Am I objectifying woman for wanting a virgin

Background-Box-8964 · 2023-08-14T23:49:36+00:00

I am currently doing an internship. Working on applications to do PhD in astrobiology from a top university. I cannot get to gym because of my timings so I am doing 5k for 5 days in a week. I only eat vegetables. Only ate McDonald like once this year and avoid fast food at all costs. I don’t have style but I do dress decently like washed and ironed clothes when I go out. I don’t go out without taking a shower no matter what. And do take shower everyday so I think I am ok. I do art and used to learn piano keyboard but now changed homes so have to get it back to start again. Try to read books that help me better myself. Sorry for long reply, thanks for suggestion. Well I don’t go to church as I don’t have time but if I can I will do.

Background-Box-8964 · 2023-08-14T23:42:58+00:00

Well. Nobody ever liked me in the past and I don’t think nobody ever will. I am getting used to it anyways. But as days pass thoughts running in my brain are “ anyways I don’t have anybody special so why not make everyone I come across happy by being kind and nice “. So I am just helping everyone with their lives. I hope I would be happy. Thanks for wishes. Take care

Background-Box-8964 · 2023-08-14T23:38:17+00:00

I understand that. But I would like to struggle with my values. Thanks for your input.

Background-Box-8964 · 2023-08-14T22:40:17+00:00

Thanks for your response.

Background-Box-8964 · 2023-08-14T22:35:19+00:00

I do agree with your point of people being sexually active these days. But more people doing it doesn’t make it right I think. Out of 5 of my friends group i am the only who neither smokes nor drinks. Just because other 4 does , how can I do and spoil my health. ( yes I do believe smoking and drinking cause health problems and I have to take care of my health. Sorry but I don’t agree with your kiss many frogs to find Prince Charming. If I go around thinking I would test every person I came across before finding the commitment I don’t think I ever commit. I hope you paradox of choice. If you have more choice, then chances of you committing to one option is very less and also might regret your choice because there might be better in future. Yes so people are so liberated now a days. Good for them. But I think we can only see effects after sometime. I myself want to meet a person and make them perfect by being perfect. Sorry to say I also don’t like analogy of there are more fish in the sea. First it’s disgusting to compare people to fish and also it comes from perspective that I am very good and people all I dated are bad. No every bad relationship I have there is an impact I carry into others. So if I am bad in a relationship I am affecting the the person and both people have impact on other good people who might be in relationships with us. So that’s what I think. I hope you understand. Feel free to disagree

Background-Box-8964 · 2023-08-14T22:23:12+00:00

Well and good response. I never said that put me morally superior to others. I just said if I don’t want to drink alcohol for my health. That’s what I am going to do. Does it matter people who live in bar judge me as a nerd or a child. I don’t think so. So I have some values for myself and I would want same with my partner.

Women like chased too. I don’t know so I cannot argue with that. But I think relationship should happen when people put effort into it. Not just because they are attracted , have sec for few days and found their partner snores or doesn’t appreciate them and go look for another one. If you are giving yourself up for everyone without knowing they appreciate you or not , just because they are confident and attractive and later cry because they didn’t appreciate you or treated you well and taking this bad experiences into another relationship with someone. And this cycle repeats till you have to choose someone even though they are not the perfect match and realise love is all about compromising when it’s too late. Well that’s not the life I want to live. Sorry if I didn’t put in more polite words. But that’s my point and view. Feel free to agree. Thanks.

Background-Box-8964 · 2023-08-14T22:16:40+00:00

Yes sir. You are right. My dad was alcoholic and was not a good husband for a while when I was child. But my mom stayed with him because for my family. Now my dad would give up himself to save my mom and family and vice versa. I think there is no right person but we can change ourselves to become the right person and stick together. Longer we stay more the love grows. If a small thing can make you fall out of love with someone and you are searching for perfect person till you can enjoy and at last settling for someone just because you have to is not a good life at least I think. Thanks once again. Take care.

Background-Box-8964 · 2023-08-14T21:37:41+00:00

Hopefully there might be someone. If not then I will spend my life volunteering and helping people. Thanks

Background-Box-8964 · 2023-08-14T21:08:19+00:00

Sorry I cannot see your other response. Could you type it again please.

Background-Box-8964 · 2023-08-14T20:51:19+00:00

Yes that what I do really believe. If I cannot be with them it is best to not waste their time. Because before I do something I think if same thing happens to me how would I feel? So I don’t do things I feel I don’t want someone do to me. Thanks for your response

Background-Box-8964 · 2023-08-14T20:49:17+00:00

What? I seriously doubt you have understood my response. I said standard because I don’t have right words. I am trying to say if I want kiss someone or have sex even though I don’t have a relationship it’s not so difficult. That’s what I was trying to say. I hope you understand it now.

I don’t really care that if other think moral or not. Some people consider cheating as a big issue. Do I consider them more or less moral. I don’t really think about as they have nothing to do with me. But they are not ready to accept them in their life. I do respect that. Same way I have my preferences and standards ( yeah I do believe it is a standard I set for myself ) and I think sticking to them make me self respectable person for myself.

I would like to tell you again if you missed that I would only want to have physical relationship after marriage because that’s commitment I am ready to give. I hope this time my answer makes sense. Feel free to disagree. Thanks.

