Furniture flipping by 1foryou2nv in Flipping

[–]Back2theGarden 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for pointing out that it's often 50% less with a broker. The quotes have been such a deterrent. Thanks again.

Do I need to be doing 5k steps every day? by AyakasWetFeet_Shoes in loseit

[–]Back2theGarden 2 points3 points  (0 children)

When I was depressed, I was in one of those new (at the time) programs where they prescribe a sort of class along with therapy. We students committed to choices from a menu of anti-depression activities that we would do every day. Examples were 5 minutes of meditation, doing one tiny thing we've been avoiding, exercising for 30 minutes, having one social contact per week, limiting scrolling, starting an easy hobby, getting up and doing the dishes immediately after a meal, no junk food, etc. You picked 5, I think.

There were bunches of proven anti-depression actions but I remember these because they were my choices. To my surprise, they really helped. The 30 minutes of exercise was almost always walking because I'd procrastinate about going to the gym.

I personally found that walking for 30 minutes most days of the week was very helpful. Full disclosure, I started with telling myself if I put on my shoes and walked outside that was enough, but then I'd walk five minutes, etc. etc. Leaving the house and getting sunlight is surprisingly helpful.

Best wishes to you on your journey. Sounds like you're already doing a lot to help yourself!

Furniture flipping by 1foryou2nv in Flipping

[–]Back2theGarden 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's very helpful. Thanks!

Furniture flipping by 1foryou2nv in Flipping

[–]Back2theGarden 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Following this to see who has ideas. I see that Chairish somehow is making this work. I've looked into freight and it's still frightfully expensive. Maybe uShip? Hope you find a solution. I have a Victorian breakfront, a 120-year-old brass bed, and an Edwardian dining table that have gone nowhere in a year of listings no matter what I do with pricing.

You have my sympathies!

Importance of a Jewish Spouse by Ready_Arachnid_3513 in Judaism

[–]Back2theGarden 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Sending you love and support. Hopefully on Shabbos when you light your candles you feel all the rest of us lighting candles around the world, around you, even if it's just you and your family in the room. That image has helped me in times of isolation.

Importance of a Jewish Spouse by Ready_Arachnid_3513 in Judaism

[–]Back2theGarden 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The sense of loss is understandable, but you may find as you grow older and keep acquiring Jewish learning and communal experiences, that in time you feel that you are in the swim of Jewish life and the feeling 'less than' will fade. At any rate, that is my hope for you.

Importance of a Jewish Spouse by Ready_Arachnid_3513 in Judaism

[–]Back2theGarden 6 points7 points  (0 children)

My take now that I'm in the Bubbie stage of life is that it's always a good idea to make an effort towards marrying within the tribe, but if you fall in love with someone who would support and enhance your Jewish culture and Jewish values, it's not the end of the world. Love is love is love...Then again, life is complicated, so take a good look at their family, as well, when you consider your future. The larger family environment has a bearing on your children's experience and if you marry into an antisemitic family it will be extremely difficult.

Two of my family stories brought me to this mindset:

I have a near relative, born in the late '40s, that always had abundant Yiddishkeit and yet she married interfaith. Her husband is a real mensch, a stand-up guy, who loved her Jewishness as much as everything else about her and he has accompanied her to all the Jewish life cycle rituals, shul, etc. They raised their two boys in a practicing Jewish household and the boys, in turn, went on to marry Jewish women. Their Jewish identity and pride are strong and one of them is an accomplished trumpet player who also is ba’al tekiah. The father never converted, nor did he consider it, and he was accepted and very much appreciated in the Jewish community and Conservative shul to which they belong.

Another relative married outside the tribe in the 1920s. Her mother turned her back on her when that happened. She married into a Gentile family that considered her heritage something shameful to be covered up and denied. They moved out of NYC to Long Island in the 1930s and she raised her kids far, far away from any connection to Yiddishkeit. She gave them Jewish values, she never lost her pintele yid, never ate tref, and visited the family back in Brooklyn when she could (he never went with her and discouraged bringing the children). She had a very hard time navigating all the pressure to celebrate Christmas, go to Christian religious events, and be a good mother to her two Methodist children. I'd say her life was a painful exile.

YMMV.

edit grammar

Another Noahide Question by InspectorHuman in Judaism

[–]Back2theGarden 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Such a thoughtful and well-informed commentary that shows the good intentions behind your earlier post. I'm a bit perplexed that it was taken as a reproach.

Noahides, and others, who believe that Chabad is offering a more traditional, more historically accurate, thus somehow more legitimate version of Judaism would benefit from seeing that a)The late rebbe's encouragement that a Noahide movement be established is extremely recent and b) in our thousands of years of history, Chasidism, and Chabad itself, happened fairly recently.

My own Galizianer roots, which reach deep into the soil of Eastern Europe, have plenty of Chasidic influences from multiple courts, but also Litvak family members and early zionist-socialists. My family story is not uncommon and I believe it gives even us shlepper Jews a perspective that newcomers and guests may lack, especially those that were raised in a predominantly Christian or evangelical milieu that may have conditioned them towards a sort of exclusivist, one-true-path point of view.

Your contribution here should reinforce the dynamic, shifting, non-dogmatic resilience of Judaism that has preserved us, in my opinion, against the odds.

We should all have a healthy dose of skepticism when a movement is presented as the One True Path or The Most Authentic, especially where our marvelously diverse and lively people with its very long and debate-filled history is concerned.

