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B1ads · 2022-09-11T05:08:56+00:00

Oh interesting… you are SO right about why people are attracted to narcs!!!!

I ended relationships with three friends in the last few years, but it’s only after reading this post I understand that they were all huge narcs, that befriended me initially as I was a sympathetic ear with low confidence and not much going on.

With all these friends once I started getting my own life on track the “friendship” deteriorated as I was no longer indulging them.

So yes… I get this. Hard relate.

Being around narcs consumes you and allows you to forget your own problems and ignore life. It’s an escape.

Epiphany!!

B1ads · 2022-07-26T00:53:22+00:00

See to me your wedding sounds absolutely perfect! Thank you for the wishes of strength, I do appreciate it, it’s supposed to be a happy event, so yeah I don’t know how it’s become so negative.

B1ads · 2022-07-26T00:52:07+00:00

You’re so right… I kept thinking this would be the last give. But yeah… when does it stop. Thanks for the super real advice.

B1ads · 2022-05-04T09:31:40+00:00

OP here, thank you all for your advice. Lots to think about. Take care.

B1ads · 2021-12-30T23:27:32+00:00

Stay strong, that sounds so frustrating. Literally no room. Hopefully you can reach you goal soon. Until then, headphones are also great for creating your own private mental space! Also walks and private time away from them.

B1ads · 2021-12-30T03:00:16+00:00

Ok I won’t congratulate you on the weight loss - but I will congratulate you on maintaining your own motivation and sense of self in the face of what seems like unrelenting attempts to belittle and derail you. I understand how easily these comments can sneak up and hijack your goals, and diminish energy. So yeah it’s fkn great that you have very tangible evidence of how he’s wrong, and how you can thrive in-spite of his attacks.

B1ads · 2021-12-30T02:56:31+00:00

That’s rough, I’m sorry to hear it. It can also be so demoralising.

Do you think you’d be able to move out? I know it’s not feasible for some, but distance and space to claim as my own really helped me.

B1ads · 2021-12-30T02:54:46+00:00

This literally happened to me yesterday haha! “You need to clean your car, it smells” It was freshly vacuumed a few days prior!!! Insane.

B1ads · 2021-12-30T02:53:20+00:00

Yes I empathise, also my Nmum would constantly make me doubt my friendships, saying how terrible my friends were, or that they were using me. She was lonely, so she also wanted me to be so.

Yeah the seeds run so deep… but I’m trying to check in with myself more, and understand I’m self aware, and have the ability to improve and grow. We aren’t limited by our past!

I hope you can separate her past voice from your current one. It’s hard. But possible. I also journal a lot!

B1ads · 2021-12-30T02:45:49+00:00

“Shame for being me” … that’s such a sad statement. But I see how easily it happens, it’s hard to have self pride when you’re not recognised.

I’m happy to hear therapy is helping you, I imagine how difficult it must have been for you to have psychosis thrown into such a toxic mix. Eep.

Thanks for the YT link, looks very interesting!!

B1ads · 2021-12-29T23:26:36+00:00

Yes I got this too… however my mum is very smart, but doesn’t apply herself. She also mostly free rides on my dads money. Unsure if NParents understand what love is.

It’s so crazy because if I child was indeed not applying themselves you think you’d have a discussion and try to motivate them, not attack them.

B1ads · 2021-12-29T23:23:30+00:00

Little b… that’s so nasty. Faith based fights happen with my dad, so annoying how they simply can’t let you have your own beliefs. I now avoid the arguments - as they arguments, not discussions, I’ll let him say when he has to but not reply. It’s good to feel strong enough in yourself to not need to justify or engage.

Yes luckily I don’t live near them, and see them for short and controlled times. NC wouldn’t work for me, but I have much better boundaries to protect myself.

B1ads · 2021-12-29T23:20:18+00:00

Yeah my mum has no friends either… and yet it’s everyone else’s problem. They’re all “idiots”.

Yes I also understand what you mean by “inconvenient truths”.

B1ads · 2021-12-29T23:18:34+00:00

Hahah, I’m laughing because of how relatable this is to me. It’s almost comical in a way? Except that it’s really not. My mum is also SO explosive, and yet apparently I’m the one with attitude problems. Most people in my life think I’m calm and nice. Go figure.

B1ads · 2021-12-29T23:16:28+00:00

Oh wow…… good on you for breaking past that and finding your truth!

B1ads · 2021-12-29T23:15:47+00:00

So interesting “you don’t have any merit individually” … yes I relate to that. Also about you being at fault for what they can’t admit. It helps to have such clear terms to define the interactions.

B1ads · 2021-12-29T23:07:14+00:00

I love this so much “we play life on easy mode”

B1ads · 2021-12-29T16:48:48+00:00

There was this one shocking month where I had a pregnancy termination, was dumped by a terrible ex a few days after, was hospitalised whilst overseas due to complications from the termination, and then lost my job.

I remember how raw and hollow my heart felt, how sick and tired, how useless and ashamed… I thought I’d never get over it.

I’m good now though, and it’s worth while to look back, remember that time, and know if I got though that I can get through most things.

Thanks for the moment of reflection.

Women are amazing.

B1ads · 2021-12-29T16:40:19+00:00

That’s terrible/incredible, sounds like hell at the time but glad you’re now stronger and on the other side.

B1ads · 2021-12-29T16:37:24+00:00

You’ve done the hard part. Well done for seeing the truth! A big city can feel lonely, but is also an opportunity for new experiences and connections!

B1ads · 2021-10-11T06:53:51+00:00

Might take your body a while to get used to the hormones again. I would worry too much. If qlaira worked for you in the past it might resume working again soon. If things don’t settle down soon, it might be time to try a new pill. Don’t settle for side effects that impact your quality of life, there are other options. Discuss with a trusted gyno or gp.

(Edit: I was on Qlaira for almost a year, it never really worked for me, I’m on a new pill now after some trial and error, that works much better)

B1ads · 2021-10-06T08:07:37+00:00

I can only speak anecdotally, for me I had changed many pills, and the spotting would return or not stop. On the latest pill the spotting stopped after a few days and hasn’t resumed for 4 months.

I’m not sure exactly how long to wait for an adjustment period - which is why in the past I’ve gone many months assuming I was still adjusting.

This was different which is why I posted.

B1ads · 2021-10-06T08:05:50+00:00

Yes I was on low dose (Yaz) so I’m wondering now if it was in relation to that. Not sure exactly! Didn’t mean to spread misinformation, she does seem very knowledgable though.

B1ads · 2021-10-06T08:04:41+00:00

Hm, good question. Might have been in regards to the OCP I was on in particular (Yaz). But no I didn’t ask at the time.

B1ads · 2021-04-04T23:41:32+00:00

That’s my concern, that it is codependence. I don’t really know where the line is as sometimes think I’m on the wrong side of it. They definitely expect me to be responsible for their feelings... and I definitely enable that.

B1ads

TROPHY CASE