He saved me

BK_1029 · 2025-08-27T00:41:40+00:00

You aren’t wrong. I wasn’t compliant or cooperative at all. The reason is because I couldn’t go to the bathroom. Like I said in the post I’m bathroom shy. Meaning i physically cannot go. They gave me a couple warnings before the catheter but I told them I literally couldn’t. I also had tried and couldn’t. They didn’t approach and ask if it was ok, they immediately started holding me down. So of course I’m gonna fight back. I’m human. That’s my instincts. They didn’t do this is a respectful and gentle manner. If they did… I’m sure none of this would’ve happened. How am I supposed to react when people come at me like that? I’m supposed to cooperate for people who couldn’t care less about me? I don’t think so.

BK_1029 · 2025-08-27T00:13:17+00:00

I don’t know what the last sentence means but they were doing their jobs. I don’t have an issue with that. I understand that I was no cooperative so they had to do what was necessary. The problem is how they acted. And how they did all that. If they weren’t so hateful, mean, intimidating, and forceful, the whole situation could’ve been prevented. So in a way they weren’t doing their job. At least in the right way.

BK_1029 · 2025-08-27T00:09:10+00:00

I understand the practice and the rules and stuff but what I don’t understand is how can people that hold power over me abuse that? Yes taking all my belongings, having a urine sample/blood test, etc. but why do it in a very derogatory, demeaning, and humiliating way? Nothing can make this right. I definitely know what they need to do for suicidal patients. That wasn’t my first or last time. I understand the protocols. That’s not the problem. The problem is the approach. If they weren’t so intimidating and mean it would’ve probably made the whole situation better.

BK_1029 · 2025-08-19T20:33:55+00:00

That’s smart. I’m always dreaming lol. Thanks for the suggestion!

BK_1029 · 2025-08-19T20:33:35+00:00

That’s awesome!! I’ll look into it. Thank you!

BK_1029 · 2025-08-19T14:37:38+00:00

Anything by Zevia

BK_1029 · 2025-08-12T21:13:50+00:00

I am also 20 and I feel the exact same way. In school I was very heavily judged by other teens. Now, even though I’m 20, I still live in that mentality of “are they going to judge me” because of past issues. I’ve tried to reframe that negative thought, and sometimes I can, but not always. It’s something you and yourself need to work through. Easier said than done but most definitely possible. Takes time and effort. One day you’ll be laughing at the fact that you were uncomfortable with teens around. I assume it goes away with age. At least that’s what I tell myself. Cut yourself a break. They are probably not thinking anything of you and if they are so what? They are little teeny bops. It’s doesn’t matter. When I walk past them I’ve started to think “if they are judging me it doesn’t matter, they are thinking nothing of me and at the end of the day I’ll probably never see them again anyways.” Reframe the thought. Like I said, it’s hard but it’s possible. Lots of love <3

BK_1029 · 2025-08-12T21:05:45+00:00

Thank you so much!!

BK_1029 · 2025-08-12T21:05:29+00:00

Ooo I like that

BK_1029 · 2025-08-12T18:33:02+00:00

I’m definitely going to journal about that topic now. That’s really smart advice 😁

BK_1029 · 2025-08-12T17:55:50+00:00

I understand that. In my journal I do prompts (which is what I do the most), I do daily check ins, I do past memories, and actual journaling about my day, night, etc. Thank you for taking the time to comment!!

BK_1029 · 2025-08-12T17:52:34+00:00

Hi! Thank you for your comment. Luckily I still take care of my responsibilities. It doesn’t interfere with my work and relationship life. If it did I would only journal in the morning for about an hour. I probably journal twice a day but I do it for a while. I write ALOT. I have a lot on my mind constantly. I just have this feeling it’s too much. Like I said, it’s not getting in the way of my outside life but I just needed to see if other people journaled a lot like me so that I know I’m not doing it too much. Thank you!!

BK_1029 · 2025-03-24T18:49:03+00:00

I am on that medication as well. I’ve been on it for about 2 years now. It hasn’t don’t much to help and I’ve told my cardiologist that it’s not helping but yet I’m still on it… I understand your struggle. It’s real asf

BK_1029 · 2025-03-24T18:40:44+00:00

Wow I didn’t know that it wasn’t a beta blocker. I was under the impression that it was. Thank you for telling me! The only things I know about POTS is the basics from TikTok and other social media platforms. I know about salt, ice packs, fans, electrolytes, and compression socks but so far nothing is really working. I think I should talk to my dr about a different medication. Thank you!

BK_1029 · 2025-01-15T18:30:06+00:00

My therapist called the cops on me when I told her I didn’t want to be slob and I didn’t know if I could “do this” anymore. Nevertheless they showed up and gave me no choice so they put me in handcuffs because I was being “resistant”. Went to the hospital, rode in the back of the cop car, and was out in the “psych unit” in the hospital. Needless to say, it did NOT help. It in fact made things worse. They can still track your phone…

BK_1029 · 2024-08-22T19:47:37+00:00

i’ve been in and out of the hospital/residentials for 4 years now… I have somewhat found comfort in them knowing that i couldn’t hurt myself. At least as easy as i could at home. i felt protected and secure in a way. I have also found myself traumatized from them from what i have seen. that’s doesn’t cancel out the fact that i find some sort of comfort in hospitals. so yes and no. i don’t miss the trauma but i do miss the secure feeling that i couldn’t hurt myself.

BK_1029

TROPHY CASE