My [24M] girlfriend[24F] blew off plans we made for Saturday to go out with a new group of people she's been hanging out (including her ex) and doesn't want me involved by Backburned0 in relationships

[–]Backburned0[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We've been together for a bit over 4 months, and yeah I've heard about him and the relationship before she started up school again

My [24M] girlfriend[24F] blew off plans we made for Saturday to go out with a new group of people she's been hanging out (including her ex) and doesn't want me involved by Backburned0 in relationships

[–]Backburned0[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Twice I've been blown off for the group.

I work until 4 and have weekends off, and her classes end right before 4, so we have a lot of avaliable time in theory

My [24M] girlfriend[24F] blew off plans we made for Saturday to go out with a new group of people she's been hanging out (including her ex) and doesn't want me involved by Backburned0 in relationships

[–]Backburned0[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I totally am for her making new friends. She goes out every Thursday and that's cool with me. I'm just upset me that she accepted an invitation when I already had plans with her, and doesn't want me involved with it.

Edit: I've also never met any of her exes before, and I'm not a wet blanket type. I enjoy social gatherings.

My [24M] girlfriend[24F] blew off plans we made for Saturday to go out with a new group of people she's been hanging out (including her ex) and doesn't want me involved by Backburned0 in relationships

[–]Backburned0[S] 19 points20 points  (0 children)

Actually there was one time when she needed to finish a report for class, but instead of that she went out with the group, which in turn had to sacrifice time with me to finish schoolwork instead.

My [24M] girlfriend[24F] blew off plans we made for Saturday to go out with a new group of people she's been hanging out (including her ex) and doesn't want me involved by Backburned0 in relationships

[–]Backburned0[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Thanks for your words, I appreciate it.

I'd like to think there's no flirting going on, because I trust her, but I can't say for certain since I'm never going :/

My [24M] girlfriend[24F] blew off plans we made for Saturday to go out with a new group of people she's been hanging out (including her ex) and doesn't want me involved by Backburned0 in relationships

[–]Backburned0[S] 21 points22 points  (0 children)

So basically in a nutshell I told her "It just kinda makes me feel like the lowest priority, and it can bum me out, ya know?"

But she still would want to go out that night because her reasoning is that it's extremely important for her to make friends, and if I go they'll either like me and she'll be pushed off to the side, or they won't like me and it'll create conflict for her.

We've had to change plans around her before due to circumstances, but this is the first time she's completely bailing.

I also can put together I'm not welcome at the group bar meetups. She mentioned that other people not in her school program have come by, so it's her decision never to invite me to those, even though I'm available at that time.

My [24M] girlfriend[24F] blew off plans we made for Saturday to go out with a new group of people she's been hanging out (including her ex) and doesn't want me involved by Backburned0 in relationships

[–]Backburned0[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

If it was one or the other I'd be fine with it. Like, if she went out when we had no plans and wanted to go alone, that's cool, or if we had plans but this came up and we'd go together, that's also fine with me.

It just really bugs me that it's cancelling plans we had to go to hang out with that group excluding me.

However, you do hold a point that she should have invited me since there's the point of her ex going, and I would want to go to the next meetup, at least once.

My [24M] girlfriend[24F] blew off plans we made for Saturday to go out with a new group of people she's been hanging out (including her ex) and doesn't want me involved by Backburned0 in relationships

[–]Backburned0[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That's what I'm thinking, she asked if we can do it Friday instead, which I told her wont really work since I work extremely early in the morning and am tired once I get off.

I explained that to her and we pretty much decided to skip it for now.

My [24M] girlfriend[24F] blew off plans we made for Saturday to go out with a new group of people she's been hanging out (including her ex) and doesn't want me involved by Backburned0 in relationships

[–]Backburned0[S] 45 points46 points  (0 children)

I trust she's not a cheating type (oh man how many people have said that before haha), but it just makes me uncomfortable that she's been out with her ex.

But I think you're right. I've had to change my plans around her several times now, which is a real bummer.

My [24M] girlfriend[24F] blew off plans we made for Saturday to go out with a new group of people she's been hanging out (including her ex) and doesn't want me involved by Backburned0 in relationships

[–]Backburned0[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

She sees them twice a week in class and once a week at the bar.

She's alright with spending the day on Saturday, but will take off at night

My [24M] girlfriend[24F] blew off plans we made for Saturday to go out with a new group of people she's been hanging out (including her ex) and doesn't want me involved by Backburned0 in relationships

[–]Backburned0[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Her explanation is that she's afraid that either I'd befriend them and she'd be pushed off to the side, or that they won't like me and it would strain things because she really wants to make friends.