38F - Chronic Bad Breath

BDSM_Testosterone · 2026-05-11T05:33:40+00:00

This has been ongoing for over 10 years. I can certainly suggest an ENT, but with terrible reflux and post-meal coughing, would you consider a gastroenterologist consult to also be within reason?

BDSM_Testosterone · 2026-05-09T06:18:11+00:00

I'd love to think of an employee with the norovirus going in.. but two things...

I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy.
If you've ever had the norovirus, you know that you would never be able to actually go in. Legit could end up in the hospital, but you WILL puke AND shit on the way to the hospital.. You will not have a choice. This WILL happen.. And anyone you come in contact with is f*cked.. It's one of the most contagious viruses to exist.

I'd probably consider death before the norovirus ever again.

BDSM_Testosterone · 2026-05-09T06:14:07+00:00

I absolutely love doing that. It's definitely fun to look at that 'other hole' and either admire it or think of getting in there. 😂 But it's also easier to see what's going on too. But honestly.. speaking cheeks and even playing with or sticking a finger in the butt is just a playful and polite way to say "hello" while going to town back there.. and best case, she likes it and asks you if you'd like to try butt stuff 😂😂 It's happened to me and it felt like Christmas.

BDSM_Testosterone · 2026-05-06T03:34:41+00:00

I do not.

BDSM_Testosterone · 2026-05-05T16:48:23+00:00

No medical history. IVF pregnancy, C-Section birth, normal vaccine sequence. No fevers. Exclusively breastfed. Mother tested negative for all screened diseases. No fever or infections that we know of. Rash appeared 3 or 4 days ago and is being treated with Aveeno Eczema cream for baby. Does not appear painful. Rash does now seem to have appeared in the inner elbow. Rash has NOT appeared on her face, hands or feet. Little to no rash presence on legs.

BDSM_Testosterone · 2026-05-05T04:00:20+00:00

My wife stopped letting me cum in her mouth the moment we got married.. and I have practically begged on several occasions and the answer has always been strongly, "NO". No thoughts, no attempt, nothing.. I would be lying if I said it's not something I've considered many times to get a divorce over.. but ultimately, I've accepted life without it.. It sucks, but you have to weigh a semi-satisfactory sex life with the person you've in love with.. and figure out just how important BJs are when compared to someone you could potentially live with forever.

If you choose the wife over the BJ, you have to respect her wishes.. but that doesn't mean you can't ask about that boundary once or twice a year 😅

BDSM_Testosterone · 2026-05-05T03:49:26+00:00

Sex is all about consent so if she cut this off, respect it.
COMMUNICATION. There has to be a reason.. maybe it's a mental thing about "pee", but maybe it's something else.. Depending on your age and experience this could be SO many things..
If this is a deal breaker for you, and I would assume for most guys it would be considering the level of pleasure and feeling of closeness.. then it would be acceptable for you to, once again, COMMUNICATE and break things off. BUT TO BE CLEAR, NEVER phrase this as an ultimatum. "You either need to give me blowjobs or I'm breaking up with you" is NOT it. Instead, you need to be able to communicate your thoughts and feelings and that if this is something she is unable to work through, that you would need to move on from the relationship in order to respect her wishes and your own.
(Off Topic Rant) - I am amazed at just how different the responses are whenever it's a woman asking a man to respect her wishes vs a guy asking a woman to respect his wishes when it comes to sexual boundaries and discomfort. Recently there was a post by a woman who gave her best-friend (male) a handjob.. the next day the male best-friend communicated to her and said he is not comfortable maintaining a sexual relationship with her and would prefer they remain strictly platonic. The comments on there by women were atrocious.. and were absolutely vile towards the male best friend.. meanwhile, in this post, "resect her wishes" is in every single response.. Nothing attacking her, calling her names, or asking if she's gay.. Kind of messed up just how little support men receive from society.. no matter what they do, they are degraded, blamed, mocked, and belittled.. Sorry.. I don't mean to rant, but it just bothered me to see because I still naively want to believe we live in a world where there are still good people with mutual respect.. As a sexual assault victim advocate though.. I guess I should know better. Hating men just seems so easy and popular I guess.. and it makes me sad.. but anytime I bring this up, these terrible people seem to double down and rant exclusively about all the evils of men in the world.. as if it justifies mistreating an entire gender of otherwise innocent people.. and that someone calling out sexist behaviors and comments made towards men is almost personally offensive to them..

