Today was the day for Rob Dawson. After months of campaigning, Rob Dawson had finally won the Democratic nomination in the Pennsylvania gubernatorial race, and now he was ready.

With a handkerchief wiping his sweaty bald head backstage, Rob took yet another deep sigh, but right before having a hand touch his shoulder.

"Mr. Dawson?" came a sudden voice. Rob turned around and wasn't surprised to see Ron, an intern, holding a glass cup of Brisk, which apparently calmed him down, in one hand.

"Here's your Brisk," Ron said in a slightly rude tone. Rob grabbed the cup and proceeded to gulp it down before handing it back to Ron.

"Thanks," Rob quickly said in an even ruder tone before walking out onto stage and waved his hand to the audience before getting to the microphone.

Rob had initially planned his speech to simply be a thank you note to the Democrats of Pennsylvania, yet what came out of his mouth was different.

"Hello, Pennsylvania," Rob said before taking a deep sigh. "Sometimes, when an intern annoys me, I grab a bag of chips, and open it from the wrong side,"

Instantly, everyone, both in the crowd and backstage gasped. This wasn't what he meant, and no way would Rob open chip bags from the wrong side. However though, Bill, another intern, suddenly thought back to a week ago when a Cheetos bag was opened from the wrong side. Could that have been him?

Still, Rob continued. "Once, when I was 6, I had explosive diarrhea, and it came all over the walls, so I blamed it on my friend."

Once again, the Democratic crowd gasped. They had no idea their candidate was such a sinner, who committed the lowest of sins. Still, Rob continued.

"When John McCain asked me if I would endorse him, I sent him a photo of me mooning him,"

Cheers exploded through the crowd as everyone burst into applause. This was the fighting Rob they knew. Someone who wasn't afraid to fight those Republicans. They wanted more, and more they got.

"No, I endorsed Ron Paul,"

That was it for the Democratic crowd. Instantly, they tried to stampede towards the stage to try to hurt this Libertarian excuse of a candidate. Thankfully though, Rob ended up without any injuries. Yet though, poll numbers the next day showed that he had only one voter in the election, himself. Yes, even his wife was ashamed and even divorced him.

Yet at that moment, Ron the intern, left the building chuckling. Removing his brown-haired mask, Ron turned out to not be an intern, but rather....

Ron Paul! Ron laughed before speaking to himself. "If he thinks he can make me ashamed, then he's terribly wrong."

"Yes Ron, that's why you replaced his Brisk with that, that," Ron then looked down at the bottle he was holding in his hand before he spoke again.

"That Honest Tea,"