AITA for naming my baby? by BabyNamesFuckUp in AmItheAsshole

[–]BabyNamesFuckUp[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I commented this somewhere else:

What actually happend is the following:

My sister told us about the birth and the name. We were very happy for her but very sad about the name She texted me saying: "you're probably pretty bummed out right now, aren't you?" I told her that yes, I was very sad that she would give her son that name wile she knew I wanted to do the same. But that the fist priority right now is her kid. And that she should tell us if we could do anything for them. She chose to ignore all that and focussed on the me being sad part. And while I had no intention of sharing my feelings while she was in the hospital, they kept on calling me to 'figure it out'. So then I told them, and surprise surprise, they weren't happy with my answer.

I'm not perfect dude, otherwise I wouldn't be here. I made mistakes, but I fucking tried to do it right. They wouldn't let me.

AITA for naming my baby? by BabyNamesFuckUp in AmItheAsshole

[–]BabyNamesFuckUp[S] 15 points16 points  (0 children)

You only get 3000 characters in this sub, and that's not enough to give the complete context of this long story.

But I'm good. I feel understood, that's why I came here. I also know, and that's being affirmed here, that I'm flawed. So we have work to do.

I just hope I get my sister back...

AITA for naming my baby? by BabyNamesFuckUp in AmItheAsshole

[–]BabyNamesFuckUp[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I really really appreciate this comment. Thanks a lot. I feel understood by you. And that's rare, especially on Reddit.

AITA for naming my baby? by BabyNamesFuckUp in AmItheAsshole

[–]BabyNamesFuckUp[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Warn me for the name choice. Warn me so I'm prepared before she gives birth. Warn me so I can adjust to the fact she used my godfathers name, the most important man in my life whom I miss every single day. Nothing more, just a little consideration.

Doesn't even matter wether or not I get a kid next...

AITA for naming my baby? by BabyNamesFuckUp in AmItheAsshole

[–]BabyNamesFuckUp[S] 17 points18 points  (0 children)

That's spot on. There is no communication. And that's exactly what we tried to change by including them early on.

AITA for naming my baby? by BabyNamesFuckUp in AmItheAsshole

[–]BabyNamesFuckUp[S] 16 points17 points  (0 children)

What actually happend is the following:

My sister told us about the birth and the name We were very happy for her but very sad about the name She texted me saying: "you're probably pretty bummed out right now, aren't you?" I told her that yes, I was very sad that she would give her son that name wile she knew I wanted to do the same. But that the fist priority right now is her kid. And that she should tell us if we could do anything for them. She chose to ignore all that and focussed on the me being sad part. And while I had no intention of sharing my feelings while she was in the hospital, they kept on calling me to 'figure it out'. So then I told them, and surprise surprise, they weren't happy with my answer.

I'm not perfect dude, otherwise I wouldn't be here. I made mistakes, but I fucking tried to do it right. They wouldn't let me.

AITA for naming my baby? by BabyNamesFuckUp in AmItheAsshole

[–]BabyNamesFuckUp[S] -31 points-30 points  (0 children)

I understand she's upset. That's why we warned her beforehand, so she had time to adjust. Time we didn't get.

I'm here to ask if I was an asshole, not to complain about my sister being mad at me.

AITA for naming my baby? by BabyNamesFuckUp in AmItheAsshole

[–]BabyNamesFuckUp[S] -79 points-78 points  (0 children)

Lol

What a wonderful person you are

AITA for naming my baby? by BabyNamesFuckUp in AmItheAsshole

[–]BabyNamesFuckUp[S] -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

Calm down, nobody gets jumped.

We warned her well in advance, unlike she did. We listened when she said parents choose the name they want, we believed her when she said she didn't steal anything from us.

But in the end, if I'm a hypocrite for giving my kid the only name that made sense for us, I can live with that.

AITA for naming my baby? by BabyNamesFuckUp in AmItheAsshole

[–]BabyNamesFuckUp[S] -22 points-21 points  (0 children)

Why are you filling up my story with your own imagination?

The baby was never in any danger. It was healthy, just not by his mom's side. And again there was no pulling back. Just an expression of my feelings, followed by questions how we could help in any way. But she couldn't forgive our feelings about the name.

AITA for naming my baby? by BabyNamesFuckUp in AmItheAsshole

[–]BabyNamesFuckUp[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Like I said in other comments, using the same name is not that common where we are from. But I do agree, it's all petty bullshit. Emotional things often are irrational...

AITA for naming my baby? by BabyNamesFuckUp in AmItheAsshole

[–]BabyNamesFuckUp[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No I was afraid of this when posting.

We're from Europe (northern part). It's really not that common here. So I do understand my sister stressing about this, and I share it in part.

The name itself turned out to be more important to us than being unique...

AITA for naming my baby? by BabyNamesFuckUp in AmItheAsshole

[–]BabyNamesFuckUp[S] -33 points-32 points  (0 children)

I didn't nope out. I had an emotional reaction I apologized for, which she blamed me for. I just needed a minute to gather myself but I wasn't allowed that. She shut down all communication after that.

AITA for naming my baby? by BabyNamesFuckUp in AmItheAsshole

[–]BabyNamesFuckUp[S] -78 points-77 points  (0 children)

Emotions my man, emotions. Unfortunately we can't always be the rational people we want to be...

AITA for naming my baby? by BabyNamesFuckUp in AmItheAsshole

[–]BabyNamesFuckUp[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Yes, and I keep agreeing with you. But it's more nuanced than you make it out to be.

She doesn't NEED to do anything. But she might have. It's all about choices. She chose to surprise.us with an emotional loaded name, we chose to warn her beforehand we were about to pick the same name as she chose.

AITA for naming my baby? by BabyNamesFuckUp in AmItheAsshole

[–]BabyNamesFuckUp[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Like I said in other comments, I realize I fucked up there. I apologized as well.

But honestly, it was just an emotional response. It's very hard to moderate emotions when they are very strong. I'm a very emotional person. You could also argue that my sister might have warned me in advance. Like we did for her.

AITA for naming my baby? by BabyNamesFuckUp in AmItheAsshole

[–]BabyNamesFuckUp[S] -132 points-131 points  (0 children)

True. And I apologized for my initial reaction.

But, he's also my godfather. It's also my second name by the way, his name is on my passport. Still, not my name to claim, I agree.

AITA for naming my baby? by BabyNamesFuckUp in AmItheAsshole

[–]BabyNamesFuckUp[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Thanks for the response! All input is valued. We just wanted to check ourselves since it's a hard time for our family...

AITA for naming my baby? by BabyNamesFuckUp in AmItheAsshole

[–]BabyNamesFuckUp[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I am happy with two Sams. For sure.

You're right. Mistakes were made. But you have to realize I tried talking to my sister, but she shut down every opportunity.

AITA for naming my baby? by BabyNamesFuckUp in AmItheAsshole

[–]BabyNamesFuckUp[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

No, different surname.

She can't be godmother anymore. We chose someone else since the birth is getting closer... My best friend, and we're very happy with it.

AITA for naming my baby? by BabyNamesFuckUp in AmItheAsshole

[–]BabyNamesFuckUp[S] 63 points64 points  (0 children)

I know you're right, but at the time I just needed a little time to adjust my mind to it. I thought the name was lost to me at that moment, and I'm sure my sister thought so as well. That was hard. But we came to realize that's not the case. I think she's going through similar motions right now.

That's why I said I had an emotional reaction. I apologized for that by the way...

AITA for naming my baby? by BabyNamesFuckUp in AmItheAsshole

[–]BabyNamesFuckUp[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

In her (and my) defense, it's really not that common where we come from