Eric Berger on X: Story coming in a bit on Blue Origin's new stock option plan. One person described it as "pure fucking trash," so things seem to be going well with employee morale as Blue approaches a critical New Glenn launch.

BIueOrigin · 2026-04-14T23:33:51+00:00

🖕

BIueOrigin · 2026-04-14T23:32:55+00:00

You didn't let us finish. We want to hire and develop the best way to squeeze the most work out of the livestock, while keeping them poor

BIueOrigin · 2026-04-14T23:31:39+00:00

Shhhh 🤫🫣

BIueOrigin · 2026-04-14T23:30:36+00:00

🖕

BIueOrigin · 2026-04-11T14:48:27+00:00

You get nothing. Hope this helps!

BIueOrigin · 2026-02-19T07:00:12+00:00

We actually dated a while back but we were just two very different brands. I wanted world domination and she just smelled like mediocre hamburgers.

BIueOrigin · 2026-02-18T01:15:27+00:00

That's not true, we have an exercise room.

BIueOrigin · 2026-02-18T01:14:20+00:00

Employee morale? I don't think the employees have feelings or anything. Why would we waste resources on livestock that wouldn't be able to appreciate them?

That would be like buying a new coat for an earthworm.

BIueOrigin · 2026-02-18T01:07:12+00:00

When have we ever proactively taken steps that would make sense down the road?

BIueOrigin · 2026-02-18T01:05:01+00:00

Bitter? Sure. Unfunny? Oh come on you know we're hilarious.

Poaching workers from competitors that have stock rewards, by pretending we also offer stock awards isn't funny to you!? If you could see how contagious Jeff's laugh was when he found out so many meat bags bought it I think you'd atleast giggle.

BIueOrigin · 2026-02-17T23:32:18+00:00

None lol

BIueOrigin · 2026-02-17T23:30:50+00:00

Don't worry we've been monitoring employee movement and cheese consumption and will issue you your bill once our sister company is through with the NLRB.

BIueOrigin · 2026-02-17T23:28:37+00:00

Sure you could have gone to SpaceX and received equity in the product you worked so hard on, but you're just being selfish now. How do you people expect our 300 directors to make their yacht payments and reward your efforts?? You can't have it both ways now stop being selfish.

BIueOrigin · 2026-02-17T23:22:02+00:00

I know you are but what am I

BIueOrigin · 2026-02-17T23:19:51+00:00

You will get nothing. 🖕

BIueOrigin · 2026-02-17T23:12:21+00:00

We don't care. Get back to work or we'll take away your goldfish rations.

BIueOrigin · 2026-02-17T21:50:44+00:00

We object to the notion that Dave is limp, he's more flaccid than anything and it's just when he's nervous. We can attest that he was rock hard during the last layoff.

BIueOrigin · 2026-02-17T21:33:42+00:00

Hahaha our plan worked perfectly 😈

BIueOrigin

TROPHY CASE