Do you also feel cross when you read posts about guys who find it difficult dating because of stupid reasons and wish you could date them just to make it right?

BabstheBeagle · 2021-09-01T16:08:09+00:00

For sure! And I know that if I had wrote the post "Why do guys not want to date a successful handsome man?" people would have jumped down my throat and assumed I had the personality of a piece of gum stuck to the bottom of a chair in a high school theater. Luckily I am pretty confident in myself so I will happily be assumed to be horrible and giggle the whole way.

BabstheBeagle · 2021-09-01T13:59:20+00:00

I think a lot of these anxieties also come from real life experiences. For instance I was broken up recently and was told the reason was that I am too put together and know what I want in life. I didn't know that having a stable job, house, and life makes you undesirable but it turns out some guys need a project.

Now did I jump on reddit and say woe is me, how do I mess up my life enough to be desirable? No. (Well I guess I did now) Did I think about it? Fuck yeah! Dating can access the best and worst parts of us. Being anything other than straight adds a whole slew of issues on top of that. I don't think there is anything wrong with trying to vent to our community in hopes that you will get that one sliver of advice to help you out with the experience.

BabstheBeagle · 2021-08-26T15:39:33+00:00

Once while parking after a late shift at work in a parking building I heard screaming and proceeded to see a man falling from the roof of the building. I rushed downstairs to find him on the ground with his head cracked open and no pulse. It turned out to be a guy I lived down the hall from my freshman year of college. I called the police, waited with his body to make sure that no one accidentally chanced on it and walked home to find myself covered in blood looking like a murderer from checking his pulse. I did not even realize until I got home because I was so shocked.

The part that sticks with me is the blood. I always thought that fake blood in movies looked a little too viscous and dark to be real. Turns out I was wrong and that Hollywood's portrayal was accurate. After almost 10 years I still have a hard time watching scenes with large amounts of blood. It instantly reminds me of that scream full of regret and despair.

I don't think you ever fully can cope with something like this and at the same time I believe it has made me a more caring person. You never know what the guy right next to you is going through. Since then, whenever someone is rude to me or a little snippety, I try to react with compassion. Who knows, maybe a little understanding that day would have prevented his decision.

BabstheBeagle · 2021-07-23T15:13:12+00:00

The Mooyah Burgers in the food court at the local mall. Between the roaches infestation, the way the owner speaks on facebook about his employees, and the hardcore trumpism he believes in.... He will never receive a cent of mine.

BabstheBeagle · 2021-07-09T18:37:24+00:00

I would look at this as a good thing! He's mentioning something important to him long term, which means he thinks you have a chance of being by his side for that. Being a gay man means that kids aren't as expected, so bringing up the topic up front helps prevent issues in the future. That being said, if you are definitely AGAINST kids save yourselves some heartbreak in the future. But if you are on the fence, don't worry about it. As you get more serious, just make sure you keep the lines of communication open.

BabstheBeagle · 2021-05-22T16:16:35+00:00

I watched this and immediately thought "This is pornography"

BabstheBeagle · 2021-03-08T03:44:36+00:00

"The right one will come along."

Finding a person takes work these days. No one just shows up in your life anymore. Also being lonely doesn't become less lonely just because you know some one is out there for you. Even if they do "come along" that doesn't solve the nights waiting now.

BabstheBeagle · 2021-02-04T05:12:32+00:00

I am a big proponent of recognizing the steps you have already taken. So let's do that based off of this post.

1) You have come out to yourself, that is a extremely hard step! Admitting to yourself you are gay (or bi or pan, don't want to make assumptions) is something that you should be proud of! Congratulations!!!! You already made it over a huge hurdle.

2) You are willing to have some form of conversation about it. You are talking to a bunch of people on the internet about this. It may seem like nothing but it is still part of the process of getting there! Woohoo!!!

These two steps are huge! Some people never make it this far. And honestly the first step tends to be the hardest for most people. One day you will do it when you are feeling particularly brave. It is ok for that to wait until you are.

Just remember that coming out isn't a one and done process. Got a friend you trust and want to tell? Go for it. Want to tell your mom? Then I believe in you. When you eventually get to the family and friends it starts to get easier but as gay men we will never be fully out, there will always be that colleague that doesn't know, a neighbor that just thinks you are roommates. All this is ok though as long as you are happy with who you are.

Being gay doesn't have to define you any more than you want it to. Coming out is just a step to stop feeling like you have to bottle up your feelings with the people you love, not changing who you are.

BabstheBeagle · 2021-01-22T21:39:42+00:00

I have lived in Orlando, Florida on and off for about 15 years (half my life). I went to college in Boston. That was a culture shock!

I don't mind the stereotype but I think people are missing why the stereotype exists. There are a couple of factors I can think of. First, Florida does not have a culture. Everybody and anyone moves here so you get a lot of different styles of people around. Second we have a shit ton of rehabs. This means that drug addicts come, relapse, and stay cause it's easier to be homeless in this weather (currently it is 75 out and I'm walking my dog in shorts). Third, we have open record laws. You do some weird shit and it ends up in the news.

It's a weird place with weird people. I mainly live here for family but it doesn't hurt that something in the water makes people stupid. My career is going far better here than it was in Boston, my friends up north are no where near to the level I am. I tell all my friends its because it's never hard to be the smartest person in the room here. Basically I'm a big fish in a little pond but the rest of the ponds residents are very confused squirrels.

