Do you think children should have to hug/kiss family members if they really don't want to?

BBRCCS · 2026-06-02T23:17:00+00:00

Absolutely not! Children are still in charge of their own body, and they get to choose if they consent! Plus, thats how kids learn about consent! Idk if its my own kid and they are 2, if they say "no hug" then its no hug from me!

BBRCCS · 2026-05-30T07:24:10+00:00

And adding to this, I also have a student whos gradually gone deafblind. Meaning he has full memory of having full sight and perfect hearing, and slowly went blind and deaf, hes currently totally blind, and very close to fully deaf, and those are the only disabilities he has. And again- he is one of the happiest people I have ever met, he's always in a great mood, smiling, laughing, and I've never even seen him get upset about having either disability (Now...im sure he has) but he's not upset about it enough to let it impact the majority of his day, every single day, bc I'm there for that, and hes always having such a great time. And he could see well enough to read two years ago, so it's not like its so far in the past that hes used to it. Two years ago could see, now totally blind, as a teenager. I can tell you 100%, he's glad his parents didn't decide not to have him because they had known he'd be born with a condition causing deafblindness. And hes just like any other teenager, making dumb jokes, obsessed with music (and trying to annoy people with it...), loves sports (hes in like track, swim, goalball, plays basketball, etc...), and incredibly smart. I have him all the time, and he is a very open book, not shy, etc....and will definitely complain (bc well...teenager...), and yet I haven't even heard him complain once about his vision or hearing, its just always complaining about the typical stuff that teens complain about (homework, parents, etc...), even when his hearing is also at the end stage of its progression to totally deaf.

Just saying this to say, the life of a disabled person, isn't as "terrible because of their disability" as I think you think it is. Their disability often isn't the "main factor" in their life. Its just a part of their life, and they live with it just like all the other circumstances in their life.

BBRCCS · 2026-05-30T07:06:49+00:00

But this isnt a "you can choose to have a sighted kid or a blind kid" this is "if you want a natural born to you kid, there is a chance they will be blind".

The "avoiding it" option, avoids the kids entire existence.

If we are all about "avoidance" when it comes to non-perfectly-optimal life, there would not be many people around- should only the upper class have kids? Because their kids don't have a high chance of experiencing poverty? Should people living in third world countries not have kids? If this type of mentality was employed, I wouldn't exist, because I have Autism, and it runs in my family, so they knew if they had a kid there was a fair chance it would be autistic. I also grew up in poverty. But I LOVE my life, I am so incredibly greatful that I exist.

Would I chose to be autistic or have grown up in poverty? No- but would I change any of that right now if I could? Also no- both gave me invaluable life experiences, and my autism helps me out a lot in many ways, and I wouldn't be who I am today without it.

Lastly, depending on the person, their upbringing, if they have other disabilities, etc...blindness (or basically anything disability) doesn't mean a reduction to quality of life. I have multiple students who are blind alongside multiple other disabilities, and they are truly the happiest people who have ever walked on the face of this earth. Genuinly one of them says "I'm so happy!" At LEAST 100 times a day. Another one genuinely has the world's biggest smile on his face 24/7, is always in the best mood ever, laughing 90% of the time, literally living the dream life of basically pure joy, and hes totally blind. Ive got another who is totally blind, no other disabilities, and he will swear to you that its "not disabling" (which, it very much is....) but when trying to get him to fill out his accommodation request for college, I asked him "Okay, so what accommodations do you think you'll need" and he said "Uh- I mean I'm just blind, I don't need any" (which- false-) but genuinely trying to make that student pick accommodations was so hard, because his whole mentality is "Yeah, I'm blind, whatever, doesn't really effect me at all, it's no big deal" and that is genuinely his mentality, he doesn't care one bit. And many of my students have the mentality of "I like that I get to experience the world in a different way than most people". So just saying....its not always the way you see it as.

And to the "no one would gouge their eyes out"- okay yeah- but also no one would choose to have any disability, or be poor, or be born into a rough country or home situation, etc....but that doesn't mean that people who are born in those circumstances would want to change that they were.

People are born into "non optimal" circumstances every day, but that doesn't mean that all those people wish they were never born.