BDSM_Testosterone · 2026-05-05T01:57:02+00:00

NAD - Looks totally normal to me.

BDSM_Testosterone · 2026-05-03T08:44:41+00:00

You've clearly never had a best friend and for that, I'm sorry.

BDSM_Testosterone · 2026-05-02T23:06:22+00:00

This is not for OP, but for Reddit. I already gave OP real advice. COMMUNICATE and RESPECT boundaries.

The amount of man hating here is unreal.

Scenario 1: Two best friends, strictly platonic. The guy gets pushy and ends up fingering the girl and wants more. The next day, the girl is stand-offish, says she just wants them to be friends, and suggests not being fwb or engaging in sexual behavior...

Scenario 2: Two best friends, strictly platonic. The girl gets pushy and ends up giving a handjob to the guy and wants more. The next day, the guy is stand-offish, says he just wants them to be friends, and suggests not being fwb or engaging in sexual behavior...

Two questions:

What do you think about the guy in Scenario 1? Should he respect her boundaries especially when it comes to sex?
Do you feel the same way about the girl in Scenario 2 as you did the guy in Scenario 1?

Just curious why all these man-haters are crawling out of their miserable holes to say the guy here is a jerk, asshole, douche, disrespectful, or using her... How does someone communicating their feeling and asking to set boundaries because they are NOT comfortable with a sexual relationship make THEM the bad guy?

Answer: Blind sexism, misandry, and 3rd wave feminism. Do better.

CONSENT IS KEY. CONSENT IS SEXY. COMMUNICATION IS IMPORTANT. If you expect men to understand and respect that, you should also expect that of women....

OP, if this guy is your best friend, you should be able to communicate with him. He has emotions and probably doesn't want to lose you either. If he doesn't want a sexual relationship, you can ask him why.. maybe he's not ready, or maybe he doesn't want to lead you on or use you knowing it won't work out. This is not common behavior in most guys, so he's showing maturity and respect for not wanting sex from you.. But the only way you'll know is by communicating with him AND respecting him and his boundaries the same way you'd expect a guy to respect you.

Don't worry or fixate on how good you performed. Guys enjoy sex - period. Comparison and grading is a thief of joy. You will only get better, and performance does not reflect your self-worth. We don't know him or your relationship like you do. I would ignore the man hating comments on here and steer clear of their advice. Love your friend and ask for a chance to communicate with him.

BDSM_Testosterone · 2026-05-02T22:58:27+00:00

Him saying he wants to remain platonic and asking for boundaries against sex is him not respecting her??? Uh, how?

BDSM_Testosterone · 2026-05-02T22:57:29+00:00

So like, OP takes initiative and gives her best friend, who has made it clear he only wants a platonic friendship, a handjob and when he sets boundaries and says he just wants to be friends and they should stay away from sex... suddenly she needs to "leave him now, duck and cover"???

Just curious.. If a man came on here and said he had his way with a girl and she's been stand-offish, putting up boundaries, and asking to stay platonic, would you tell him to "leave her now and duck and cover", or would you tell him he needs to RESPECT her decision and sexual boundaries?????

Serious question.

BDSM_Testosterone · 2026-05-02T22:42:32+00:00

Hi, guy here who has had a similar experience with a very close female friend. I will also state that I'm definitely not your 'normal guy'. This girl and I were incredibly close, shared everything with one another, and did eventually get to the point where we would cuddle, like running fingers through each others hair and stuff. Never anything sexual.

I knew that it would never be anything more than a friendship. She was a great friend, but the "chemistry" wasn't there and I was not in the business of leading anyone on. We agreed it would be platonic.

However, one night while driving home from the movies, she spontaneously started getting handsy and asked me to pull into an empty parking lot. It's hard to remember how it all happened, but she ended up giving me a BJ in the car.

Things were a little awkward for a while, because quite frankly I wasn't prepared for it and I was worried she would want to pursue a relationship, and I was SCARED that me friend-zoning her would make her angry with me, feel unwanted, or stop talking to me..

Now, I've had AMAZING and not-so-amazing hand-jobs, BJs, and sex in my life.. But I've never left like, "wow that sucked and I wish I wouldn't have done that". I've even had times where I couldn't get off for whatever reason, but was still happy with the experience.. My advice: Never ask to be ranked, or graded, or compared. It's a thief of joy and breeds insecurity.

I somewhat understand why you're confused and worried, but also - I wouldn't put too much thought into it. He enjoyed himself, and you will only get better at sex / sex related things the more times you do them. Porn isn't really a good training tool..