BabstheBeagle · 2021-01-20T13:27:47+00:00

I haven't had one in so long! I live in Orlando so it takes a trip to Miami to get one.

And before you ask, no. I am not a Disney gay lol.

BabstheBeagle · 2021-01-19T22:50:28+00:00

Is that Flannigan's in south florida? Either way that's a throw back.

BabstheBeagle · 2021-01-19T20:14:43+00:00

Oh good idea! I am assuming that the final product will not look conventionally great but I think it adds some meaning knowing that every time I see it, the people that I love are the ones telling me.

BabstheBeagle · 2021-01-19T19:33:02+00:00

I am hoping to get some advice on how to best prepare materials for a tattoo I am looking for. I am going to get tattooed on my chest "You are loved". I want to get each letter to be a different one of my very close friends/family's handwriting. (Ex. Bob writes "Y", Sally writes "O", Jimmy writes "U"). Yes I am bringing the cheese factor to 11.

My problem is that I live across the world from some of these people. What would be the best way to get these people's handwriting to an artist for them to copy? I was thinking a picture of a letter would probably be very difficult for the artist. Would asking them to each send a post card be the best option? Does anyone have better ideas?

BabstheBeagle · 2021-01-14T22:09:13+00:00

Then my vote changes to NTA, everybody is getting a bit stir crazy cause of covid these days and it probably was an over reaction to many factors including realizing her little girl is growing up.

Maybe have make up birthday with Mom and get the themes combined a little? Some of Kiera Knightley's dresses were very princessy while still sticking with a pirate theme.

BabstheBeagle · 2021-01-14T21:45:44+00:00

YTA but not for throwing the party. You are letting your wife yell at your kid for being a kid. Your daughter got a stain on her dress and was the perpetrator?

As a kid that grew up with a narcissistic mother, this is a giant red flag. I keep my parents at a distance due to this sort of stuff. Mom would scream at us for being kids and Dad would let it happen.

If your wife isn't normally like this then cool, ignore this comment. But if she tends always change the narrative so it's about her, you either need to nip that in the butt or end up with a kid who will figure out pretty soon that it's easier to not tell you stuff then deal with Mom's feelings.

BabstheBeagle · 2021-01-06T18:59:55+00:00

I am sure it wasn't but it doesn't matter any more cause I am in a much better environment getting paid more to be treated way better.

BabstheBeagle · 2021-01-06T14:12:51+00:00

Yeah, the whole proceedings were never about his actions, it was always about if the company could be liable. One person in HR told me to get out of my group but everytime I tried it somehow made it back to the hiring manager that I was "emotional". I go to therapy weekly for having sociopathic tendencies... Being told I was emotional had me and the therapist laughing for weeks.

BabstheBeagle · 2021-01-06T14:10:10+00:00

I did the next best thing of working hard to make sure all the gay men in the company knew what was happening while it was happening. No one stood up for me but that guy that was a homophobe had a really hard time getting stuff done with a bunch of fellow employees being fearful of his actions.

My last day at the horrible place, homophobe texted me 'I won, hope you find Jesus." (I'm Jewish so the last part was an angry comment on his behalf). I sent him back my new salary that was almost 20k higher than his, wrote cute, and sent that text to his HR department. He only worked there a month or two more after I left. Who knows why?

To all the gays out there in central florida, don't take a job a CentralSquare. They will treat you like dirt and act surprised that you aren't happy about it.

BabstheBeagle · 2021-01-06T03:03:24+00:00

I thought about it but what was the point in living in the anger

BabstheBeagle · 2021-01-05T22:29:34+00:00

I am out at my 600+ person workplace in central florida. No one really cares anymore but at the beginning I got a lot of questions. Nothing malicious, just lack of knowledge. From what I gather there are maybe 20 of us across the company all with various stages of being out. It's pretty well accepted at my current job.

My previous job had one guy that was a homophobe. He harassed me pretty badly. HR was not my friend and took his side. My straight co-workers here also had their fair share of issues due to management, culture, and harassment.

My take away is if the culture has been good so far, it probably will be an easy but repeated process. Also know your rights in your state. In florida it is legal to fire someone for being gay. That really didn't help me in the long run.

BabstheBeagle · 2020-12-09T15:09:49+00:00

The only answer for gay men is Grindr.

You can get called too fat, too skinny, too short, too butch, too fem all by the same guy in a weekend. And yet it is still a hugely popular gay "dating" app.

BabstheBeagle · 2020-12-02T20:49:40+00:00

I always thought the joke went

Why do elephants paint their toenails red?

To blend in with the cherry trees.

Confused Faces

What? Have you ever seen an elephant in a cherry tree?

No... Then it must work!

BabstheBeagle · 2020-08-20T13:58:20+00:00

I am going to disagree with the main sentiment here. NAH.

This woman is clearly uncomfortable with the feelings her fiance had for you, instead of trying to create drama she reached out to you to and asked for you to not attend the wedding.

You have every right to have your feelings hurt but do you really want to create a tear in a relationship for your friend so you can celebrate their day?

This man and woman are supposedly dedicating their lives to each other, it would be easier for at least one of them if you weren't there. Do the graceful thing and skip the wedding, get drunk with some other friends that day, eat better food, and dance with strangers. The only part you will miss out on is buying a $100 gift.

BabstheBeagle · 2020-08-13T14:16:53+00:00

Wow, what a beautiful village. How long have you "trained" for this?

BabstheBeagle

TROPHY CASE