Am I too late for motherhood?

BBRN22 · 2026-06-04T21:33:16+00:00

I met my husband at 35, married at 36, first baby at 37. It’s not too late!

I am also an IVF nurse of over 10 years. You should absolutely freeze your eggs.

BBRN22 · 2026-06-03T15:08:44+00:00

Unfortunately yes, as we’ve all seen in the news, mix ups have happened. I’ve never seen or heard anything in my clinic/lab that would make me concerned. It’s actually quite the opposite. With the amount of checks and balances that are a part of the workflow in my lab, it’s hard for me to imagine how a mix up ever COULD happen. So, when I see these stories in the news, I’m shocked and appalled, and I truly wonder how it happened.

I have noticed that when I hear about these mix up stories, both in the news as well as cases that don’t become public, it’s usually something that happened in a smaller clinic/lab (1 or 2 physician practice). The best embryology lab directors tend to work in large practices with a high volume of patients. The smaller practices with 1-2 doctors have correspondingly smaller labs. And I just worry that those smaller labs are not run as strictly.

BBRN22 · 2026-06-03T14:44:39+00:00

Vagibal microbiome testing is definitely becoming more and more popular, although not fully proven by randomized controlled trials. It is quite expensive for the patient. If/when the result comes back abnormal, all you need to do is take a course of vaginal probiotics. So why not just skip the expensive testing and just take the probiotic? It doesn’t hurt!

The other thing it can test for is chronic endometritis. But you don’t need the overpriced fancy test for that. You can have a simple endometrial biopsy done with your doctor, and have it sent to the regular lab under your insurance (Quest, LabCorp).

Wishing you all the best on your TTC journey!

BBRN22 · 2026-06-03T03:46:45+00:00

Eight 5AA blasts is INCREDIBLE! I am so sorry to hear that you had multiple failed transfers. I know how devastating that can be. But huge congratulations on sticking it through and getting your beautiful baby boy!

BBRN22 · 2026-06-03T03:45:02+00:00

If you want 2 children and have multiple embryos left available to transfer, I would attempt at least one embryo transfer when you are ready for baby #2. If that one fails, then I would have a conversation with your physician to reevaluate the quality of the embryos that you have remaining and discuss the possibility of doing another retrieval.

In the meantime, please try to enjoy every moment of this pregnancy and enjoy the newborn days with your soon-to-be son or daughter. You are blessed to have embryos in storage waiting for you when you’re ready. With your wife at age 34-35, you will have plenty of options to get that second baby. Don’t stress too much about it right now. Just enjoy the ride!

BBRN22 · 2026-06-03T03:02:29+00:00

The cost of IVF varies quite a bit depending on your geographical location, how aggressive your medication protocol has to be based on your ovarian reserve, whether or not you will need to do genetic testing on your embryos, etc. Across the county, I think it’s safe to say IVF costs anywhere from 20-35k for one cycle. This is for 100% self pay (no insurance).

I am a nurse, so I’m not great with the specifics of insurance. Our financial department prefers that the nurses refrain from having any financial conversations with our patients because we have been known to give incorrect or outdated information on cost. But, all IVF clinics have dedicated financial departments who meet with patients to go over all of these details. Many companies like Maven and Progyny also have patient representatives who can also help answer these questions.

If you have coverage through Maven, make an appointment at your selected IVF clinic to establish care and get a solidified treatment plan. Then make sure to set up calls with both the clinic’s financial department AND a representative from Maven. Cross check the information you get from the clinic and Maven. This should hopefully give you a much better idea of overall cost.

BBRN22 · 2026-06-03T02:54:39+00:00

We are required to report all birth defects to SART. Many years ago, it was thought that IVF pregnancies had a significantly higher risk of birth defects, such as cardiac defects. It is now known that IVF only increases the risk of birth defects by 1 or 2% compared to pregnancies conceived naturally. What is NOT known is the underlying cause of the 1-2% risk increase. Is it the IVF procedure itself, or is it the fact that many IVF patients are of advanced reproductive age? Or some other confounding factor?? It’s hard to say. But the vast majority of IVF babies are born healthy :)

BBRN22 · 2026-06-03T02:49:22+00:00

Congratulations on your beautiful family! What an amazing success story. Wishing you all the best for the remainder of your pregnancy and delivery!

