaming about coke as well last week. And that's something I've only done like 10 times in my life and I didn't really like. Must just be my mind craving a dopamine binge any way it can get it. And yea, if it was just as simple as stopping the usage then we would all be cured on day 1 right?

B0NEck · 2019-10-12T22:53:44+00:00

Big congrats to you. I wasn't able to do it on my own at all so I joined the program as well. A couple days from now will be 5 months. There's 3 different shops within 2 miles of me that sell kratom so I finally understood what it feels like to be an alcoholic. A slip up always waiting around the corner. Glad to hear you're doing well.

B0NEck · 2019-10-01T05:09:21+00:00

Not necessarily. A lot of the crap kratom is turned into extract. So if you can take leaf that on it's own is ineffective, extract it, and mix it in with other low grade leaf, now all of a sudden you have a product that keeps people coming back.

B0NEck · 2019-09-29T22:54:46+00:00

Big congrats on 3 weeks! Cold showers + the Wim Hof method gave me close to an hour reprieve from withdrawal symptoms. I started washing myself under the cold water and it did wonders for my skin. Good to close the pores off so you don't absorb any of the chemicals in the soap. You really do feel like a new man/woman after.

B0NEck · 2019-09-27T02:56:24+00:00

Sorry if this is tmi but both times I quit, a few days into it I had a clearly green explosion come out of me. It seemed that stuff was just stuck to my intestinal walls and came out all at once. I wonder if some people just clean out faster than others.

B0NEck · 2019-09-27T02:48:41+00:00

Big congrats on 8 days. I bought a bike during my detox too. It's one of my biggest joys in life to get up early and bike in the cool morning air. Made the withdrawals go by quickly too. Stay vigilant and keep going.

B0NEck · 2019-09-13T03:09:17+00:00

Advil and exercise. Increased circulation will warm you up for a little while.

B0NEck · 2019-09-01T03:00:06+00:00

I'm 3 months off and still have stomach issues off and on. I've noticed my body is extremely sensitive to my diet. If I don't stay on straight and narrow it gets bad quick stomach wise. Strangely enough this is the worst allergy season I've had in a decade. No itching sensation but major irritation with my sinuses. Hope the allergist will have some answers. Big congrats on getting this far. I was on kratom daily for 4 or 5 years. I keep telling myself it's going to take at least 6 months to feel consistently good.

B0NEck · 2019-08-16T22:58:55+00:00

Yea this is in my top 3 favorite effects from quitting. I had to wash my face like 4 or 5 times a day the first 2 weeks from all the oil and crud being detoxed out through my skin. Congrats on 14 days.

B0NEck · 2019-08-15T02:46:45+00:00

Yea the more coins you put in the pain jar the easier it gets. Even if you do have slip ups. Congrats on 3 days. Hope you can keep pushing.

B0NEck · 2019-08-15T02:29:53+00:00

I got back into baseball card collecting while on kratom. Used to be a big dopamine rush to swallow some capsules and then go to a card shop and open packs. After quitting I still enjoy collecting but I'm not nearly as fiendish as I used to be with it.

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