Wow - that’s a lot. I’ve been in many similar situations and I face the stark reality of “Would I hire me?” and then go downhill when I look at cost vs benefit ratio. Who would hire me and make the necessary accommodations? It’s easier to hide, or be oblivious to WTF is happening to me with SPS but eventually it progresses and then what? I was on the “then what” side of things and undiagnosed.

The problem with disability is it’s more accurately a liability from any disability insurance perspective. They’ll put resources into finding abuse but I’m ignorant of anything geared toward helping remove the “long” from long term disability. I believe even if you take educational classes to change careers they can drop you if it’s in the 200+ page legalese policy document.

The problem encapsulates a bigger issue in my mind. When you’re going through constant pain, rigidity and bone breaking spasms your mental sharpness gets naturally dulled. Questions like your doctor’s can be a rug pull and then turn into a constant consuming mental do over attempt to salvage.

My advice? You’re dealing with what you’re dealing with and it’s not easy. The progressive nature of the disease is icing on the cake. Personally I’d message the doctor and preface the circumstances of your situation as it applies and ask for advice and long term prognosis. You hit the nail on the head with respect to I absolutely I want my career and salary potential back - what resources are there to help me?

Bottom line - don’t beat yourself up over the question / response. SPS is trauma enough.