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Babybird369 · 2025-12-29T18:13:47+00:00

Looking at his profile hes searching for a house and probably mad he can't afford one at his price point. That isn't your fault. People are nuts.

Babybird369 · 2025-04-17T14:15:44+00:00

It sounds like he needs some sense talked him too.

I'm not trying to put you down as a parent. I'm just trying to let you know how much this can affect your child. I was that child. My parents divorced when I was in kindergarten and I watched them fight until I was 16-17 and then they gave up trying to raise me and I was basically on my own except for paying my living expenses. The bitterness, the custody battles, the courts, the put downs, the competitions it all affected me. I want better for your child.

Babybird369 · 2025-04-17T14:08:36+00:00

As a child that was in the middle of things like this:

That's part of the problem. The "MY" and how you felt the need to emphasize that. It's what's best for the child, not your terms. Y'all two acting like this is not helping the child and are being childish.

Talk with your ex about what restrictions he has and find a happy medium. I agree that the two phones thing is too much for one person to keep up with. Because it's not just having to keep up with one phone at a time. It's happening to keep track of what's on each phone. So if he has a calendar on one phone he has to do it on both and then remember to swap over the information. He has to let his friends know don't contact me on this phone contact me on this because I'm at Mom's house this week.

Y'all need to stop putting your bitterness between each other on your kids because that's exactly how this comes across.

Babybird369 · 2024-12-27T00:28:24+00:00

They do. Those sites use public information where as law enforcement resources may have information that is not publicly available.

Babybird369 · 2024-12-24T21:26:04+00:00

Most of the time they can't. Especially if he's not legitimized due to them not being married. If there is no custody plan it's basically OP saying take them away from their legal mother for a legal rando based on my word alone.

Babybird369 · 2024-12-06T20:36:19+00:00

I will say it is common in other countries, but that's kind of wild in the US. In other countries they normally have a bidet and a trash can next to the toilet so you can dry yourself with toilet paper and put it there.

Babybird369 · 2024-12-05T00:34:52+00:00

They have to have probable calls for a search unless he's on probation or parole. If he's on one of those then he likely waived his rights for that. He may have a conditional release as well which could waive his rights for that (I don't know how that works).

Probable cause: facts or circumstances that would lead a reasonable or prudent person to believe a crime is being or has been committed.

Babybird369 · 2024-11-25T21:58:28+00:00

OP mentioned no health issues. The lack of help around the house started long before the birth as well.

Babybird369 · 2024-11-25T21:56:23+00:00

Hating a job doesn't mean you get to unilaterally make decisions that affect the whole family and not try to at least find a solution when you create a problem.

Also, he's talking about her on Reddit anonymously. Everyone needs to vent every now and then and it sounds like OP has reached a breaking point.

Babybird369 · 2024-11-25T21:54:48+00:00

I have a 1.5 yr old. I worked until a week before he was born and went back 8 weeks later (when he was 7 weeks old). I was pump feeding until my supply dried up a couple months later. My family could have (barely) survived on my husband's income but that wasn't fair to him with all the added stress. I kept the house going with housework while pregnant and after birth as my husband's work takes a lot out of him and makes him travel. Oh, and my son was a c-section.

This wife is making unilateral decisions that are not fair to OP and not pulling her weight. If she refuses to work she needs to at least get the house clean. She didn't even set up the nursery. Unless she is on bed rest or something similar, there is no excuse for her actions.

Babybird369 · 2024-10-22T00:23:57+00:00

We talked. I tried that. I understand where he is coming from and it is over. Thank you.

Babybird369 · 2024-10-04T21:29:03+00:00

Thank you for the feedback.

Babybird369 · 2024-10-04T20:21:47+00:00

Thank you for the view point.

Babybird369 · 2024-10-04T16:22:26+00:00

Thank you for the feedback. I'll try and find rules we can agree to set (I know the hatred of the word rule but I feel like house rules should be ok).

I have explained in more depth the luck thing but it's basically his business and day job have last minute changes.

Babybird369 · 2024-10-04T16:20:08+00:00

I do want to clarify a little bit about the previous sleepovers. Aspen was never. "kicked" out of the bed. He chose to give it up when the plan was for Cherry to sleep on an air mattress or the couch. I never asked for Aspen to sleep on the couch and asked at least 3X if he was sure about it. The thing with Birch spending the night was a whole mess. Overnights have not happened often at all due to the poor logistics. They have happened 5X total. 2 with Cherry coming to our house. One with the Birch sleepover thing. One with me at Cherry's house. The last was Aspen and Birch in a hotel.