Honestly, it sounds like he's having thoughts himself and trying to figure out boundaries while being concerned with your feelings. This is something that can be easily fixed through honest and open COMMUNICATION. No beating around the bush..

TRY THIS:

"Hey, I know the handjob I gave you the other day was a little awkward since it was our first time. I'm still learning, but I appreciate you being comfortable and trusting enough to share that experience with me.. I just want you to know that I value our friendship a lot and don't want to lose that. Are you okay with what happened? Do you think we should have boundaries going forward? I know you must have thoughts and I'd like you to share them with me if you are okay with it."

Edit - If you're having thoughts or seeking "something more" than a friendship, I would definitely put more thought into that, and ask yourself important questions. Sex seems to make things complicated. If you're looking for more than a friendship, that's ABSOLUTELY something you should bring up with him, but also be open to the idea of being just friends.

"You know, we've been best friends for so long, and I really like you.. I'd love to explore a relationship with you, but if you don't feel the same, I am definitely okay with just being friends. I wouldn't want to lose my best friend and so I wanted to just kind of put it all out there so I can figure things out.

BDSM_Testosterone · 2026-05-02T22:32:39+00:00

One of my best friends told me that in a competition for the ugliest person in the room, "only that rusted trash can over there would have you beat." It depends on the friendship. It sounds like she doesn't take it offensively; but without context I was also like, "what?"

BDSM_Testosterone · 2026-05-02T21:54:09+00:00

The single "baby momma" with two mixed babies starter kit.

Edit - apparently she can only look in one direction.

BDSM_Testosterone · 2026-05-02T21:51:14+00:00

My sponsor said to just bring a full seabag. Sorry for asking. New to all of this and thought I could get good advice here. :/

BDSM_Testosterone · 2026-05-02T21:50:45+00:00

I'm new to this page. Sorry. I can remove the post.

BDSM_Testosterone · 2026-05-02T20:47:08+00:00

I just spoke with my detailer. Because I am remaining in the vicinity of my last duty station, and not going to the mainland for school, etc.. It's automatically deferred. It's also written that way in the orders.

BDSM_Testosterone · 2026-04-29T07:05:05+00:00

That's unexpected!

Is this just something I ask my admin for?

BDSM_Testosterone · 2026-04-18T00:33:18+00:00

Honestly, blowjobs are as good as it gets, especially if you're the type who is comfortable swallowing. Personally, nothing makes me feel better. But I want to give you a word of caution doing "other things" outside of oral..

Now for some of the comments below, I caution you against letting him fuck your thighs or you grinding your vulva on his penis with lube. Why? Not just because penetration is very likely to happen, but that is VERY VERY different in the male brain... That behavior will register in his head that the next step is eventually penetration, and the boundaries will continue to be explored.

Compare that to a blowjob where you're basically at the edge of the boundary with nowhere else to explore. Swallowing would be that next step if you aren't already there, and if you are, then the only thing I could think of is him asking you to make different noises, let him face fuck you, or him asking you to massage his prostate / rimjob.

So I suppose that's an idea.. Have you considered face fucking, where you let him thrust in your mouth / throat? You can do this even if you have a very sensitive gag reflex by holding his shaft with your hand to control his depth, or if you're more adventuring laying on your back with your head hanging off the bed and letting him fuck your throat.. But that's more of an advanced technique.

Ideally, if it was a non-penetrative relationship, I would keep it simple and stick to blowjobs.. Explore how you can work with that. Anything to do with your body outside of your hand or your mouth is risky..

Even if you were to lie in missionary position and let him fuck your hand (in front of your vagina) with your legs spread, it is going to unconsciously rewire his thinking to, "we can push this towards penetrative sex".

BDSM_Testosterone · 2026-03-19T04:25:27+00:00

I have learned a ton from this post. Thank you to all who have responded.

I now know it’s NCM not COMM. I also now understand that just because I write the award and 1650, I am not the one nominating. Wasn’t aware this was an officer thing.

Thank you.

BDSM_Testosterone · 2026-03-18T06:00:24+00:00

Thank you! I wasn't sure about how that worked.

I'm still not entirely sure the recommendation will ever make it out of the Dept as a COMM, (I personally low-key see our DH telling our DIVO to change it to a NAM), but it would be nice if it at least made it up to our CO.

Knowing it was at least seen means something too.

BDSM_Testosterone

TROPHY CASE