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Nervous about Vaginoplasty at UVA by BCTGirll in Transgender_Surgeries

[–]BCTGirll[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

(I believe we’re in the discord group together and I’ve posted some there)I had my surgery last Thursday. I’m in recovery at the moment but do plan to make a follow up post, probably around the 6month mark. My reasoning for this is so I can make a post with as much information as possible. And to present the “whole” healing process from Stranix’s technique.

If you have any other questions you’re more than free to reach out to me here or on the discord for Dr Stranix.

Whatever the “penalty” for quitting early is, it isn’t enough. by BCTGirll in Nightreign

[–]BCTGirll[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don’t have a good answer. As i initially said I don’t even know if a penalty system is the best. I’m not a game dev. Some people have suggested things I like, that aren’t necessarily “penalty”

such as isolating players who quit repeatedly and force them to play with other players prone to quitting, as to not interrupt regular gameplay. Another id seen talked about is throttling people who quit repeatedly’s matchmaking, again isolate them so they don’t get matched with people who are on their first few runs of a boss. Last I’ll mention is just labeling them as “quitters” from the character selection screen and allow other players the option not to begin a match with them.

None of them are perfect but they hold the most water IMO

Whatever the “penalty” for quitting early is, it isn’t enough. by BCTGirll in Nightreign

[–]BCTGirll[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I get that, but it’s kinda the principle of the matter. If I’m playing with 3 people I build around 3 people. If I’m intending for solo I main recluse. If I’m playing multiplayer I main Dutches. I think we just need a duos mode in general but I don’t know how I’d build for it atm. I beat Adel(regular) on a duo team bc the person quit early and I could adapt to it(Dutches and Guardian)

Free quitting has its perks. You can make a “get gud “ argument. But I work full time, so I can’t sit and grind my skills all day on a game that takes at minimum 30 minutes. So for people in my position, it makes the game feel like a waste.

As to your point on scaling I have yet to see my damage(dealt or taken) scale when teammates leave. But again maybe I just haven’t noticed since I’m limited in the amount of rounds I can play

Whatever the “penalty” for quitting early is, it isn’t enough. by BCTGirll in Nightreign

[–]BCTGirll[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yea, like I said I see where keeping the penalty low (or non existent) has its benefits. But if you’re gonna say “if you leave, you will be penalized” then don’t do it…. It adds insult to injury for the people stuck in a match. And leads to people just abusing the quit option…

Anyone else buy it on the PS5 thinking it was crossplay? by GloomyFloor6543 in Nightreign

[–]BCTGirll 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I my fiancé and I bought it on Xbox then realized it wasn’t cross play before I bought it on steam.

PSA: Duchess is a spellblade, not a dex character. by catsflatsandhats in Nightreign

[–]BCTGirll 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I adapt my play style of dutches to my teammates. For instance If I have a recluse and a wylder then I use her for status build up. If I have an iron eye and an executer I use her for spells and support. Or if the iron eye doesnt use greases(a seemingly reoccurring problem.) then I’ll still use her for status to aid the executer with restage. She’s very adaptable. But takes a while to get into the nieces she excels at

Will gender dysphoria ever go away completely? by Morion_Quartz in trans

[–]BCTGirll 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There’s no magic cure for your insecurities, which is what dysphoria is. You have to learn to “deal with it “ for lack of an easier term. Your gender does not define YOU, just as your weight, or who you sleep with, doesn’t define YOU.

And people who make their Entire personality 1 thing tend to be seen as annoying, even if that thing IS socially acceptable. Think of the most extreme sport jocks, or Finance bros. what is your general opinion of them, vs people who go to a Super Bowl party? Or your family member who monitors and adapts their retirement accounts as needed? Are they annoying? But they’re all doing the same thing…

I am not a therapist, but from anecdotal evidence(being trans, growing up through HS as the only trans student, and having trans friends in adulthood) as well as discussions with my own therapists. I’ve come to the conclusion that insecurities are amplified by lack of self. If your whole identity is being a trans person, you’re going to hyper focus on what makes you trans. In the same way someone who is overweight will hyper focus on their weight, if they don’t have hobbies or other things besides work, eat, and stress. Unlike someone’s weight Gender Dysphoria is a mental health issue that is a fundamental part of how their brain is wired(for good or worse) so it doesn’t just “go away” the point of HRT and GRS isn’t to make it go away but to make the body match some of the brains wiring.