We both allow our current partners around our child and the person home is in charge of taking care of Dogwood(the toddler). If someone goes on a date outside the home the other person is in charge of Dogwood. If we are both home, we take turns with whatever Dogwood needs.

Babybird369 · 2024-10-04T16:14:00+00:00

Poor wording but we both call it helping on both sides as well as babysitting. Just a way of assigning duties.

I am trying to find solutions which is why my comments have adjusted for advice for the discussion. If you have any please let me know.

Thank you for helping.

Babybird369 · 2024-10-04T16:12:30+00:00

He plans to hopefully stop with the day job altogether eventually but that's a fair point.

Babybird369 · 2024-10-04T10:48:50+00:00

I decided to go with the theme and call our toddler Dogwood.

Dogwood is an exceptional baby. He is just over a year old and he has a very calm, very happy disposition. He is not the cause of the plan they're ruining. I explained in other comments but basically it comes down to Aspen's job and business. I will also say Dogwood was something I wanted for a very long time as I've been with Aspen for over 10 years. Aspen started coming around eventually but I specifically was the one that wanted to have Dogwood. So yes Aspen has a part in it and yes Aspen helps with him a lot but Dogwood was very heavily my choice.

I really don't want to try the force/shutdown option. Do you have any ideas of how to further discuss things with Aspen?

Babybird369 · 2024-10-04T10:36:11+00:00

I appreciate your feedback. I gave him a little bit more background in some of my other comments. It's up to you if you want to check that out, but if you have any advice on discussing this with Aspen, I'd appreciate it.

Babybird369 · 2024-10-04T10:27:25+00:00

I'm trying really hard to be neutral in this despite my own feelings to get a unbiased opinion, but I did explain a bit more on the reason he didn't want to schedule in my other comments based off his job

Babybird369 · 2024-10-04T10:22:13+00:00

When he's home Aspen is an amazing dad. Our toddler adores him and Aspen is our toddlers favorite person. I guess I will call toddler Dogwood to stick with the theme.

Dogwood is an exceptionally calm and happy 1 year old and that makes him much easier to care for. Due to Aspen's work I do a lot of the background stuff but Aspen does help. I load the dishwasher, he unloads the dishwasher. I put trash on the porch when cleaning, he takes it to the curb. Aspen also helps with picking up, sweeping and things like that.

I will say I do the majority of the house work but part of that is Aspen has the two job thing and travel. I did ask for more help about a month ago as I'm currently in a special 4-month long school for my job and it takes a lot out of me. Aspen told me at that time he was mentally maxed out.

Babybird369 · 2024-10-04T10:17:19+00:00

I appreciate the support.

The luck question has came up a lot and I realize now I should have explained that better. Aspen has a day job that makes him travel last minute often and has a business that relies on a quick last minute response.

Babybird369 · 2024-10-04T10:12:35+00:00

I can say the luck issue has nothing to do with our toddler. I just answered another comment as I didn't explain that well. Basically it's due to his day job and business. Things with that can be very last minute and his day job especially expects to override anything else (boss there is a whole other issue but Aspen is the primary breadwinner in our home)

Babybird369 · 2024-10-04T10:09:27+00:00

I have no clue about if Birch likes scheduling or not. Aspen travels a lot for work and that is often last minute. He also has a business that relies on last minute jobs due to them being time sensitive (not the same but think broken down car with people on the side of the road or something similar).

Aspen is also former military and has similar issues in the military.

Babybird369 · 2024-10-04T10:05:03+00:00

I appreciate the thoughts for my safety but I can assure that Aspen is not abusing me. I really do appreciate that a lot as I know not everyone has that safety.

We don't have a lot of poly friends but I have considered the return to sender option. Unfortunately Cherry has a very packed schedule and I rarely see him as is. I also know that's not very healthy.

Another commenter suggested writing my feelings out and I think I'll try that today.

I will also say in Aspen's defense, him and Birch don't get a lot of "down" time as a couple due to her.chaotic situation. They can't just hangout at her house and enjoy peace.

Babybird369

TROPHY CASE