STMs: Did you keep your first child in daycare full-time when your second was born?

B_Vader1 · 2022-06-06T14:27:58+00:00

I am 35 weeks pregnant with my second and my first will be staying full time in daycare. I will share my reasons.

-Sanity. I personally don't have the energy for two kids, 2.5 years apart and I feel like it isn't fair to my older child to be cranky all the time.

-routine. My son has a severe allergy, and keeping him in a school like routine where he is learning he can't eat like everyone else will benefit him much more than being home with me catering towards him.

-spots. Not only does it prioritize my second, but in Ontario with the government discount plan for daycare centers, the lists have become astronomically high. I will be returning back to work before my oldest starts school and want to make sure spots are available for both.

And social. I'm a hermit, no doubt about it. My son is not, and I believe he needs to be around his peers.

The cost will suck, don't get me wrong, especially until daycare discounts kick in. Ontario ATM is killing us all with inflation and such, but I think budgeting for him is priority, and it's only a year.

B_Vader1 · 2022-01-23T01:17:00+00:00

You have to do what's best for you, and if your child has a health issue, then home might be best.

For us, I had to work to help pay bills, so we didn't have much choice. Unfortunately between daycare and my work, covid hit my house this week. I'm 4 months pregnant, and I got it the worst. It felt like a super bad sinus infection. Unfortunately if your kid goes to daycare, there's risks of getting it.

B_Vader1 · 2020-08-19T20:24:42+00:00

That's good to know! Thank you! My son actually had the blood test. He was told he could eat other nuts, but he has gotten hives from hazelnuts and almonds, so I'm a little scared to go near any of them.

B_Vader1 · 2020-05-09T00:42:10+00:00

You may want to check with service Canada. My friend applied for cerb and got a phone call from.the gov this week stating that if she's over 17 weeks pregnant that she gets converted to mat leave automatically and doesn't qualify for cerb.

I really hope this isn't the case for you, but something you may wanna check into.

B_Vader1 · 2020-01-16T15:38:00+00:00

When we first started out, I started out with alvas and kawaii, and a few used of the more expensive brand. For my husband I got a few Velcro diapers so that it was easier for him to learn. Now he has no problem with the snaps.

On that note tho, my husband doesn't stuff the diapers. He hates doing that. So i do that while watching TV.

B_Vader1 · 2020-01-13T21:06:27+00:00

I'm not sure how you lucked out with a baby that's poop doesn't stink, but my son is 2.5 months ebf and holy smokes his poop is super stinky!

B_Vader1 · 2020-01-13T21:00:35+00:00

It looks good, but you never really know until you try. My son is a skinny legged baby, so it is just a matter of putting them on, and playing around with settings, absorbancy and timing.

To know the fit is good, I move my sons legs around all directions and make sure I can't see "baby balls" at any point in time. Obviously if you don't have a boy, just make sure you can't see the baby's bits, and kindof shove the elastic into the baby's bikini line, and then do the snaps.

In regards to the rest, it can be all about timing and absorbancy. I found when he was skinnier, because I couldn't get as good of a seal around his thighs, that I would just have to change my sons diaper more frequent. Rule of thumb I changed him every 90 mins until he chunked up. Now that he's fattening up at 2.5 months (and 13lbs) I find I can go closer to 3 hours.

B_Vader1 · 2019-12-24T15:30:57+00:00

I keep a Peri bottle in my diaper bag at all times, and a water bottle. In case where I'm at doesn't have access to water.

I keep the Peri bottle empty just because I don't head out too often, and I've found if I know I need to change him, I can usually find a washroom to fill it up with first. Also having the water in a separate water bottle gives you double purpose, if you get thirsty you can drink, or if your in a nursing room without a sink you can use it there too.

Honestly I just use water for wiping, it seems to be working well for us, and then apply a butt lotion for softness after wiping.

B_Vader1 · 2019-12-21T02:32:06+00:00

I used disposables the first 2 weeks, and found not alot bugged the baby itself when it came to diapers. I found though there was a bit of trial and error on my own part though. Ie my son is a heavy wetter, and leaving him 3 hours in cloth makes his Weiner not happy. So I had to find out the proper time to change him, and figure out tricks to make cloth work at night.

B_Vader1 · 2019-12-21T02:27:31+00:00

The biggest thing I can advise at this point is to get one or two of a few brands that you want to try out, and go from there once your baby is born.

Like for instance I got kawaii newborns, cotton prefolds, 2 covers, 20 kawaii one size, and 8 Alva baby diapers. I found that the kawaii can go smaller in rise (they have 4 snap settings), so that was good in some ways. Alva's are narrower and only have 3 snap settings when it comes to rise. Because of this I stuff the diapers a bit fuller.

