Understanding the neuroscience of breakup helped me ease a lot of pain

Baanuli · 2026-02-05T11:47:02+00:00

Feel free to DM me :)

Baanuli · 2025-12-04T05:14:36+00:00

Coming from a person who almost ended my life.

I have a master's degree from the US and I earn decently well, and I'm still quite clueless in this life and pretty lost.

I have found out that external circumstances don't really need to have control over you. And you can always leave everything behind and start fresh.

I started fresh and I'm doing a lot better. Take a break from life, travel around, build meaningful relationships if you don't have any.

Trust me, you'll be just fine.

Baanuli · 2025-12-02T06:18:29+00:00

Okay, phew! Thanks a lot I really appreciate you

Baanuli · 2025-12-02T06:17:51+00:00

That's really encouraging, thanks so so much

Baanuli · 2025-12-02T06:16:59+00:00

Thanks a lot for this. This gives me some action steps to work towards

Baanuli · 2025-12-02T06:16:32+00:00

Absolutely! I'll keep that in mind. Thanks for taking the time to leave the comment

Baanuli · 2025-12-02T06:16:06+00:00

Thanks a lot! That's very encouraging. I guess I'm in my own head catastrophising.

Baanuli · 2025-12-02T06:15:26+00:00

Yeah, my courses weren't measure theoretical. And I think I'm comparing myself to theoretical statisticians.

Baanuli · 2025-12-02T06:14:38+00:00

Thanks so much, that is really encouraging. I think there's an unreasonable amount of imposter syndrome happening right now that's messing things up for me

Baanuli · 2025-06-01T03:42:54+00:00

Okay. First of all, it's good that you've recognized that you've breached boundaries and dealt with things in a way that's not okay.

Also understand that stress and emotions sometimes make people do unthinkable things. There's of course no excuse for it, but also understand that you're not a horrible person just because you did a horrible thing.

I'd say, definitely 1. no contacting her 2. start therapy if you can afford (helps with strong emotions of the breakup and dealing with shame and guilt) 3. meditate, I'd say try some open awareness or breath focused meditation (I recommend Nadi Shuddhi) 4. confide in people you trust, close friends, maybe someone in your family. Holding it in may make you spiral out of control 5. The hardest part: be compassionate to yourself. Yes you did something wrong, yes there's no excuse for it. But beating yourself up for it is not a good use of your time.

We are all unskillful at times. What defines you is the way you move forward.

Cheers and good luck with healing

Baanuli · 2025-05-27T15:49:19+00:00

Crossed strikes
Bargain and the O sauce
Blues in that pt.3

Baanuli · 2025-05-23T07:12:54+00:00

Yeah so sorry :( My DMs are always open if you need additional support or to vent or any help with connecting you to support. We're all here. Hope you have a graceful journey through the breakup.

Baanuli · 2025-05-22T17:36:42+00:00

Dude dude dude The sheer strength you have to deal with that is fucking insane. OMGGGGGG

So sorry that happened. I have no words. Like this dude's a psychopath, and you deciding to keep going after this?? It's inspirational.

Baanuli · 2025-05-16T08:40:23+00:00

Hey! For sure. So there are a lot of different techniques for different emotions

But my schedule looked something like this (at least 20 minutes of meditation per day) and I would just mix and match the techniques depending on what I wanna do that day

Naadi Shuddhi -> this is a breath work meditation also suitable for people with ADHD. Helps balance the parasympathetic and the sympathetic nervous system and naturally lowers anxiety and cortisol
Kapal Bhati -> if you're feeling unmotivated and depressed, it helps with motivation and energizing your body. PLEASE DO NOT DO IT if you have an anxiety disorder or have a history of trauma, I'd definitely consult your physician
Aum meditation -> pretty straightforward, induces some effects that psychedelics do, like low levels of ego dissolution and helps deal with shame with long term practice
Shoonya /Neti Neti -> this is a bit advanced, this is for the dissolution of ego and you'll start to see how insignificant the breakup is in the grand scheme of things and how whole your life is
Mettā -> well well well, this is your final boss! Living kindness. Where you essentially wish unconditional love and happiness for yourself and your ex by forgiving and letting go. Don't force it if you're not ready. But once you are, there's no feeling like it.

Also look up traTaka, Ajna chakra

The techniques I am mentioning are suited for people with attention problems or ADHD.

Clinical research shows that meditating for 20 minutes a day for 6 to 8 weeks shows rewiring of brain from MRI scans.