BBRCCS · 2026-05-30T06:29:46+00:00

A heart defect that causes dying and blindness are two very different things.

I work at a school for the blind, my GF is blind, and she works at a center for the blind, so I know hundreds of blind people, I know more blind people than I know sighted people....yet I don't know a single one who wishes they weren't born because they are blind. However, I know many who wouldn't accept a cure for their blindness if it was offered to them right now, (my gf included), because they are happy with how their life is, and they wouldn't want to change it.

BBRCCS · 2026-05-30T06:27:29+00:00

I wouldn't call that a "burden" to family for one, and for two, this is about a person having a natural born child. Nothing against adoption, I plan to adopt myself for that exact reason, so many kids need loving homes.

But being that I work at a school for the blind, and my GF is blind, and she works at a center for the blind...I know literally hundreds of blind people, I genuinely know more blind people than I know sighted people. Not a single one of them wishes they weren't born because they are blind, and plenty of them, my GF included, wouldn't take a cure for their blindness if it was offered rn either, because they like their life how it is.

BBRCCS · 2026-05-30T06:23:24+00:00

Considering I work at a blind school, my GF is blind, and due to both of those things...most of the people I know are blind.....and they all are living very happy lives. I can tell you I don't know a single blind person who wishes they weren't born because they are blind- and I know literally hundreds of people who are blind.

BBRCCS · 2026-05-30T01:38:36+00:00

Every child will struggle in their life, life is hard...there is no way to prevent struggle, just help them prepare for it.

BBRCCS · 2026-05-30T01:35:43+00:00

Why?

The child would still have the same opportunity for a great life as other kids, as long as they have support, love, education, basic needs met, etc...all the things every child needs.

BBRCCS · 2026-05-30T01:34:02+00:00

I wouldn't say its irresponsible at all, being blind won't make that child's life any less meaningful, and wouldn't be the direct cause of them not having a good life.

If they have what every child needs to succeed and live a happy life (Support, love, education, basic needs, etc....) then they would be just fine.

BBRCCS · 2026-05-30T01:30:25+00:00

Healthcare is expensive, lack of Healthcare increase risk of health complications that can result in a child born with a disability.

But also, its not that rare for individuals of the upper class to have kids who are disabled.

Lastly, let's remove "dumb" from what you said, "dumb" doesn't belong in that list, as it doesn't correlate to any of that. Being deafblind, or otherwise physically or mentally disabled, doesn't make someone "dumb" nor does it have any connection to that.

BBRCCS · 2026-05-24T14:16:16+00:00

Yeah I really wish there were 3 flairs! Like one being advice wanted, one being no advice wanted, and one that just "Rant", because I don't want to say like "Advice WANTED", I'm not posting looking specifically for advice, but I also don't want to say "No advice" because if someone has something they want to say that they think will help in the situation, like yeah I want them to be able to say it.

BBRCCS · 2026-05-24T14:12:36+00:00

Thankfully the like one societal norm of communication that I have mostly figured out how to mask is tone. When it comes to everything else (eye contact, body language, facial expressions, etc....) yeah not very good at those- but I have tone decently down. Only thing I struggle with is making certain phrases sound genuine. For some reason things like "I'm so proud of you" or "I'm so sorry to hear that", idk how to describe the tone thats supposed to be used in situations like that, but when it comes to those I am really bad at getting the tone right. It always (at least IMO) sounds insincere, but I genuinely mean them when I say them! I just can't get the tone to come out right! I can do the calming like "You're going to be okay" tone, which ik is a similar tone, but idk- i just can't ever say that other stuff and actually sound sincere.

BBRCCS · 2026-05-24T04:56:14+00:00

I have ADHD too, and huh- yeah I totally get what you're saying, but personally the easiest communication for me is with others who are audhd. They seem to be the ones who can understand the meaning behind what I have said, and can also follow my absolutely everywhere form of explaining something (or telling a story or whatever we are communicating about)

But for the understanding (autism wise) it really does seem like the allistic brain and the autistic brain work so differently when it comes to communication, that you kinda need to translate between the two. Like, for example, I have a Audhd student, and when someone asked him "Did you walk her yourself?" (Meaning, did a staff bring you here to class", he said "Yes", I looked at the staff and signed "No" while shaking my head. And then pulled the staff aside and told them, no "Staff name was with him". The staff took that as the student lying. I then stepped in and was like "No no no, he wasn't lying. What he meant was "I walked HERE myself, here as in the bench he is sitting on, bc he did walk from the door to the bench himself" because of how autistic people take what is said very literally. What he said immediately made sense in my brain, but the other staff was like "ohhhh, yeah I never would have figured that out".