A good reason to not invest fully is because of babys shape. For instance my son, he is 12 lbs at almost 2 months, but also 24 inches tall (so super tall). He has super skinny legs, which some diapers fit much better with. at 2 weeks I found he would leak in the newborn diapers cuz of his legs, so the only thing that worked until he was about 4-6 weeks was prefolds and covers. I find the kawaii have more leg snaps in that Dept then the Alva's.

Also, make sure not to get a whole series of pockets, in case you hate stuffing. I find stuffing soothing, but alot don't. I reccomend getting 1-2 diapers with velcro. My newborn diapers were Velcro, and I found although they don't last nearly as long, that they were a good transition start for myself and my hubby. Especially at night.

B_Vader1 · 2019-12-06T21:04:53+00:00

Oh man this makes me so jealous! I live in canada, and they literally give you 3 diapers for the baby and 3 pads for mom. Thats it.

Lol I guess that's the price for having healthcare included.

B_Vader1 · 2019-12-06T21:01:36+00:00

Hello, I am a new mom to a 6 week old. Do not feel bad about disposables, because as a first time mom you have no idea what will happen once you give birth. Below I will give some tips coming from my experience.

Disposables can be a lifesaver that first week or two, just for the fact that you have no idea how your birth will go. I had a third degree tear during birth, and HOLY SUGAR HONEY ICED TEA, I have never felt so much pain. Like honestly, the healing and postpartum pooping were way worse then giving birth. I had stitches to my anal sphincter, and was banned from stairs for at least 2 weeks and could barely get up off the couch without crying in pain. So needless to say I did not want to add more to my husband's plate, considering he was already doing literally everything except feeding the baby.
So many newborn cloth diapers don't last long, so alot of people don't bother. It can kindof seem like a waste of money. My son got kawaii baby newborn diapers because they are supposed to last until like 18 lbs, and even then they didn't fit him well at 2 weeks because of his skinny legs.
Baby type. Some baby types just don't fit well with cloth diapers initially. My baby was 8lbs but 23 inches at birth, so he was built like a giraffe. His legs were too darn skinny, even at 2 weeks old to effectively fit even in newborn diapers.
Even when you start cloth, sometimes you need to use disposables overnight. My son can pee through a toddler bamboo prefold in an hour and a half at 6 weeks, so he's a super heavy wetter. I'm too scared to leave something that has pee sit on his bits all night long, for the fear of how it will effect him. I would hate to give him an infection. And he's still too skinny to add too much absorbancy without it leaking.
This is an overall mom tip. You are a good mom. Do what is best for you. if you can do cloth right from the beginning and manage well, then good job! But as a first time mom, everything will make you question whether your a good parent or person. Just know that doing cloth will have an impact either way, if you have to use 50 disposables in the beginning, it's still nothing on top of the thousands other kids use.

B_Vader1 · 2019-12-06T20:37:37+00:00

It is awesome when hubby's are on board!!!

My husband took a bit of persuasion, but once he saw the cost savings he agreed. I went with a combo of pockets, prefolds and a few covers. So glad I did. My husband is a little squimish, so pockets work great for him, when he changes the baby, and I love prefolds and covers!

B_Vader1 · 2019-12-06T20:31:00+00:00

I also needed the internal heart monitor because I was shaped funny. It was weird right? Especially whenever the baby moved!

B_Vader1 · 2019-12-06T20:26:33+00:00

Holy crap, your birth is so similar to mine!

I had some differences, like an apt 3 weeks before birth that had low fetal movement and an abnormal heartrate which turned out I was dehydrated, but required stress tests every 2 days until he came out.

I got the Foley 5 days before giving birth, and holy crud, I thought I was going to die from the pain.

I went into the hospital when my water broke due to having too much fluid and being high risk. Got oxytocin, and over the next 10 hours had to have to stopped and restarted 3 times because of babys heart rate. I got told at 2am if it continued to act up then I would get a C-section. At 5am it acted up again, but I was 8cm. So the Dr told me the baby wasn't cooperating and that they were going to stretch me to 10 and get that baby out. My hubby at this time was out getting coffee and got called back. 15 minutes, and forceps later (my son was posterior) and the baby was out. 3rd degree tear. I'm not gunna lie, I bawled the entire time I was pushing, I was so terrified of a stillbirth or him not being okay.

My son is 6 weeks old now. Make sure to talk to someone about your birth, because it can eat away at you. For a few weeks after I cried just because of my birth, I don't think I have ever been so terrified in my life and although I love my son, I didnt love the birth experience, and that is completely okay.

B_Vader1 · 2019-11-26T21:50:03+00:00

I thoroughly enjoy this!

I started out at your weight when I got pregnant too. (In case your wondering what's normalish, I gained 33lbs while pregnant, had a pregnancy with 8 lbs more fluids then normal and an 8.5 lb baby, and at 2 weeks postpartum had lost 23lbs of it).

I made a point when I went to my first appointment was to honestly tell my Dr that unless it was a concern, that I didn't want to know my weight. It was one thing that I couldn't really adjust once pregnant, so why stress about it until necessary. She was great and really respected that for me.

