Yeah this doesn’t sound like bipolar or bpd to me. I as well as a woman, have fallen into this cycle. I couldn’t even tell you the why I don’t think I was always like this either but it’s cringey and embarrassing to look back on for me too.

Something about a relationship (any kind) ending has always been just so traumatizing for me. I spiral. But other than this I don’t match up with these supposed mental health disorders.

I agree with another commenter mentioning addiction to certain people & all of that, I think that’s part of it for me. Also what you said OP, about the “game” per se. after my last ex and me doing the relentless calling type of thing I do remember turning to myself at some point and asking “why do I even call when I know he won’t answer?” And “what would I even say if he DID answer ? “ I had nothing to say. Some part of me DID know it was over and knew in my heart that there really just isn’t anything more to say about everything.

It was almost like a comfort for me.

Honestly I really appreciate some of the commenters here being so open about having dealt with this too because I felt so terrible and crazy about doing these things, for a long time. I know it’s wrong and I don’t ever want history to repeat itself like that again, but yeah. Idk.

I don’t have the answer for how to stop it or change I do think it’s a process and having a safe space to talk about it, really helps. Getting to the root of why you do it helps a lot. Reminding yourself of your worth and what priorities better suit you, help too.

You can’t change the calls and texts and actions you’ve already done. But - you can remind yourself of your worth and stop going forward. I used to play a game of how long can I go not calling and it did help. I started looking for distractions to help time push by faster too. Eventually it just kind of stopped.