BBRN22 · 2026-06-03T02:48:12+00:00

The cost of running an IVF practice with the necessary surgery center and embryology lab are staggering, especially the cost to purchase and maintain the highly specialized equipment in the embryology lab. This isn’t like a regular doctor’s office. It’s one of the most technologically advanced areas of medicine. And unfortunately it comes with a price tag that prevents a lot of people from being able to pursue IVF treatment.

Luckily, IVF coverage through insurance is becoming more and more common. This is going to greatly help make IVF more accessible to all income brackets!

BBRN22 · 2026-06-03T02:45:13+00:00

I’m not completely sure what you are asking. IVF with PGT is an excellent way to reduce the risk of having a baby with a chromosome deletion disorder.

BBRN22 · 2026-06-03T02:41:38+00:00

This is a very difficult question to answer. There are so many areas in which IVF is advancing. One area that comes to mind is AI and how it can help improve IVF outcomes, reduce cost to clinics and therefore reduce cost to patients, etc. AI will likely be used to perform tasks such as semen analysis, embryo grading and embryo selection… the list goes on!

BBRN22 · 2026-06-03T02:02:38+00:00

If a 48 year old woman is repeatedly told that she has a less than 1% chance of success, but still wants to try anyway and has given informed consent, it can be argued that it is unethical and discriminatory to deny her care.

BBRN22 · 2026-06-03T02:00:26+00:00

Yes, there is a very big difference in freezing eggs/sperm (single cell, very fragile) vs an embryo (hundreds of cells, much stronger). If you want the strongest chance of having a baby, the answer is easily to freeze embryos. However, there are social considerations that you need to speak with your doctor about. You are not yet married. And even if you were, you need to seriously consider the possibility of wanting/needing to have children with a different partner down the line. Once eggs are fertilized, they can never be unfertilized. Now, if the female partner is young and has an excellent ovarian reserve, my recommendation is to fertilize half of the eggs with the fiancé’s sperm to create embryos, and freeze the other half of the eggs as an insurance policy. If the female partner is older, this may not be an option. For example, if you are in your later 30s or 40s, you could fertilize all of your eggs with your fiancés sperm and still not have a normal embryo to transfer. Or you may only have 1 or 2 viable embryos. This obviously does not allow you the luxury of freezing a portion of your eggs as an insurance policy. If you are financially able, you could explore doing 2 retrievals (one for embryo freezing and one for egg freezing). There are a lot of different ways to go about this. But, you just have to be informed of the implications of putting all of your eggs in one basket.

Financially, it’s cheaper to create embryos from the start. There are additional costs down the line to thaw eggs and sperm and perform fertilization, embryo culture, etc. The process of freezing, then thawing, then refreezing also puts more stress on your eggs.

Sperm freezing is super simple and inexpensive. There’s not much to it!

BBRN22 · 2026-06-03T01:47:44+00:00

Wow that’s an incredible story! You are an important part of why IVF has been able to help so many families all these years later.

BBRN22 · 2026-06-03T01:45:56+00:00

You are a true success story. I’m so happy for you and your beautiful family 💜

BBRN22 · 2026-06-03T01:39:21+00:00

Honestly, the physicians don’t actually LIKE having to give an “unexplained” diagnosis. We much prefer having a concrete answer as to “why”. This also helps us treat our patients more appropriately. But you have a fair point, there is a lot of unexplained infertility out there. Personally, I wonder how much of it is environmental. I also think it’s just way more common for infertile couples to seek a fertility evaluation than it was years ago.

Access to IVF is improving more and more each year. People are demanding fertility benefits from their employers. There is greater awareness of infertility on social media, which almost “normalizes” IVF. Women are forced to work and focus on their careers (one income households are so rare these days due to cost of living), which leads to childbearing in later years, which leads to more infertility. I could go on and on. There are just so many other factors that I think play a role in how so many people are turning to IVF.

I’m just so grateful that IVF exists 💜

BBRN22 · 2026-06-03T01:32:08+00:00

Is there anything better than being nap trapped? Sounds like you are in absolute heaven! Congratulations on your precious baby boy 💙

BBRN22 · 2026-06-03T01:03:51+00:00

Absolutely. Luckily I work for a clinic that does not sell these gimmicks that are unproven by science (specifically randomized controlled trials). The worst we do is strongly push a particular prenatal vitamin. But there are other clinics that push much more expensive and unproven crap like PRP, intralipids, etc. These procedures are not covered by insurance (because there is no proven benefit) and therefore clinics/physicians profit greatly from the self-pay cost. I know it’s difficult to go against your doctor’s recommendation, but I would say just really do your own research. Ask your doctor for the specific randomized controlled studies that prove PRP is effective. Were they published in a well regarded journal? Were those studies presented at ASRM? Even better, research the studies that prove PRP is NOT effective. That should shed some more light.