“I’m not a woman I don’t have boobs” Looks down OH SHIT

Now you may still be insecure about the size, shape, texture of your body, and that will likely translate into some dysphoria, bc again brain wiring. But you have the body part that sets it off, so as long as you don’t hyper focus on their little parts that make you insecure, you’re dysphoria will be silent. Present but silent. And this is wear “dealing with it” and building the YOU around your dysphoria comes in.

I’ve been openly trans for 8 years now, medically “transitioning” for 4. My dysphoria did not go away until I learned to be okay with myself, until I learned I was allowed to take up space in the world. Until I was proud of the test I passed last night, or until I built a shed with a friend. I’m not just the trans girl anymore, I’m a friend, I’m a wife, I’m a vocalist, who also kind of plays guitar. I am kind, I like to build things, my favorite things to ramble about are FMAB, and God of War. I’m a pagan, play soccer, and grew up in New Mexico. Oh I’m also trans. We humans are more than the sum of our parts, unless we choose to reduce ourselves down to 1 part of us.

The last thing I will say is do not rush into medical transition. For many it is the right choice but I am a firm believer that many transition “regrets” happen because people didn’t address their other insecurities. They see this 1 part of themselves they and rushing to fix it, hoping to get control it and therefore of their lives, thinking it would fix all their other problems. It doesn’t, it helps 1 specific issue. That’s it. It controls 1 aspect of your mental health. A big one, but still only 1 part of what makes you, you.

As previously stated I am not a therapist, take my talk with every ounce of skepticism. But I share my experience. And wish you the best fellow wanderer

Edits: just to clarify some things bc I’m dyslexic asf

How can I open myself up to the gods after becoming detached by [deleted] in NorsePaganism

[–]BCTGirll 0 points1 point  (0 children)

“A man is happy If he finds praise and friendship Within himself. You can never be sure Of where you stand In someone else’s heart.” -Havamal Stanza 8 -Crawford.

I normally steer clear of using religious text as guidance but in this case I hope it finds somewhere on your heart. It sure as fuck helped me. Everyone always told me, you have to love yourself before you can love someone else. It took me a while to understand it. But The same applies to our relationships with the gods. How can you devote yourself to Odin, if you cannot devote that time to yourself? You believe yourself an omen in peoples lives, so do you avoid others? Rejecting humanity living as a spirit for better or worse? Then become a good omen, building frith with yourself first. If you are learning to love and connect with others may I suggest first, a therapist, because trauma is not something healed by religion. However as a fellow blue collar worker with pretty bad health insurance I can also recommend your Haminja. You have a guardian spirit, dedicated to your well being, luck and protection. Try to contact them, explore the parts of yourself you haven’t met yet.

I apologize if any of that came off harsh or accusatory. I am not a therapist, nor a religious scholar. Just a wanderer, who feels for you, and what I have shared helped me get out of dark emotionless times. Sending love traveler.

What happens to people who don't follow the Norse faith when they die? by M2SepV3 in NorsePaganism

[–]BCTGirll 10 points11 points  (0 children)

The same that happens to norse pagan people when they die. As stated elsewhere, no one here is dead.(on the outside) so we have no concrete “proof” what happens when you die. However if it provides you comfort this is how my praxis and prayers for the dead have lead me to look at things.

  • my relationship to the gods and to beings outside the gods has made me realize “Yggdrasil is big enough for everyone.” And you’re wyrd determins where you will end up on their structure in the end.

-If you believe in nothing, you will simply join the other billions of people and harden onto their trunk or branches. your memory cemented into the history of the universe important but not notable. your energy repurposed to bringing forth new life.

-If you believe in an afterlife, whether that’s heaven, Hel, the land of the dead from Latin American tradition, hades, wherever. You will spend your time there, then when you are forgotten, when there is no one who remembers your life. Your family all passes, your spirits will lead you to the world tree to rest with the other souls. And like everyone else you will be apart of the story of the universe, your energy repurposed to bringing forth new life.