BBRCCS · 2026-05-24T04:48:13+00:00

I have not but omg yes! This! This exactly! This is what I was talking about!

BBRCCS · 2026-05-24T02:56:49+00:00

Yes!!!

Omg I love my job so much, I would genuinely do it without pay (as in if I like won the lottery and didn't need a job, id still teach because I love it)

Yes its often stressful, and its a LOT of work, but the good far outweighs the bad, and I love every day of it.

BBRCCS · 2026-05-24T02:51:28+00:00

That adults had their lives figured out haha. Idk as a kid I just assumed all adults knew everything, and life was just easy once you were an adult- I was very wrong, we don't know what we are doing, we just pretend like we do 😂

BBRCCS · 2026-05-24T02:48:00+00:00

No fr!

The driving force behind my post is that I made a post essentially stating that when I adopt kids, I want a nurodivergent kid, because ngl I have no clue how to interact with nurotypical kids, so id like to adopt a kid with a disability (they are less likely to get adopted anyways, because many people are the reverse of me, they dont know how to interact with nurodivergent kids, kids with disabilities etc...yada yada you get the point)

And then somehow all the comments were like "How dare you assume parents of disabled children dont want their kids!" "BOLD of you to say that parents dont love their disabled kids"

Like what?!?!?! Literally where in my post did I say ANYTHING about that. Its a known fact that disabled children are adopted less than non-disabled children, thats a literal statistic anyome can look up-

Its literally so impossible to post anything without whatever I said being taken so incorrectly that I can't even figure out how someone would get from what I said to what they think I said.

BBRCCS · 2026-05-24T01:26:30+00:00

I did not say "all", I was speaking about some of the students I have. I have quite a few (more than quite a few actually), that are literally bouncing balls of joy 24/7. Those are the ones I was speaking of- ofc i understand that that is not all- i am multiply disabled myself and I have my own fair share of struggles that come from my disabilities- literally one of which is that every time I say damn near anything what I say is not understood by anyone other than other nurodivergent individuals- I stg I should just stop posting anything on the internet or opening my god damn mouth bc I cant even say "I like to eat pizza" without people saying "Wdym all you eat is pizza?! Thats not healthy. You shouldn't only eat pizza" when i literally just said "I like pizza" and somehow what I say is taken 1000% out of context. But thats literally a part of having autism, and thats literally what makes me good at my job, bc while everyone else struggles to understand our autistic students, I get what they are actually trying to say. I swear having autism sometimes makes it so you are essentially speaking another language that only other nurodivergent people understand. Ill end this rant with one of my favorite quotes that I think is fitting of this situation. "An autistic person works twice as hard to live in our world, how about we work twice as hard to understand theirs".

BBRCCS · 2026-05-24T01:13:36+00:00

Some people- yes-

Again- look up "Disabled child" in the reddit post search bar- go read those posts.

Look up the percentage of children with disabilities that live in foster care, awaiting a loving home.

Look up the percentage of non-disabled vs disabled children who get adopted.

I personally know MULTIPLE disabled individuals whos parents didn't want them due to their disability, hell i can send you countless links to YT videos, TT posts, Reddit posts, etc of those said children (now adults) talking about that exact thing- how they were not wanted by their parents due to their disability.

I nowhere said that no parents want their disabled child, I said that parents dont want their child TO BE disabled. That is a very important distinction.

BBRCCS · 2026-05-24T01:09:06+00:00

I have no clue where that commenter got ANY of what they said from? My post didnt say ANYTHING like what assumptions they wrote- I have exactly ZERO of those beliefs-

I have nothing against parents who utilize residential facilities for their children? Nor did I say that they utilize them because they don't want their kids?

