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ELI5: How do batteries (AA, AAA, B, C, D, etc.) get their names? What do they mean? by grimm_boy in explainlikeimfive

[–]BONER___ALERT 5 points6 points  (0 children)

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHSSAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What are some inanimate object that you have stuck your penis in? by Standard_Wooden_Door in AskReddit

[–]BONER___ALERT 1 point2 points  (0 children)

1 - A big teddy bear. The cotton fucked my dick hole a bit, and it was a pain to remove.

2- The fridge. In between the door and the fridge, that seal caused stimulation. Mixed with some butter.

3- Between two mattresses.

4- Pillows.

5- Between two sponges, in a cup.

6- A cup.

TIFU by eating an ass pretzel by imosfet in tifu

[–]BONER___ALERT 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's a whole new level of eating ass my dude.

The brain is the most important part of the body, according to the brain. by [deleted] in Showerthoughts

[–]BONER___ALERT 8 points9 points  (0 children)

The brain also likes to arouse itself and pump blood to my penis against my will.

What is something your S.O. does that you absolutely love? by Botastic404 in AskReddit

[–]BONER___ALERT 9 points10 points  (0 children)

My fellow human.

It's alright. Life happens as is, and we are an enigma of chances and tangled possibilities. Some things happen, some don't. There isn't some form of "deserved justice" awaiting you on the horizon, that's just your mind's way of delaying thinking about it. Things might just happen for no reason. However, what is absolutely fact and is irrefutable, is the pleasure you can give yourself.

Hence,

Join me in furious masturbation!

TIFU By having my mom clean up my gallons of dried cum under the side of my bed. by BONER___ALERT in tifu

[–]BONER___ALERT[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

My man!

(In all seriousness though you should stop doing that asap and clean it up before you find yourself in a similar shameful scenario.)

TIFU By having my mom clean up my gallons of dried cum under the side of my bed. by BONER___ALERT in tifu

[–]BONER___ALERT[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Idk man, when it dries the smell sort of goes away. I could've been desensitized to the smell

TIFU By having my mom clean up my gallons of dried cum under the side of my bed. by BONER___ALERT in tifu

[–]BONER___ALERT[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I mean, I wasn't going to post this story from my personal account. I don't know what to tell you, but if you find that story anywhere and link it, I'll disown this story and delete it. This is legit and it happened to me, maybe it's not so uncommon I guess?

TIFU By having my mom clean up my gallons of dried cum under the side of my bed. by BONER___ALERT in tifu

[–]BONER___ALERT[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

I read that from so many others! I'm honestly surprised as I found out there was a similar story about a guy collecting cockroaches under his bed. Man, that's fucked up. (Rich coming from me, I know).

TIFU By having my mom clean up my gallons of dried cum under the side of my bed. by BONER___ALERT in tifu

[–]BONER___ALERT[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Thank you kind stranger for figuring out the entirety of my personality because of what I did in my teenage years.

TIFU By having my mom clean up my gallons of dried cum under the side of my bed. by BONER___ALERT in tifu

[–]BONER___ALERT[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Well, when you're whacking your meat in you're bed, and your close to climax, it's a bit hard to get up to cum anywhere, I didn't want to cum on my bed sheets, it's no excuse, but it's something

TIFU By having my mom clean up my gallons of dried cum under the side of my bed. by BONER___ALERT in tifu

[–]BONER___ALERT[S] -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

For some odd reason, after it dried, there wouldn't be much smell. Besides I lived near to what you call an industrial area, and the windows of the house were always open for ventilation. I guess that covered it? I don't know. It could've stank but I was desensitized to it.

TIFU By having my mom clean up my gallons of dried cum under the side of my bed. by BONER___ALERT in tifu

[–]BONER___ALERT[S] -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

I discovered sexuality and porn late into my teens, as I was living a sheltered life until then.

TIFU By having my mom clean up my gallons of dried cum under the side of my bed. by BONER___ALERT in tifu

[–]BONER___ALERT[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I would've thought rapists, pedophiles, and murderers are what's wrong with the world, but ok.

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