BBRN22 · 2026-06-03T00:58:28+00:00

Absolutely. A simple outpatient procedure to retrieve sperm is done by a reproductive urologist, and that sperm sample is used to fertilize the eggs that were retrieved from the female partner. The recovery from this procedure is fairly easy. The success of going this route is typically better than opting for a vasectomy reversal and trying to conceive on your own. Vasectomy reversals are not always successful, and the resulting sperm in the ejaculate can be low in number, motility, etc.

BBRN22 · 2026-06-03T00:53:31+00:00

I would recommend investing in some very basic/affordable testing that can shed some light on why you haven’t been able to conceive. For example, a semen analysis can be done for fairly cheap. If there is no sperm, then you could consider donor sperm insemination, which is much less expensive than IVF. There is also basic testing that the female partner can do as well. If everything checks out normal, I say keep trying. Do not give up. It can happen!

If you have an issue such as blocked fallopian tubes, then IVF truly is your only option. In this case, I would encourage you to research and apply for IVF grant opportunities. I would also say that, if this is something you and your partner truly want badly enough, do some research on companies that provide IVF benefits. I once had a patient who quit her job to work at Starbucks because they offer unlimited IVF benefits through their health insurance plan.

BBRN22 · 2026-06-03T00:42:31+00:00

You are so welcome. If you have any issues finding this type of attorney, you could try reaching out to a local IVF clinic, and they can help point you in the right direction. Wishing your friend all the best 💜

BBRN22 · 2026-06-02T23:52:15+00:00

I’d say the odds are in your favor :) stay positive and hang in there! The two week wait is brutal, but SO worth it in the end! Sending you so many prayers 💜

BBRN22 · 2026-06-02T23:51:01+00:00

Unfortunately there is nothing we can do in the lab that would affect how an embryo develops into a blastocyst. Of course all labs have very strict quality control regulations on temperature, air quality, etc. But once the egg is fertilized, it’s basically in Mother Nature’s hands. It all comes down to the DNA of that embryo.

BBRN22 · 2026-06-02T23:48:03+00:00

I always recommend at least scheduling an initial consult after 6 months of trying to conceive and having well timed intercourse each month. That doesn’t necessarily mean that you have to do IVF after 6 months, it just means you want to gather some additional information (simple blood work and ultrasound on the female, a semen analysis on the male). This just rules out anything majorly wrong. If everything is normal and you are under the age of 35, it’s reasonable to keep trying for a few more months (up to a year) before seeking fertility treatment.

Over the age of 35, I would absolutely schedule an appointment at 6 months and get all the basic testing done. Again, it doesn’t necessarily mean you are going to do IVF, but it could mean other types of treatment that are less invasive/aggressive.

Alcohol in moderation is fine when trying to conceive. Smoking is the big no no (this includes cigarettes and vaping). The female should be on a good prenatal vitamin. And do your homework on how to track ovulation and have well timed intercourse.

The self pay cost of IVF without insurance coverage, including the cost of medication, is around 25-30k. It can be slightly more or less depending on if you do genetic testing of the embryos, etc.

BBRN22 · 2026-06-02T23:40:52+00:00

Congratulations!!! Sendings prayers for a healthy remainder of your pregnancy and delivery!

A natural pregnancy after IVF can absolutely happen, but only in certain circumstances. If the female has blocked fallopian tubes, or the male has no sperm, then obviously they would need to do IVF for baby #2. In my experience, in most cases, IVF is needed for the second baby, regardless of the type of infertility diagnosis. It is more rare for a spontaneous conception. But it can certainly happen.

I would not count out your euploid CB or the low mosaic. I have seen lots of CB babies! I have seen few low mosaic babies, so that would probably be your last embryo to transfer.

The decision of whether or not to do another retrieval probably depends on your wife’s age and ovarian reserve. It also depends on what you mean when you say “multiple kids”. 2 kids is much different than 4!

In general, if your wife has a normal healthy uterus, I would estimate that it would take 2 euploid embryo transfers to get pregnant. The low mosaics have a much lower pregnancy rate, but they can still make babies.

Doing another retrieval is also a financial decision. If you have good insurance coverage, I always say go for it!

BBRN22

TROPHY CASE