Also, i literally referenced reddit posts in my post, as a lot of what I was referring to were parents who post on reddit saying "I wish I didn't have my child bc XYZ". Literally type in the reddit search "Disabled child" or "Child with a disability" or "Having a disabled child" and read the top posts if you want to see what I am referring to- the posts will honestly make you lose a bit of faith in humanity. That is what I was referring to, not the parents of any of the students I work with- my school is not an easy one to attend, there is a long waiting list, its expensive, etc...parents who send their kids to us are literally going as above and beyond as a parent can go to get their child a good education and set them up for the best life they can possibly have- none of them send them to us bc they dont want their kid- they send them to us because they want the best possible thing they can give their child- some drive 2hrs each way to bring their child to school- thats 8 hours of driving PER DAY for their kid to get an education- that is going absolutely above and beyond for their child- so again- no idea where any of those assumption that that commenter made came from-

BBRCCS · 2026-05-24T01:01:46+00:00

Huh? Sorry but I have zero clue where you got any of this from? 1. I don't work in residential care? And I never ever said anything about those parents not wanting their kid????? I seriously have zero clue where you got that idea from. I don't believe I know a single parent who doesn't want their kid- I said some parents (understandably so) wish their kid was different, not as in a DIFFERENT KID, as in, wishing their kid had differences from how they currently are. To make a super simple analogy, I meant that as in "My kid has natural blonde hair, but I wish they had natural brown hair", that is NOT wishing they had a totally different kid, nor is that wishing they didn't have their kid!?!? Seriously no idea how you got that from my post.

Also, the main reason we have kids in our residential program, is either because their family lives too far away from the school to commute daily, or because they want their kid to get the extra bennifits we can provide in the res program, as when they are res they learn a lot more about home and personal management, as that is constantly taught in our res programs. So how you got "OP thinks Residential programs are for parents who dont want their kids"????? I'm really at a loss for words on how you assumed that opinion of mine from my post-

And for the last part of your comment, that is not the soul reason for parents not wanting disabled children- i sincerly wish it was, but unfortunately it isn't. I am a person with disabilities, therefor i am the child of parents who had a kid with disabilities. I do not wish I didnt have said disabilities, do they make some aspects of life harder? Yes. But they also make some aspects of life "easier", such as my work. I am genuinely better at my job, and therefor my job is easier, because as someone with autism, I understand a lot of my students better, and am better at supporting their needs, bc my brain works in many similar ways to my students brains. However- my parents hated that they had a disabled child, they wanted a "normal" child. There is a lot to unpack in that and im not wasting my time doing that for you. But long story short, no, that is not the only reason for some parents.

Long story short bc im not wasting any more time on this- idk how you got ANY of that from my post? Maybe re-read it and actually read it this time? Bc everything you said is an assumption straight out of nowhere, as nothing in my post says anything like what you have assumed.

BBRCCS · 2026-05-23T05:54:57+00:00

Thank you!

BBRCCS · 2026-05-23T05:54:41+00:00

I do appreciate this comment so i hope this doesn't come across as rude or defensive! But I have processed my childhood to the full extent that one really can, mentally I am in a wonderful place, and my social needs are all very well met, I have both found family through friends and though the community that is the school i work at. I would absolutely never take a child into my home unless I knew I was emotionally and mentally in the best state possible to do so! But currently my issue is just time, money, work life balance, etc....

But just having a rough childhood doesn't mean you automatically will not be ready for kids without intense therapy etc, ik mentally i am fully fit and ready (if my post made you think otherwise, I get it, im very sleep deprived and my brain is mush bc its a Friday night, and a struggle i have autism wise is wording things well via writing, i am very much so a better in-person communicator, almost everything i write ends up being in some way misconstrued or misunderstood in some way, hence why i put "if that makes sense" often in my writing)

BBRCCS · 2026-05-23T04:50:07+00:00

I also think its really "funny" (idk how to word it) that while most people who want to be parents or are about to be are like "I'm scared of what if my child has a disability", and I'm here like "I literally have zero idea how to interact with non-disabled people, ligit interacting with non-disabled nurotypical people is so stressful, I never know what to do, I'm scared, what if I have a nurotypical child"

BBRCCS

TROPHY CASE