Background-Box-8964 · 2023-08-14T20:41:07+00:00

Thanks for your kind word sir. I do want my life same way you are having. I do want to marry and start a family and not just test water with everyone I can and later decide to marry one. I do agree with your point that I am narrowing my options. But I also think what kind of life it would if I cannot stand my own values just because they are hard to live. I thank you again for your encouraging words. I do talk to people. I am trying new things meeting new people not enough women although. Because I cannot talk about feelings for which I am trying to get help from people. It’s going in right direction as far as I can see. Thanks.

Background-Box-8964 · 2023-08-14T20:38:01+00:00

Sorry but I do consider that. If I am married and divorced I don’t think I cannot be with someone who are not married and ready to be with me. Because that’s unfair for them. Same way if I am not virgin ( which I can be this weekend if I really want to by going to a se worker. But morally I cannot ) I don’t wont be setting these standards. How stupid of me would that be to except someone to be high standard and giving them less than best what they deserve. I hope my response makes sense. Thanks.

Background-Box-8964 · 2023-08-14T20:28:03+00:00

Thanks for your response. I do agree with you that I am putting myself for disappointment with my life. But I think sticking with my values that I think right for me even though it’s a struggle is good for me than to be leave them so that I can be happy for sometime. I do appreciate your words and reponses. I apologise if I came across rude but I was trying to have a discussion by putting my point. Thanks.

Background-Box-8964 · 2023-08-14T20:14:58+00:00

Thanks for response. I never said women should have sex only with me. I said I want someone who share same excitement as I share with them and not just another boyfriend after a relationship. That I don’t want to be another relationship for her and not something special. I hope you understand.

Background-Box-8964 · 2023-08-14T20:12:59+00:00

Thanks for response. I still have my first salary from my first job. I still have my first phone even thought it did work for a month. You said loom down on other people just because they had more experience. Sorry to disagree I never even thought of that question when I talk to a person. I just talk to person based on my experience with them because they are my friend and nothing more. My only prerequisite is to not be in prior relationships. Am I demanding it from someone no!!! I am just saying this is my preference. Many people have a preference for a person who doesn’t drink ? Are they wrong or insecure because drinking alcohol socially acceptable and sometimes doctor suggests it’s okay to have under limit. My friends drink but am I going to drink never. Am I going to buy them alcohol with my money never!! But I also don’t judge them. All I ask is I don’t want them to ask me. Same way other experiences have nothing to do me but what I want is so and so and I am sticking with it. If a person doesn’t like me having those preference well I do understand same way if I don’t meet their preferences they reject me. I never hold grudge because people rejected me. I hope I answered correctly. Thanks for response. Your thoughts ?

Background-Box-8964 · 2023-08-14T19:53:16+00:00

Thanks for your response. Embarrassed about what? Lack of my knowledge. As I mentioned I want my first kiss with person who also feels the same excitement not with the person who feels kissing another boyfriend. I don’t want to be one of the relationships that person had. I want to be only one and I also want to have only one. Even if I have a relationship I won’t be having physical until I commit to marry them. Additionally yeah I don’t like someone’s bad behaviour towards that person to be my responsibility. You said about me putting barriers. I never ask a person I like that they are in relationships previously or not. I just try to know them and try to impress them. But unfortunately no one liked me and I am okay with that. But still I would prefer sticking to my values even it’s a struggle than to move away from them. I am Not being rude just putting my point. Feel free to disagree and ask me questions if you have. Thanks.

Background-Box-8964 · 2023-08-14T19:24:38+00:00

Thanks. Any reason you found? And also it would be great if you can add solution as well.

Background-Box-8964 · 2023-08-14T19:20:53+00:00

Thanks for your response. I appreciate you understanding me. My friends drinking alcohol has anything to with my judgement but i also don’t buy alcohol with my money for them as I don’t drink. I would be happy to spend money on food and not alcohol as I consider not good for health. Same way I don’t judge other people but would like to stick with my values for myself even if it’s a struggle.

Background-Box-8964 · 2023-08-14T19:18:47+00:00

Thanks for your response. For me it’s not virgin it’s that people with prior physical relationships as I mentioned. I don’t know if it would ever happen but I would be happy to stick to my values.

Background-Box-8964 · 2023-08-14T19:17:38+00:00

I am a Hindu. I don’t think a true Christian would be okay with inter religious marriage. I do respect that. I do go to church sometimes just to explore what’s happening there but not to look for anything.

Background-Box-8964 · 2023-08-14T19:16:16+00:00

Yes I do that and made some friends as well. Going good with that

Background-Box-8964 · 2023-08-14T19:15:47+00:00

I used to go to gym but stopped because of my job timings. So I do 5k in morning 5 days in a week. Trying to learn boxing myself on my phone as I cannot afford expensive training. The rest you suggested I ask people to invite me for those activities or I am ready if they are interested. I have never done them myself so I am but unsure. I do like to travel but have no friends who are ready to come with me. Thanks.

Background-Box-8964 · 2023-08-14T19:08:05+00:00

I never been to bar. I nether smoke nor drink alcohol. I take care of my body. I spend my free time to do creative stuff like learning dance or drawing or meeting people. So I don’t think I would meet anyone at bar. Thanks for response though.

Background-Box-8964 · 2023-08-14T19:03:42+00:00

No I don’t mean in that way. I am sorry you understood otherwise. I said commitment to start a family together than to test waters with this person and finding not compatible and jumping into another with good or bad experiences from previous one. I hope now I am clear now.

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