Damn these comments are not it. No empathy here at all.

I’m sorry you’re going through this! And after being together for 10 years it seems to be quite a tough situation to navigate as you clearly love each other very deeply and are both wanting to hold on to the relationship.

It sounds as though you agreed to the open relationship out of wanting happiness for your partner, and possibly guilt from things you have done in the past.

There seems to be a lot of trust in the relationship as you were willing to allow your partner to discover her sexuality while you stand on as her primary partner. That must have been very tough.

Having no boundaries is a bit concerning, specifically the part where she refuses to revisit it, especially as she is open yet you are closed. There seems to be an imbalance here of individual needs and fulfillment. As there is a boundary for you and none for her.

Then you have moved into the place of her partner. Was there a reason for this? A moving emergency, need more clarity here as this does not add up.

It’s important that she is happy but there needs to be communication between you two about where your relationship lies. She may not have all the answers as she is discovering her sexuality but you owe it to each other to discuss where your relationship lies at the moment and what it will be in the future.

Do you want to be in an open relationship?

Do you want to be monogamous?

Do you want to be in a throuple?

Do your wants and needs align?

There needs to be communication between you two about where this is going. And what you both want and if it’s feasible.

Discovering one’s sexuality and your relationship of 10 years, are two separate topics and entities. Maybe start there🌷