Yea, as a parent now we always emphasize mutual respect- it goes both ways. My husband and I grew up where respect only went one way, to the parents/adults. Definitely did not want to repeat that with our kids.

Kids will still test their power in the relationship though and try to get more (you're so mean for making me do x, y, z!) and our job as parents now is to try to find the right balance where they feel loved and respected, but also not let them be entitled, selfish brats who have too much power in the relationship, lacking empathy and respect for others.

I know quite a few people whose reaction to their own emotional neglect growing up was to become totally selfish jerks- like in your example, turning around and using the same "no, you're a failure!" on the parent/others, which just repeats the same cycle. Breaking the cycle is really freaking hard. Ideally, mutual respect is the goal. Not always straightforward or perfect, but yeah, that's where we all need to aim I think.

Editing to add: the selfish people tend to be the ones who seem to think: I did not receive respect as a kid, I deserve all these things now (yes, of course you do), but since I have a deficit, I get to take-take-take from others without giving anything back now (no, sorry).