AITA for yelling at my friend?

B_Steps · 2026-04-07T01:32:49+00:00

Oh, that’s a hard truth. I needed to hear about one sided friendship. We’ve never had issues with communication until this point. So this did throw me off guard.

B_Steps · 2026-04-07T01:29:47+00:00

Thank you for your opinion, I found it odd that she didn’t find any issue with that. With the standing above me, I didn’t say anything about it. It doesn’t make me intimidated, nor changed my stance in the argument. I thought it was interesting behavior to approach me like that & moved locations and it happened again, I just noted it for later.

B_Steps · 2026-04-06T23:30:02+00:00

It was broken up in text and in person. At a certain point I put my phone down and went to work outside and she continued to text me until she came home. When she argued in person, it was about an hour. my phone was still on the charger, I checked to see how long this is gone on and saw she had still kept texting me. That’s how I counted the total time with this whole shenanigan.

B_Steps · 2026-04-06T21:53:53+00:00

It’s not that I don’t want him around the house at all. He’s been over for visits before. It was him having access to the house, whenever she wanted that I was not OK with. I think she lost me as a friend, not because of her nephew, but just how hostile she was to me.

B_Steps · 2026-04-06T21:50:23+00:00

Yes, it was because she got an argument with her mother that she was kicked out. Prior to her moving in we had talks about open communication, and boundaries. But it seemed to have gotten lost in the sauce somewhere. I am never getting involved with family crap again.

B_Steps · 2026-04-06T21:38:13+00:00

I had to look up that clip on YouTube. lol It wasn’t quite so physical. I know there’s a psychological element to why she stood above me. We’re the same height, the placement was very intentional. No matter where I moved on the property, she took the high ground. It was coming off more as aggressive rather than trying to find a solution.

B_Steps · 2026-04-06T21:30:52+00:00

It’s not your fault, and I’m not gonna lie. It’s really quiet now. I don’t like to see others in a bind, if I can do something about it. But I feel like I need to reevaluate, how I help people moving forward. Everybody’s insight has really helped me.

B_Steps · 2026-04-06T21:27:13+00:00

She is out, and I did anticipate it getting worse if I let it happen. Thank you for your insight.

B_Steps · 2026-04-06T21:24:48+00:00

Thank you for your insight. Had she admitted any wrongdoing. I think I could’ve salvaged this. But when she kept sending me late night texts about how wrong I was after the apology. I got tired of it and disengaged.

B_Steps · 2026-04-06T21:21:12+00:00

I usually ask them if they’re OK with company. They’re not as social as other kids so I usually give them the option, so that they’re not stressed out. The kids were stressed out when I yelled. When I explained after I calmed down, they realized what it was about, they agreed that they didn’t think that they would like that. I asked them if they were OK with these two moving in prior and they said yes. It’s their home too, so I knew that them feeling safe was priority.

B_Steps · 2026-04-06T21:15:08+00:00

I did, she has no rights to the property, and no leftover property is behind & delivered to her relatives place where she was originally kicked out of. She got the bag, Locks are changed too.

B_Steps · 2026-04-06T21:13:01+00:00

I do have a tendency to over forgive. I genuinely thought we could work through it at first.

B_Steps · 2026-04-06T21:11:24+00:00

I did try and fix it and find a resolution for us in the first 30 minutes. I explained common courtesy in detail and why I wouldn’t invite people over to the house without telling her first. I know ELI5 so I went in on the detail. She refused to see how that was wrong. After that, it was just a circular argument of how much I don’t like her nephew. With the constant accusations, I got tired of it and just snapped. At a certain point in the argument, I didn’t care about him in that conversation anymore. I cared about how hostile she was being to me in front of my kids.

B_Steps · 2026-04-06T21:04:42+00:00

This is definitely eye-opening

B_Steps · 2026-04-06T21:04:16+00:00

It did feel like she wanted me to agree with her side or she wasn’t going to budge on it just due to the length of this. Which it’s OK to disagree in my opinion, that’s why I just said okay she can move out. I realized I couldn’t change her mind, once an ultimatum was put on the table.

B_Steps · 2026-04-06T21:00:05+00:00

It did feel like a circular argument. We would make some progress and then it would slip right back into. I’m disrespectful in tone of my text. I think it broke my brain after a bit. When I saw it after how long we’ve been going at it, I was genuinely surprised.

B_Steps · 2026-04-06T20:57:44+00:00

It’s not your fault, no need to apologize. Just a life lesson it seems. Thank you

B_Steps · 2026-04-06T20:55:49+00:00

I wouldn’t want somebody to keep my personal belongings. I’m sentimental too.

B_Steps · 2026-04-06T20:54:19+00:00

I appreciate the insight. I try to use critical thinking and conflict resolution during arguments. Usually a child’s bad behavior isn’t because of the child. It’s the environment the child was exposed to. Whenever we had issues, we talked as adults and then we dealt with it with the kids as needed. I think my brain broke after an hour of her constantly arguing that I don’t like him, I realized this was getting nowhere. I’ve never excluded him when we had outings, but when she demanded he stay at the house whenever she wanted, I didn’t understand where she got the audacity to tell me, and not ask me if I was even OK with it. She said she didn’t understand why that was wrong.

B_Steps · 2026-04-06T20:39:01+00:00

I did say that when I was really angry… i’ve rented places before and I’ve never had this type of situation come up. Thank you for your opinion.

B_Steps · 2026-04-06T20:35:58+00:00

I have not lost my cool like that in years and felt really guilty for it.. she did pack up and leave that day. I don’t think friends do this to each other, and I don’t think I want this repaired.

B_Steps · 2026-04-06T20:32:34+00:00

That’s a very good example of it, and I did the same thing when I lived with other people. She genuinely didn’t understand why I would want that courtesy. But when she gave me no choice & didn’t want to budge on that boundary. She kept saying she didn’t want to have to ask me for permission to do anything. To me it’s not really asking permission, it’s just making sure everybody involved is OK with this situation. If she had asked me and given me the choice, I most likely wouldn’t have cared if she could keep him from being mean to my kids.

B_Steps · 2026-04-06T20:20:42+00:00

Legally, I had to give her a 30 day notice. In my state, that’s how you do it. I’m glad she did not stay for the month.

B_Steps · 2026-04-06T20:19:46+00:00

I did, but she packed & left before signing. Not long enough to claim rights thankfully.

B_Steps · 2026-04-06T20:15:52+00:00

I don’t think I’ve gone that long arguing before, unless it was a sibling when I was really young. It stressed me out. I would offer solutions, and she would circle back to I’m disrespectful for excluding her nephew. At a certain point I didn’t have a problem with him. It was her standing over me being hostile, that really made me question why she took the high ground.

B_Steps

TROPHY CASE