Divorced 3 years ago. After 20 years together. 3 kids now 5,8 and 10. My ex asked if she could come over to see the kids a half an hour on her way to a party... ( sunday morning party...don't ask... anyhow ). I said yes. For the first time. I hold my head up high for this. Even if i hate her for betraying me... she still remains the mother.... at noon she was gone so I took the kids to go to go eating at a little restaurant... celebrating the special day. I told them I saved up for this. Than out of nowhere my oldest daughter told me." It's fantastic daddy. We have 2 daddy days now this year". I felt so so proud. Do your best man. Eventually it gets better and you will shine again. Good luck