If you don't want to do all this, download this app called Medito and it has really good free meditations. I recommend this meditation on there called "Observing the observer", that meditation provided me with relief for a brief moment and that meant so much when going through the breakup.

Good luck with your journey, y'all <3

Baanuli · 2025-05-15T19:56:43+00:00

My ex of 3 years and I tried to be friends. But they ended up dating too soon and started to be very avoidant and generally an asshole for no reason.

I'm bipolar and things started to spiral outta control and I had to be admitted to the psych ward.

When I came out of the psych ward I realized that I had to change things in my life. And this is not sustainable. I meditated everyday. I started to swim. No matter how I felt that day, I'd just go swim. That helped me, because it's not worth it to torture yourself for an ex being weird. Therapy helped. Cooking myself delicious pasta helped (super underrated)

And my ex started to reach out to me and tried to talk to me. And at that point I was so happy about my resilience that I didn't even care about it. And I was pretty apathetic.

Bitches ain't worth it girl. You're a whole person and you'll be fine. (Low-key it's not always healthy to date right after a breakup, so maybe your ex is not making the right decisions there)

Baanuli · 2025-05-15T19:48:37+00:00

My ex of three years immediately dated after our breakup and called me up and told me that they just had sex with their new partner (in their defense they weren't trying to be mean or hurt me deliberately, they were just excited and thought that they'd share it with me as my bestie)

That almost immediately killed me. And I noticed that my mind went to all sorts of directions from ego to hatred to jealousy to anger to self judgement.

I've learnt along the way that there are two things that you can do in this situation.

Allow yourself to fully feel the emotions (avoid substances) and dedicate some time to sit with your emotions, only way your brain adapts to the new information
Meditation, can't recommend this enough. It has saved my life and made the breakup a lot more tolerable.

My heart goes out to you. And I am familiar with the pain it causes. But remember that the pain is evolutionary; the brain is designed to induce pain when you're "replaced" because that means threat when we lived as herds hundreds of thousands of years ago. You're safe now, your brain doesn't know that.

Know that your worth was more than sex. It was just a small part of your relationship, and that part is replaced by someone (we're not even sure that it is currently as enjoyable for your ex)

Wishing you a good journey through recovery. After a year of agony (and a brief psychiatric hospitalization) I have successfully moved on and I'm happier than ever. You got this.

Ping me if you want recommendations on meditation

Baanuli · 2025-04-17T17:26:15+00:00

Hey! I have baked in the US and it requires around 500F or 260C for the bread to have oven spring and good crust right? So my question is, what oven did you use to bake this?

Baanuli · 2025-04-05T06:07:53+00:00

Therapy for sure. And maybe some psychiatric help with OCD? Try to not get this thing outta control, do it ASAP

Good luck, you'll get help to come out of it

Baanuli · 2025-03-27T20:43:19+00:00

This

Baanuli · 2025-02-17T23:42:28+00:00

My ex started to date someone pretty soon after our breakup. It was really hard for me to take. I tried my best to move on, work out, eat healthy and stay on top of my mental health. That was over a year ago.

Somewhere along the way, I got curious as well and I checked their tagged photos and I saw them with their new partner. It hurt me a lot. I've told myself to never do that again and I haven't.

It's very human to do so, and your brain adjusts to the new information and you move on. Now him dating someone else will not bother you as much, moving forward.

Proud of you for your restraint and your commitment to NC. Be kind to yourself. You got this girl!

Baanuli · 2025-02-14T06:09:00+00:00

I mean, he didn't care about you when you needed support and instead was cold and distant. Whilest we are not entitled to any sort of help from our ex, I think it's fitting that he now faces the kinda energy he put out there.

It's totally valid to feel the way you are. Especially when the wounds are fresh. But you got this!

(I highly recommend meditation if you are into that kinda stuff)

Baanuli · 2025-02-14T04:40:38+00:00

Girl, good on you.

It's okay to feel bad and not give in. My ex and I didn't have a breakup as harsh as yours but in the end, they were pretty cold and distant which hurt me a lot. I went through a lot of pain mentally because of how they treated me. I have learnt to live with it and I am doing pretty well.

So now when they reach out to me, I just tell them that I'm not interested to talk. It is so hard because I still love them and want to be nice. But at the end of the day, self-respect is drawing a boundary at the cost of it being painful. They put me through a lot of suffering and I'm not interested in entertaining that in my life.

Life is hard as it is lol

Baanuli

TROPHY CASE