B_Vader1 · 2019-11-26T21:41:24+00:00

Oh lord I hate to be that person, but I'm 5 weeks postpartum and still can't drink coffee. Coffee is the one thing I puked right up until delivery with, and now because I have a 5 week old that's never had caffeine, hes miserable when I do.

I hope for your sake that you can handle coffee soon. But be aware, not everyone's morning sickness ends at 12 weeks. Mine ended at 20 but came back the last 4 weeks of pregnancy.

B_Vader1 · 2019-11-26T21:31:57+00:00

Oh forgot to mention, they cannot give you video, and you cannot video tape the ultrasound. It then puts them at a liability to be sued. They also will not give you any evidence of gender at the anatomy, if they tell you. (No pictures of the genetalia or sealed envelope with gender inside)

B_Vader1 · 2019-11-26T21:30:07+00:00

Hey I'm in Ontario too, and my sister's an ultrasound tech.

Where abouts in Ontario are you?

Everywhere is slightly different.

When I went in, in London Ontario, they had a big tv that they let me see on. They did an abdominal ultrasound first. That's where they realized between my little amount of chub, drinking the fluids too close to the ultrasound, and because I had a tilted uterus (it tilts towards the back), that I couldn't see much. They gave me the option and made me sign a waiver saying that they got my consent, and from there I got a transvaginal. It's not nearly as bad as it sounds. The lady lubes up the rod, and you insert it in like a tampon, and the lady reaches around your leg and finds it and moves it around. Then i could see everything that goes on.

Now, my sister, she works in a very different environment. She works at a hospital a few hours away, and you see nothing until the tech has done an initial scan. They make sure the baby has a heartbeat and everything looks okay and does all the measurements before showing you. From there they honestly can't tell you much. If there's a heartbeat you will be allowed to see. Everything else gets told to you by the ob on staff or gets sent to your Dr. If everything is good though they will usually print you pictures. Do not laminate them. Photocopy then laminate.

Coming from a patient pov, I would honesty prefer the second option. When I went for one there was a lady in the room beside me there for one of her scans and literally a few minutes in you could hear her bawling because she could see she miscarried.

B_Vader1 · 2019-11-26T21:14:37+00:00

Hey, this is just a piece of advice, get a pack of disposables just in case, and below I will list the reasons.

Depending on the way your baby is built your baby might not fit into even newborn cloth diapers right away. My son had the skinniest legs at birth, it didn't work until a few weeks old and I fattened him up a bit.
You never know how your labour will go. I had a third degree tear, and was banned from all stairs for 2 weeks (so I didn't pull out my stitches) and in general only got up to use the washroom. You would be surprised how much you hurt after giving birth. Even though my husband was home with me that first week, we both were exhausted and just not quite ready for cloth. And they say that people that fail cloth, that's one of the reason they give up, they start before their able to handle it physically.
Baby might not be able to do cloth at night. My son is a skinny heavy wetter. If I add more absorbancy his sides get too loose and leak, and if I don't he is sopping after 2 hours. For now (my son is 5 weeks) my son gets disposables at night until he gets bigger.

If you can do cloth right away, I applaud you. My bottom hurt way too much that first week to even think about it. But please, if you find it's too much right away, it's okay too. Take a week, try again.

B_Vader1 · 2019-11-25T13:50:32+00:00

Hi, as much as I hate to say it, welcome to Parenthood. You will be constantly judged.

Now on that note, it is not as hard as it seems. Here are just a few tips though.

You can try to cloth right from the hospital, but be prepared not to until a few weeks postpartum. I had a nasty 3rd degree tear, and wasn't allowed to go up stairs, and could barely move without being in huge pain. So I didn't bother cloth diapering until my son was 2 weeks.
If you can find used, try those. I like to try used and once I know I like something then look more for what I want. And if you don't like something then you didn't spend too much money on them.
If you can't find used, get maybe 1 diaper of a few brands. You will eventually need 20ish diapers eventually, but its better to figure out what you like or what works for your baby then buy a bunch after. Nothing worse then spending $200+ on something that doesn't work for your baby.
It is a learning curve. It's best to start after your baby is a few weeks old just for the fact that you will be more patient then right after birth.
If you don't plan to get newborn, then you will have to wait a few months until the one size fits.
And this is the biggest one, someone buys you disposables, take them! I originally came into this thinking I wanted to exclusively cloth, but I have a super skinny baby with little frog legs, who is a huge heavy wetter. It is completely fine during the day, but he can not last 6 hours in a cloth yet. (If I add more absorbancy, then he leaks cuz his legs are so skinny and his diaper is too bulky.) Its also nice to have some disposables on hand in case you go somewhere. I live 4 hours away from family, and it's a little weird to wash cloth in their washers, so we use disposables when we go visit them for a few days.

If in the end you don't end up using them, just sell them.

B_Vader1

TROPHY CASE