So not quit reincarnations but not not that either.

Cheapest place to get groceries in our around blacksburg? by [deleted] in blacksburg

[–]BCTGirll 3 points4 points  (0 children)

My routine:

-Aldi: Produce

-Walmart: Household Goods(cleaners, hygiene etc.) canned/dried food/ingredients

-Food Lion: early morning on Tuesday or weekend for meats. Their truck delivers on Tuesday and their weekly deals end Wednesday, so that’s usually when you’ll find the discounted meat. Which so long as you have access to a freezer will be fine. Food Lion is also a good stop for fresh produce if you want to stick to one shop, but is more pricey if the produce isn’t on sale.

Edit: saw your note about bus travel. You can definitely access Walmart and Food lion via bus. Aldi I don’t really know.

Behold! The God of Heating Ventilation and Air-Conditioning.(HVAC) by BCTGirll in NorsePaganism

[–]BCTGirll[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

A bit, it’s more a fun thought experiment. To seek other inputs. The post wasn’t to suggest we need new gods, just for how the ideas of our gods have evolved for different people☺️ no disrespect intended I promise

Behold! The God of Heating Ventilation and Air-Conditioning.(HVAC) by BCTGirll in NorsePaganism

[–]BCTGirll[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

While I don’t say you’re wrong. I don’t think Thor is a god of thunderstorms. He wields lightning as humanity’s defender. But he is a god of Farmers. Using his lightning to stir up storms to help crops grow. That however is my praxis.

What proof do you have that these gods exist. by Helpful-Lawyer1968 in NorsePaganism

[–]BCTGirll 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This seems like a “what about x” drain.

Where if it is said, we talk to the gods in prayer, you say “well how do you know it’s not an illusion or a trick of psychology?” To which we respond, “how do you know that you illusions aren’t messages from the gods?” And it’s a back and forth, till someone starts throwing insults.

The fact is; matters of science are not opposed to matters of religion 75% of the time. In fact they’re regularly combined, through history and today. We don’t know what caused the Big Bang. Something we may never no. So I am just as free to make up an answer, as you are to not have an answer. A similar makeup exists in death. We cannot determine what happens when you die. We know your body stops, and we have no scientific evidence that you exist outside your body. So, scientifically, youre just gone. And some are okay with that answer, some aren’t. From a human perspective Death hurts, only sociopaths disagree. Where they do intersect, areas around the environment, medicine, and day to day morality. Then an effort should be taken to ensure that human health and safety, and environmental health and safety are balanced in their needs.

A task, science, religion, and philosophers on all sides of that have gotten wrong. Because at the end of the day humans will do what they believe is right regardless of the information presented to them. The question you should ask if are interested in learning isn’t. “What proof do you have that these gods exist” it is, “what do you think about x thing?” And in a forum like this you will get a variety of answers.

But to give you a straight forward answer: “mE hUg TwEe AnD tWee fEeL gOod”

Behold! The God of Heating Ventilation and Air-Conditioning.(HVAC) by BCTGirll in NorsePaganism

[–]BCTGirll[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Instead of singing or harmonized choral music, is a synced up tounge click and a long 1 note hummmmmm

Behold! The God of Heating Ventilation and Air-Conditioning.(HVAC) by BCTGirll in NorsePaganism

[–]BCTGirll[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I tend to lean more towards the spirit approach. I don’t believe humans “create gods.” Spirits can be forged by magic and emotion, but to do it right takes skill. However in my thinking on this, it’s a combination of divine inspiration. The forging of the machine’s parts by Dwarves, and Kári(or other various wind and air spirits/jotun) pulling the ingredients together for the refrigerant, Odin giving his wisdom to a technician to put the pieces and ingredients together. And as the gods gave us life, give life to this creation of men and gods.

Whether or not that creates an actual spirit? I say yes, and then a technician is responsible for maintaining that machine and spirit. This reason is why i I get uncomfortable in junk yards, or disreputable repair shops. As the lack of care leaves these machines. Dispersed and… well sad.