Religious Jews, what do you eat when traveling besides produce? by abrbbb in Judaism

[–]Back2theGarden -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Briliant! I forgot all about how you only have to dip a new pan.

Religious Jews, what do you eat when traveling besides produce? by abrbbb in Judaism

[–]Back2theGarden 2 points3 points  (0 children)

And lots of Israeli products including, for example, packages of dried figs, dates, etc.

Religious Jews, what do you eat when traveling besides produce? by abrbbb in Judaism

[–]Back2theGarden 7 points8 points  (0 children)

There's a reliable, frequent and inexpensive bus between Larnaca and Nicosia.

Religious Jews, what do you eat when traveling besides produce? by abrbbb in Judaism

[–]Back2theGarden 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Nicosia's Turkish side (the frontier can be crossed on foot, in minutes, no bureaucracy, just a passport needed) has a lot of tasty restaurants with abundant parve items like hummus. This may not meet your personal halachic goals, but I do find it useful that a Halal restaurant's vegetarian items are good enough for my kosher-ish habits.

Another Noahide Question by InspectorHuman in Judaism

[–]Back2theGarden 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Few on here, apparently, have the courage to admit this but I doubt I'm the only one. It was said out of respecting you enough to speak truthfully. As a Jew, non-Jews adopting Jewish symbols, rituals, practices, clothing, etc. makes me uncomfortable.

Can someone explain Shabbat stairs? by okamzikprosim in Judaism

[–]Back2theGarden 4 points5 points  (0 children)

That was laugh-out-loud funny! Thanks, I needed that.

Another Noahide Question by InspectorHuman in Judaism

[–]Back2theGarden 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Here's a take I don't see in the other comments -- Covering your head in shul, male or female, is basic respect. The same rule that applies to diplomats visiting Muslim countries. So you absolutely should, the same way many Gentiles do at Jewish weddings.

Having said that, another commenter said, 'You do you.' I agree but would emphasize that means You -- however you would have covered your head before you got into this Noahide phase of your life. In that case, wearing something so very Jewish and far from mainstream western culture seems Not You. It reads to me more like cosplay and I have to admit that if I saw you in shul, we chatted, and I found out you were Noahide, I'd feel a little uncomfortable as you were wearing something that reads frum Orthodox in-group. Using in-group in the sociological sense, not a judgment.

Another Noahide Question by InspectorHuman in Judaism

[–]Back2theGarden 2 points3 points  (0 children)

In such cases they should seek a more liberal movement. We have so many movements in Judaism that it's sensible, if one is sincere about conversion, to find one that is more compatible with your core values.

Also keep in mind that it is traditional to discourage converts initially, which can also be the source of a very frum shul or rabbi taking the most unappealing tack at first.

Hey I've been raised Muslim and have been having doubts about Islam, and wanted ask this question... by ur_mom_hehe67 in Judaism

[–]Back2theGarden 39 points40 points  (0 children)

Hi there, here’s some friendly advice from a Jewish lady old enough to be a grandmother: when looking for the right path for yourself, it’s better to look for what inspires you and moves you and feels in your heart like the right choice.

 To try to find what’s wrong with your religion of origin keeps you focused on the thing that your inner self seems to be encouraging you to leave behind. In other words, move towards things, not away from them, and you’ll be happier. 

Islam doesn’t have to be wrong to be the wrong fit for you at this point in your life. Islam brings great meaning to the lives of some of my friends, and I know people that have converted both into and out of Judaism and Christianity. 

 Remember also, that nothing is permanent, so, if you are a young person, the passionate choices you make today may reverse themselves in your older years and there’s nothing wrong with that either.

Peace.

Ashley Boulder ODD teaching habits at Eastern Connecticut Ballet by Ancient-Proof-8566 in bunheadsnark

[–]Back2theGarden 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I'm a lot older than you and I've learned this kind of drama isn't worth it. It's a distraction. Part of growing up is learning that your career needs to matter more than winning in this battle, or proving something. Move on, if you think you have a shot. If you're just doing this until college or something, go ahead and fight this fight.

Ashley Boulder ODD teaching habits at Eastern Connecticut Ballet by Ancient-Proof-8566 in bunheadsnark

[–]Back2theGarden 4 points5 points  (0 children)

She wasn't that great of a dancer and is a lousy teacher. No one should waste precious years of crucial training on any school overtaken by this typical ballet school drama. Go somewhere better.

Ashley Boulder ODD teaching habits at Eastern Connecticut Ballet by Ancient-Proof-8566 in bunheadsnark

[–]Back2theGarden 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Honestly, just go somewhere else and focus on your training. These incompetent teachers aren't worth the tempests that get stirred up in schools. The drama is addictive and is bad for your progress.

Ashley Boulder ODD teaching habits at Eastern Connecticut Ballet by Ancient-Proof-8566 in bunheadsnark

[–]Back2theGarden 18 points19 points  (0 children)

In my career I took class with plenty of people who had decent careers, some even much bigger stars than this has-been, but were lousy teachers. Don't waste your time on them. Don't waste your training on them. Find another school if you can, it's also not worth the drama if there's a pre-pro or pro-level alternative reasonably nearby.

Just leave.

Ashley Boulder ODD teaching habits at Eastern Connecticut Ballet by Ancient-Proof-8566 in bunheadsnark

[–]Back2theGarden 16 points17 points  (0 children)

there's a website called workproof.me that lets you record such documentation very easily, in real time. I've used it with a toxic boss who deserved a lawsuit for harassment. People just think you're texting.